Sibilare
by mezzosangue
Summary: A shower of golden sparks came from Hermione's wand. The curse has failed, and Severus and Hermione will never be the same. Canon Compliant, disregards Epilogue. Eventual SS/HG romance.
1. 1991 - 1994

**Author's Note:**

This is a completed work at just over 48,000 words. Chapters will come weekly, but I plan to upload chapter 2 quickly to get the ball rolling. It is (mainly) from Severus' POV. Inkspots fans will recognize my Severus - he's less angsty and bitter than in some great fanfics I enjoy; he definitely leans more into his sweet and snarky side in my fics. This one's fluffy and romantic, so grab a cozy beverage of choice and let's have some fun. **Sibilare is Italian for Fizzle. Because every language needs a word for fizzle.**

**Sibilare**

**November 1991 1st year**

Hermione crept through the stands quickly, accidentally knocking into Quirell in her haste to get to Snape. When she reached him, she took out her jar of bluebell flames and held them up to the hem of Snape's robes. Her hands shook as she prayed for the flames to catch. As she was creeping away a few moments later, a yelp from Snape told her that she had done the job.

**November 1992 2nd year**

When the firework went off in Goyle's potion, the predicted chaos ensued. Hermione crouched and walked swiftly to the locked storeroom. Alohamora worked to unlock the door, but as she passed the storeroom's threshold, magic washed over her and startled her. A split second of panic enveloped her as she remembered that locks were not the only thing that wizards could use to keep people out. She had been naive to think that a wizard like Snape would only use a simple locking spell. He hated the students and Snape was far from naive. The magic felt friendly, but that could have been a trap. Too far gone to turn back now, she crept further into the storeroom and grabbed the boomslang skin. Again, magic washed over her, starting with her hand as she grabbed the jar and washing over her entire body, and the sense of foreboding that this was a fool's errand made her shake. She retreated from the room and shut the door, willing her body to calm down and stop shaking so as to not give her away. She caught Harry's eye and crouched once more until she was back at their table. Harry was ignoring her to not give her away. She took a deep breath and started packing away her things as Snape continued to yell instructions to the students. She put on her best face to show her anger that someone would dare disrupt a class, then moved out with the others when he yelled at them to leave the classroom.

Later that night, Snape inventoried his storeroom. He had been a teacher long enough to know a distraction when he saw one. Hell, he had enough detention records to fill one of Filch's boxes because of his own dumb stunts as a student. Boomslang skin. Damn. Someone had plans. Why was someone always plotting something at Hogwarts? He was smug that it wouldn't be long until the culprit was outed. As he made his way purposefully to the Infirmary, he looked at every second year student that passed him by. He was sure Potter had something to do with it, but he wouldn't rule out anyone. He pushed open the doors of the Infirmary and looked at the occupied beds. Only two occupied beds, two older Ravenclaw students whose steaming ears indicated that flu season was starting.

"Professor Snape," Madame Pomfrey greeted with a slight tone of questioning, "is there something I can do for you?"

"What other students have come to see you today?" he asked her, cutting to the chase.

"Only one other student. One of your third years. Professor Lockhart," she began, but he cut her off with his hand, grinding his teeth at the sheer mention of that buffoon.

"I was expecting someone to come see you for adverse reactions to a ward," Severus explained.

"Severus!" Madame Pomfrey's eyes got large. "Do you mean to tell me that someone ran afoul of one of your wards? Where are they?"

Severus felt a moment of censure before he remembered that the culprit was a thief. "Yes, someone stole from my private storeroom. I would think that their hand and arm would be quite uncomfortable by now."

"What if they don't come see me? They could be very badly hurt," she scolded.

"Well, obviously not if they're not here," Severus said in a bored voice. "Just let me know if someone comes to see you that fits the description."

He heard Madame Pomfrey harrumph as he stalked out of the Infirmary.

**June 1994 3rd year**

Dust from the floor of the Shrieking Shack made Hermione's eyes water as she looked at Harry and then caught Ron's eye. They both knew exactly what was about to happen. Harry's hatred of Snape, coupled with his intense desire to know the truth was about to uncage Harry's recklessness. They had seen Snape duel. Harry was only going to have one shot, so it had better work and buy them some time. Steeling her nerves she looked at Ron to see that he had already come to that same conclusion, as he was intently staring at Harry's wand hand. The second Harry's wand hand rose in the air, both Ron and Hermione shouted with him, "Expelliarmus." The three spells combined mid-air but even in that split second, she could tell that her spell, or maybe it wasn't hers, dissipated into a shower of golden light, falling from the red beam of magic and never reaching the intended target. But it didn't matter, the combined spells did what they needed it to do and then some. As Professor Snape hit the wall and slid down it unconscious, Hermione's hands flew to her mouth in shock.


	2. June 1996 Part 1

**Author's Note: Let's get this plot party started.**

**June 1996 5th year**

Hermione laid as still as possible, trying to calm her body down so that she could breathe. The pain was otherworldly. She passed out and then came to a few minutes later. This cycle kept repeating itself as she wondered in her lucid moments what the spell was doing to her chest. She felt as though she should be bleeding to death, but without the blood. The life preserving mantra to calm her body intermingled with the fear that everyone was surely dead. Ginny was lying unconscious not 5 feet from her. Luna was lying unconscious across the room, mostly hidden by an overturned desk, but she could see her dirty blond hair. The boys were missing. She succumbed to the pain again and lost consciousness.

Severus hated the Death Eater mask more than anything, save his Dark Mark. He hated the cold metal of the mask and tonight especially, he hated the anonymity. Anonymity, as a spy, should have been a plus, but in a scenario where both sides were present, anonymity could get him killed by the Order. But seeing as he was disobeying both of his masters' orders, anonymity seemed to be his best chance. Knowing Potter's rashness and his stupidity, the very worst combination a teenage boy could possess, his fear for the lives of Potter and his friends compelled him to leave the castle and enter the Ministry of Magic. He wound through the rooms in the Department of Mysteries, searching. Upon entering a room, he finally came upon them and quickly became on his highest guard, assessing the situation. Ginevra Weasley, Hermione Granger and Luna Lovegood were all lying in the ramshackle room, unmoving. His heart raced as he quickly cast a nonverbal Homenum Revelio and calmed slightly when it showed three light sources hovering over their bodies. All alive. He moved to Ginevra first and cast a quick diagnostic spell. She had a very bad broken ankle and she had been hit with some other spells that had depleted her magic. Her body had shut down to preserve itself. He couldn't heal an ankle that badly broken and he spent a moment trying to strategize. He wanted to help them without waking them and having them fight yet another Death Eater. He decided to stabilize the ankle. It would make sure that she would not sustain further injury when they were finally able to move her. Just as he cast the spell, he heard a whisper from behind him and turned just in time to see a curse leave Hermione Granger's wand and hear the end of her whispered, "Stupify!"

In that split second, thoughts of his own stupidity in letting his guard down mixed with fear and then utter shock as he watched her spell turn into a shower of light golden sparks before hitting his body. He looked at Hermione to see her passed out again, her wand rolling out of her limp hand.

Luna gasped. He looked quickly at the third occupant and was again startled by seeing Luna Lovegood sitting up, her hands covering her mouth. He tampered down his renewed shock at both the fizzled spell and the knowledge that he was being watched.

"Professor Snape!" she whispered, uncovering her mouth. "The spell," she began, but he cut her off.

"Miss Lovegood, are you hurt?" He didn't bother with such trivialities as why Luna knew it was him. Four years with Luna and three years with her mother at Hogwarts had desensitized him to whatever family gift they possessed for truth-knowing.

"I hit my head rather hard when they Stupefied me," she answered, rubbing the spot on her head. "Go to Hermione; she is badly hurt, but I didn't see what hit her. Neville carried her in but then he left to go with Harry."

Severus cast a spell on Luna to see that she indeed had a mild concussion. He advised her to stay still and then moved to Hermione. He cast a diagnostic spell and then swore under his breath. She had internal bleeding. "Damn Dolohov to hell," was his constant silent refrain as he cast more spells to isolate where the spell hit her. Not one drop of blood, but she might as well have been cleaved in two. He quickly went into action singing over her body while his wand traced along the path the curse had taken as his earlier spells had indicated. Containment was all he could hope to do with the dark spell. His mind went into overdrive thinking of ways to counteract the vicious spell. She would need two potions within the hour if she was to live through the night, and half a dozen more to fully recover. And sneaking into his brain unbidden was the memory of Hermione's spell dissipating into golden light. He banished those thoughts. Nothing mattered but making sure she lived. He cast about the room, trying to figure out a way to not blow his cover and save Hermione's life at the same time.

"Miss Lovegood," he began, and he felt Luna near his right elbow, looking down at Hermione. "Miss Granger has been hit with a very dark curse. I've contained it, but I must get back to Hogwarts quickly to start brewing if she is to be healed. I need you to convey a message to Madame Pomfrey when you are rescued by the Order."

"The Order?" she interrupted.

"Dumbledore's Army - the adult version," he said wryly. "They are here. When they take you back to Hogwarts, Madame Pomfrey must know that Miss Granger needs Blood Replenishing Potion and Skelegrow immediately. I don't care how you convey the message, as long as you don't mention my name. Are you able to do that, Miss Lovegood?"

Luna nodded. They both turned their heads toward the sound of Neville's odd voice - a combination of wheezing and yelling. Severus immediately jumped up and started walking to the door. He closed the door seconds after hearing the door at the far end open.

Apparating back to the gates of Hogwarts, he undid the wards and walked briskly to the front entrance and down to his private lab and into his storeroom. Grabbing ingredients purposefully off of almost every shelf, he stacked the jars in his arms until they were so laden that he had to set them down on the his private brewing station. He set up four cauldrons and lit fires under them all. He then summoned several more ingredients and three large potions books to himself. He breathed deeply as he took a moment to strategize which potion was most important. Once decided, he started to chop and tear potions ingredients and add them to the first cauldron, only glancing at the stained pages of a large book. Counter-clockwise stirs through a bubbling potion punctuated the silence. The heat was turned down on the first potion and left to simmer and he focused his attention on the next potion. It would need to stew for hours before adding the last ingredients, but he made quick work of the first steps and walked over to the third cauldron. The third potion was going to be finicky and he needed to have his wits about him. He stilled his body for a moment and practiced Occlumency to clear his mind. He read the potion instructions again and then methodically set up his work station in precise order and gathered all of his instruments. Then he set to work on the obscure potion. An hour later, he was nearing the end stage of the potion when Dumbledore entered his private lab. Dumbledore looked wan.

"Severus," he began quietly, "will you be able to save her?" There was no need to ask of whom he referred.

"I don't know," he said matter-of-factly. "Did Miss Lovegood convey my message?"

"Madame Pomfrey has given Miss Granger Blood Replenishing Potion and Skelegrow and is now wondering if Miss Lovegood is a Seer or if she is simply mad. She apparently came in to the Infirmary along with Miss Granger and the others shouting that Miss Granger's wound had spoken to her."

Severus rolled his eyes. He imagined that those words coming from any other student would have had them packing for St. Mungo's, but he had no doubt that Luna had delivered them in her etherial fairy-like way and had people simply confused rather than worried.

"Madame Pomfrey is patching up everyone else and asked me to wake you and ask you to come for a consult," Dumbledore informed him.

Severus nodded. "I have the first three potions ready for Miss Granger. Once I have had the consult, I will have them administered."

"Three?" Dumbledore's voice was tinged with alarm.

"Three of six. Maybe more," Severus answered quietly.

Dumbledore closed his eyes. "Let's go."

They made their way up to the Infirmary quickly and quietly. Dumbledore opened the door and preceded Severus into the cavernous room of beds made with white linen and towards the Matron, who was running diagnostics once more on Miss Granger.

"Severus," she began quickly, "Miss Granger was cursed and it's dark. It's very dark. I don't know what she needs."

Severus played his part well. "In the castle? Did a student do this to her?" He waved his wand to cast his own diagnostics as Madame Pomfrey looked to the Headmaster for guidance.

"The students were attacked by Death Eaters at the Ministry of Magic tonight, Severus."

Severus looked up at the Headmaster in feigned shock and outrage and seemingly went into quicker motion, casting more diagnostics and allowing him to get the information that he really wanted. The Blood Replenisher and Skelegrow had indeed worked. He breathed a silent sigh of relief. She was out of immediate danger. He took in all of the information that his spells had provided him and was disheartened to see that the four he had planned were not even going to be enough. He ran his hand through his hair, a habit of stress that he had broken when he was an older student in an attempt to not look weak. He turned back to Madame Pomfrey. "I will be sending three potions to you within the hour. She'll need more after that. I will begin immediately." And without another look at Miss Granger, Madame Pomfrey or the Headmaster, he strode from the room.

Once he was safely ensconced alone in his dungeon lab, he breathed out and ran his hand through his hair again. It was at once better and worse than he had previously thought. He was now sure that he could heal her. But it was going to take hours and hours of brewing because the order and timing of the potions was going to be critical. Dark magic had a rhythm to it and healing dark magic also had a rhythm to it. He leaned with his back against the door. His mind wanted nothing more than to examine Miss Granger's failed spell towards him, but there was not time. He steeled himself, emptied his mind once more and went back to the third potion. He lifted the stasis spell and completed the last step before turning off the heat and setting it aside to cool. He then decanted the first potion into many vials as she would need multiple doses. He created a label with the name of the potion and instructions. One quick duplication spell and sticking charms and the doses were ready for transport. He repeated his actions with the second and third potions and then called for a House Elf. The House Elf took the trays of potions, bowed and blinked out of the lab.

Halfway through the fourth potion, it took all his resolve not to go up to the Infirmary to check on Miss Granger. He didn't know how quickly they would see improvement, but he wanted to see if she had awaken. If she had not awaken with the first three potions, he felt secure that the fourth one would revive her. The next potions on his list to brew would work to completely eradicate the curse and its after-effects. Hopefully, Miss Granger would never know how narrow her escape from death truly was.

He walked the doses of the fourth potion up to the Infirmary himself. Hermione's bed had been shielded by privacy curtains, which wasn't a good sign. As he walked nearer the bed, he heard Madame Pomfrey's voice.

"I'm so sorry, child. I don't know why these scars have risen to your skin. But it's a sign that you are healing, thank Merlin. The dittany may work. If it doesn't we'll try other scar remedies."

"Thank you, Madame Pomfrey." Miss Granger's voice was quiet but steady.

Severus let out a breath that he didn't know he'd been holding. "Madame Pomfrey," he called out.

Madame Pomfrey bustled out from around the privacy screens. "Severus," she said, "thank Merlin. She's awake, but her skin - it started bubbling from the inside. She awoke screaming, but I gave her the third potion and it stopped the burning. She's not in pain right now. But the scars - they aren't responding to dittany."

Severus nodded. "Give her this fourth potion."

"Will it help the scars?" she asked.

Her face fell when Severus shook his head. "I'll see what I can do. But scars from dark magic always leave their mark."

She nodded in response, but Severus knew he now had yet another potion to make.


	3. June 1996 Part 2 and October 1996

**Author's Note: Did I mention this was a slow burn fiction? Severus and Hermione interaction begins in full force next chapter. By the way, I am a Ravenclaw, and if you're having any fun at all, some virtual house points to Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff cookies, or anything from your dungeon or tower would super make my day. **

**June 1996 5th year part 2**

Severus cleaned up the remnants of the first four potions and then got ready to create two more. The scar potion could wait, but the next two would work to make Miss Granger's body expel the dark magic remaining from the curse. Without these potions, she would feel a lingering heat from the curse for the rest of her life.

Stirring the second potion, he once again heard the door to his lab opening, knowing it was Dumbledore. Only Dumbledore could get through his wards to his private lab.

"How is she, Severus? Or should I ask, how will she be?"

"'How will she be' is the better question. She is out of immediate danger now, but the curse still resides in her. These two potions will hopefully rid her of the curse."

"Does she need them right now?" Dumbledore asked kindly. "You haven't slept."

"Neither have you, old man."

Dumbledore chuckled. "Oh for the days when someone would tuck me in to a bed in the Infirmary and take care of the details." He paused. "But you haven't answered me. We both know she doesn't need these particular potions this morning. Why are you doing this?"

Severus continued stirring the steaming potion with a long clear stirring rod. "I went to the Ministry tonight."

"Yes. That was clear the moment Madame Pomfrey told me that Miss Lovegood was ordering the Matron to take care of Miss Granger with such airy specificity. What is less clear is why you would risk everything. And we will talk about that later. But what concerns me right now is you."

Severus put a stasis spell over both cauldrons and looked at Dumbledore. "Look."

Dumbledore frowned at his spy, having never once been invited by Severus to see inside his mind. "Legilimens," Dumbledore whispered.

He saw Severus wind his way through the labyrinth of the Department of Mysteries and saw him cast the spell to see if the students were alive. He then saw Severus turn in time to see Miss Granger's failed Stupefy. He remained in the memory until Severus heard Neville's voice directing the Order members into the room. Severus then came back into focus, looking as if he had been tortured.

"Sequitur Simul," Dumbledore concluded, eyebrows raised. "Will Miss Lovegood keep your silence?"

Severus nodded. "Obviously," he drawled, "if she was willing to lie to Madame Pomfrey and not raise the alarm at the Ministry."

"And what do you think, Severus?"

"What do I think about yet another master in my life? About yet another choice being taken from me?" He paused, his initial heat dissipating. "I don't know what to think," he whispered.

Dumbledore chuckled, which earned him a predicted scowl from his Potions Master. "No choice has been taken from you. All the Sequitur Simul says in practicality is that you cannot hex Miss Granger, and she cannot hex you. Your magics know each other, and will not allow it. I know she is not your favorite student, but surely not hexing her is not a burden."

"It means more than that and you know it. Our magics call to each other. I am being chained by yet another prophecy!"

"Damn all prophecies to hell!" growled Dumbledore. "I just had this talk with Harry. You are not bound by a prophecy or a prediction or the Sequitur Simul. Knowledge. That's all you have. If Miss Granger hadn't tried to hex you tonight, would you be bound by the Sequitur Simul? No! But now you know something. You know that her magic calls to your magic - like calls to like. You can ignore this magic altogether. Live your life the way you want."

"My magic is me!" Severus beat his chest with his fist. "And my magic calls out to a sixteen-year-old girl," he said, defeated.

Dumbledore's eyes twinkled as he looked at his poor spy, for whom, it seemed, nothing ever went to plan. "This is a gift, Severus," Dumbledore reassured, ignoring the scoff from his Potions Master. "There is someone in the world for whom your magics are so intertwined that you can never cause them true harm. You can ignore this, pretend you don't have this knowledge, resent it, hate it, try to wish it away. Or," he waited for Severus to look at him, which never happened, "you can embrace it."

"Sixteen, Dumbledore. She's sixteen."

"She will not be sixteen forever. You will not be a spy forever. She will not be your student forever. And, hopefully," Dumbledore sighed, "there will not be a war forever."

Severus opened his mouth to argue again, but Dumbledore forestalled him. "I could only wish that my magic had not allowed me to hurt the one I loved, and vice versa. You can view it as a gift or as neutral knowledge, but it is not a curse, Severus. I am thankful that you were there tonight to save her life. Beyond saving the life of a student, she is vital to the war, I think. And I would like to think that your actions saved your life tonight, as well."

Severus returned Albus' thrice-damned twinkle with a scowl and watched as Dumbledore left his dungeons.

**October 1996 6th year**

Severus moved about the Great Hall, watching the pairs of students as they practiced non-verbal stunning spells. He had brought the class of 6th years to the emptied Great Hall so that they could spread out and provided a cushioning charm. Cushioning the entire floor of the Great Hall was no small feat, not that these dunderheads would ever understand how much magical power it took to do so. But his knowledge of stunning spells coupled with his knowledge of teenagers made him feel that it was well worth the effort to not have teenagers breaking bones everywhere and incurring the wrath of Madame Pomfrey.

There seemed to be two levels of pairs, who, conveniently, had claimed different sides of the Great Hall. First there were dunderheads paired with other dunderheads. These were the least likely to get hurt because they were the least likely to perform any magic today. Next were the advanced students paired with other advanced students. This group was mainly made up of Potter and his defense group who, he hated to acknowledge, were already quite skilled in stunning people. They were being slightly tripped up by the non-verbal part, but otherwise were doing well. People were falling over, stunned, three times as often on that side of the room. He had also taught them how to revive their fellows and allowed them to do so verbally to speed things up. Halfway through the class, his cushioning spell had done its job and students were getting back on their feet unharmed. Some were even laughing as their fellow students bounced somewhat as they hit the flagstone floor. He had moved back to the dunderhead side and was correcting a student who was concentrating so hard on the non-verbal part that the student's wand was sparking, when it happened.

Both Hermione and Padma Patil screamed and had rushed forward to their partners. Severus rushed to find the pair of young women scrambling to get a Stupefied Lavender Brown rolled off of Neville Longbottom. What were the odds, he thought, scowling. He quickly revived Lavender so that she could scramble away from Neville to see if he was injured. Apparently, a stunned Lavender had fallen on top of a stunned Neville. Damn these teenagers. Couldn't they even fall correctly?

Upon reviving Neville, it was to find out that Lavender's head had fallen upon Neville's collarbone, which was now broken if the way he was cradling his arm and grabbing his collarbone was any indication.

"Head to the Infirmary, Longbottom," Severus directed.

"Neville, do you want me to go with you?" It was Hermione. Severus turned as she questioned Neville.

"Nah, Hermione. I'm fine. I know the way," he joked. Severus scowled upon seeing Hermione give him a quick hug on his uninjured shoulder. Other Gryffindors joined in the well-wishing as he left. Severus walked away again, back towards the pair he had been correcting.

"Sir?"

It was Hermione. Severus froze. He turned around to face the student whom he had been steadfastly ignoring all year.

She bit her lip. "It's just that I had let Neville practice stunning me and that was only the first time I had stunned him. I was just wondering, Sir, if you would partner me."

"Go partner someone else, Miss Granger," and he turned to leave.

"But everyone else has a partner! And there's still quite a bit of time left in class. You can block my spells if you want, you don't have to fall…"

"No!" He had not meant to shout it. The Great Hall went silent, all eyes on him. "Potter, Weasley - partner Miss Granger. Get back to work, all of you!"

Severus sat behind his desk later that night, elbows on his knees, head in his hands. He wondered how he was going to make it through this year, through all of them, really, with the knowledge that there was someone to whom his magic called out. He didn't feel very different. It wasn't like he was drawn to her in any way. She was still more annoying than the average student. And much more intelligent, his mind added traitorously. He wasn't attracted to her. But he kept waiting for something to change - besides his bizarre new mental state, he thought wryly. Begrudgingly, he got up and made his way up to the Headmaster's office and knocked.

"Enter," Dumbledore intoned.

Severus entered the room, breathing deeply. He stopped to stroke Fawkes' feathers, stalling for time.

"Severus, what a pleasant surprise. I heard your day was eventful."

Severus looked up, gave Fawkes one last stroke and then made his way to the chair in front of Dumbledore's desk, like a man walking to the gallows.

Dumbledore chuckled. "It can't be all that bad. So you yelled at Miss Granger. You did that every week, I supposed. I also heard," he paused, "that you cushioned the entire Great Hall. An amazing feat of magic. And all for the students' safety. Pardon the pun, Severus, but I believe you might be going soft." Dumbledore chuckled again at his own joke.

Severus scowled at Dumbledore, but was inwardly pleased to be recognized for his magical power. In a day when people believed the only powerful people were Dumbledore and Voldemort, it was nice to be seen. "I don't understand what Sequitur Simul does," Severus said without preamble. "I don't know what I'm supposed to feel."

"It's not a spell. It's simply magic. And Magic doesn't tell people what to feel, Severus. You know that. There's no magic to make people really love each other or hate each other. It is crucial that you know this before," and Dumbledore left his sentence unfinished, looking down at his hand.

"But my magic is supposedly calling out to Miss Granger's. What does that mean?"

"Who knows?" Dumbledore answered.

Severus closed his eyes. To be having this conversation with the person closest to a father he had was humiliating. "I am not attracted to her," Severus confessed.

"She is still a student, Severus," Dumbledore warned.

Severus looked up quickly. "Not like that. I would never," Severus spluttered.

Dumbledore nodded and gestured for him to continue.

"It's just that I thought I would feel differently toward her, and I don't. I have this knowledge that I'm not supposed to have and it's driving me mad."

"Do you think magic likes a certain hair color in women? Or thinks taller men are more handsome?"

Severus rolled his eyes.

"Exactly. You said last June that your magic is you. It is not your outward features. Nor is it even your intelligence, I don't think. But I'm not sure on that account. It's what makes you, you as a wizard. And it is what makes Miss Granger, Miss Granger as a witch. Who knows how long it takes to see that in a person? I'm sorry, Severus, but this is not a shortcut to getting to know someone. Or," he paused, "letting someone know the real you. Which, I am sad to say, will be the far greater challenge for you. But the magic does seem to indicate that if you ever got that far, you would like what you saw. I must also caution you: other people could see the real Miss Granger - or the real you - and like what they see, magic or no magic."

It made sense, he mused, walking back to the dungeon. This was not a stupid cheering charm that had instant results but faded. Not a love potion that gave instant infatuation but also faded. This was a glimpse into what could be. Now Severus knew what Dumbledore was trying to explain to him last June: he was in the driver's seat. He was the only one with the knowledge and he could let it go, or he could do something. And it meant that he couldn't hex Miss Granger. But maybe next time when he was presented with that option he didn't need to yell. It also meant that the dunderheads her own age would probably see the real Miss Granger before he got a chance and all of this would be a moot point. Or he would not outlive the war and it would be a moot point. Or, and this thought caused a sadness that he knew was from his magic deep within, she might not outlive the war.


	4. May 1997

**Author's Note: Another chapter for your reading pleasure. Have a great night!**

**May 1997 6th year**

Severus walked down from the Great Hall after dinner to find a solitary figure waiting for him outside his office. As he hadn't assigned near as much detention this year as DADA teacher, Potter's months of Saturday detentions notwithstanding, the sight was surprising. What surprised him more was when he got close enough to see that it was Miss Granger.

She turned at the sound of his footsteps, but waited until he was closer before she began to speak. "Good evening, Professor Snape. I have some questions regarding homework."

Severus rolled his eyes as he walked and unwarded his office door and ushered her inside his office. Walking around to his side of the desk, he lit the fire.

Once she was seated across from him, he waited a moment to see if she would start talking about whatever was on her mind, which he knew for a fact wasn't homework. He wasn't surprised when she opened her mouth to begin talking, but he was incredibly surprised when what came out of her mouth was a spell.

"Muffliato," Hermione spoke in a casual practiced way that made Severus narrow his eyes at her in response. "It makes sure that people can't over-" she began, but he cut her off.

"I know exactly what that spell does, Miss Granger."

Hermione blushed in response but did not offer any more information about the spell.

"Why are you here? We both know it has nothing to do with homework."

"I need your help learning wards."

"Wards? What about them?"

"I need to ward my parents' home against the Death Eaters," she said, looking him directly in the eye.

Severus looked at Miss Granger and decided that the truth was generally preferable to lies and that she could handle it. This was the young woman, he reminded himself, that gave Madame Umbridge to the Centaurs last year. "There are no wards that will keep the Death Eaters out."

"The wards of Hogwarts," she began, but he cut her off.

"The ward of Hogwarts are ancient, more powerful than you could ever imagine - "

"Well maybe not that exact ward, but that's what I need - "

Severus cut her off again, this time with his hand. "And the Death Eaters will eventually get through even the Hogwarts wards if there comes a day when they want Hogwarts." This statement brought her to silence.

Severus leaned back in his chair and rubbed his top lip. "Just out of curiosity, why are you in my office today instead of the Headmaster's or Professor Flitwick's? Charms are his expertise." He was genuinely curious of the answer.

"Professor Dumbledore is not here very much, as you well know. And wards are not dark magic," she hesitated and her brow furrowed a bit. "But they are not light. Professor Flitwick is brilliant, but I don't think he is well versed in the Dark Arts."

"And I am a dark wizard?" His voice was low but not angered.

She stared at him. "No, you are not dark. But you understand the darkness."

"You know what I am, Miss Granger."

"I know who you are now, I think. Which isn't quite the same."

The difference between talking to Miss Granger and talking to Potter, ironically in this same office, could not be overstated. She understood nuance. If only Dumbledore had asked him to teach her Occlumency. She would have understood. But as much as she thought she knew him, he wanted to hear it from her. "Why, Miss Granger, do you trust me?" Even as he asked it, he expected that patented answer, "Because Dumbledore trusts you." That answer was never enough for him. And he knew that after what Dumbledore asked of him to do one day, that answer would cease to be enough for the entire wizarding world.

"Eight potions," she said, baldly.

He did not let his confusion, or his hope that someone understood him, show. "Explain."

She took a deep breath. "Anything that needs eight potions should have killed me." At this point she looked away slightly. "And I didn't take the last vials of my potions."

"What?" he asked, rising to his feet. He placed his hands on his desk and he leaned and looked down at her.

"I'm fine," she reassured him, standing to meet his height. Or as much as she could, seeing she was more than a full head shorter. "I knew the minute the curse left me. It was about dose seven. I took doses eight and nine like a good patient, but I kept the tenth dose of all of the potions and hid them."

"Why would you do such a thing, Miss Granger? And it better be a good explanation." He sat down in the chair and pinched the bridge of his nose. He felt, rather then saw her sit back down.

"Well, you see, I asked Madame Pomfrey what the potions were that had healed me. She could name a few of them: blood replenisher and the like. Standard stuff. But she confided in me that she really didn't know what the other potions did. She said they were to heal my insides and expel the curse. She didn't even know the names of the potions. I knew they worked, obviously, but she wasn't going to be able to help me understand what they did. You knew, of course, but I doubted you would talk to me about them."

"How do you know I brewed them, as opposed to St. Mungo's?"

She rolled her eyes at this and ignored the question. "So I took the hidden vials and I reversed them this year, just like Professor Slughorn taught us to do."

"That spell is for poisons."

"Not really. I mean, yes, it is, but it can also be used for other potions. Potions that are dark. See? It's all about intent. Not that your potions had dark intent, but your potions understood dark intent. So the revealer spell worked."

He took a moment to marvel at her. As much as he had hated reading her overlong essays, her ability to research and extrapolate information was incredible. "What does this have to do with trusting me?" He thought he knew, but he wanted to hear her reasoning.

"I should have died. Another hour without blood replenisher, one less healing potion, one less expelling potion, one potion out of order from the other ones. It would have been so easy to let me die. You could have slaved away at six potions, seven even. It would have looked like a heroic effort. A heroic effort that St. Mungo's could never have even dared to duplicate. If He-who-must-not-be-named knew the effort you underwent to save me," she stopped and shook her head. "I trust you with my life because I already have."

"I will help you, Miss Granger," he heard the words come out of his mouth before he had even formed them in his head.

She put her head in her hands. She lifted her head, looked at him once more and said, "Thank you."

"But it will not be wards."

She nodded at this proclamation.

"It will have to be memory modification."

"Sir?" she asked, with a slight note of alarm.

"If you want to truly hide someone, you have to hide them from themselves. Erase them. Erase yourself from them. Send them away."

Hermione frowned at him. "You've given this a lot of thought."

Severus looked down. "There was a time when I wanted to hide someone from the Dark Lord. But there is no hiding from the Dark Lord. They would have to be erased and taught to start a new life somewhere else." He paused. "You mentioned that wards are grey, Miss Granger. What you are wanting to do with your parents - keep them safe, no matter what - are you willing for the answer to be grey? You will be taking a choice away from them. A choice to know their daughter, even if that means dying or watching her die. I will caution you that most parents would choose to remain, not to go off into hiding."

"I know. But that's irrational. This is not their fight; it's not their world. It's not their fault that my best friend is Harry Potter and they shouldn't have to give up their lives."

"But what about giving up their daughter?"

"Well, would it be temporary? If He-who-must-not-be-named was no longer around, would we be able to restore their memories of me?"

"Yes." He paused. "If you lived, and if the Dark Lord were defeated. If you were able to find them. And then the worst 'if': if they wanted to know you after they found out what you did to them."

Hermione's eyes filled with tears, but she did not cry. "I understand. Can I have some time to think about it?"

"I suggest you think long and hard about it, Miss Granger."

Hermione nodded and rose. "Thank you, Professor Snape."

Severus navigated to her side of the desk and then took out his wand and tapped Miss Granger's head, disillusioning her. "It is not wise for you to be in the dungeons alone at night. Remove the charm when you reach the Entry Hall. You know how to remove it?"

"Yes, sir. Goodnight."

Severus led her to the classroom and opened the door and stepped out, making sure that the coast was clear. He glanced the tell-tale shimmer at the end of the corridor and then he went back inside and shut the door. He then walked through his office into his living quarters. He immediately sat down in the colder room, and after a moment, he shuddered, but not from cold. He sighed and then lit the fire in his sitting room.

"What did those infernal students do now?" The voice came, as Severus knew, from a small frame near the mantel. It was often empty, but was currently occupied by a former Slytherin Headmaster of Hogwarts.

"Not students," Severus corrected. "Student. Miss Granger."

"Ahh. The Simul girl," Phineas drawled. "Still as clueless as ever?"

"Yes," Severus answered slowly. "The one thing she's clueless about. And so very intelligent in every other way."

"What did she want from you?"

"Knowledge. Help."

"And are you going to help her?" Phineas asked, curious.

Severus sighed. "I will if she will let me."

"Why would she not let you? Didn't she ask you? It's her idea."

"It's her idea. But you know what I've been asked to do, Phineas. It will make me slightly less trustworthy to other people, don't you imagine?"

"Damn Albus to hell," responded Phineas. "I don't care about the Simul girl or any damned supposed connection. But how are you supposed to live a life, become Headmaster of Hogwarts, influence the Ministry if he continues on this bizarre path of having you murder him?"

"I don't think my influence on the Ministry is on the forefront of his mind, Phineas. I think winning a war takes up the majority of his mind right now."

"But you must think about your future! You are the first Slytherin in 70 years that could be Headmaster. You must live through this war with your reputation intact!"

"Enough, Phineas. Winning the war and living through it are quite enough goals for me at the moment." And Hermione, his traitorous mind added. Living through the war was actually a quite recent goal. When the Dark Lord returned two years ago, he knew his odds were long to live through the war, and he accepted it. Now, however, he wanted to live to see his life played out. A fictional future had been slowly developing in his mind. A fictional future that was a damn sight nicer than his past.


	5. July 1997 - May 1998

**Author's Note: Nice long chapter to get us through The Battle of Hogwarts. Post-War begins next chapter. Enjoy!**

**June 1997 6th year**

The knock was so slight on Severus's office door that he was wondering if he had imagined it. He moved to open the door when the door opened and quickly closed of its own accord. The shimmer told him that someone was disillusioned. He watched as Hermione appeared from the head down.

"Miss Granger."

"Good evening, Professor. I need help with my homework," Hermione deadpanned.

The corner of Severus's lip upturned as he turned his back to her to make his way to his desk, lighting the fire as he went.

Hermione sat and then recast the Muffliato spell as she did two weeks before. Severus raised one eyebrow and waited for her to speak.

"If you are still offering, I would like to take you up on your offer to hide my parents," she began, in what seemed a very well-rehearsed manner.

"Try again, Miss Granger. If you cannot even say the words out loud, you won't be able to do it when the time comes."

Hermione breathed in slowly. "I would like you to modify my parents' memories to remove them from danger, and to remove memories of me from them."

"Better," replied Severus. "I think you are very brave, Miss Granger," he conceded. Again, it seemed that his mouth was outpacing his brain. If she was surprised by his demeanor, she didn't show it. Merlin, how he wanted to know her thoughts. But that was for another time, in a fictional future that depended on both of them living through the war.

"When?"

"This summer, you will make preparations to send them somewhere far from England," he began.

"Australia," she said definitively. "They've always wanted to go to Australia."

Severus thought for a moment. "Further than they need to go, I would say, but sufficiently far from the war."

"It will need to be mid-July. Can you do that? I'm expected at the Burrow the third week of July to attend Bill and Fleur's wedding."

Severus narrowed his eyes. "And after the wedding?"

Hermione shook her head slowly in response, but never dropped her eye contact with him.

Severus raked his hand through his hair and nodded. "I will meet you in the cafe inside King's Cross by Platform 9 3/4 on July 18 at 9:00 p.m. You will take me to your parents and I will modify their memories and help you send them into hiding. Do you know the cafe?"

Hermione nodded, looking pale. "I can't thank you enough," Hermione began, but Severus cut her off.

"If you do not meet me there, I will assume you have changed your mind. I will not hold it against you, Miss Granger."

Hermione looked confused. "Why would I," but was once again cut off as Severus stood and walked around to her side of the desk.

He tapped her on the head to disillusion her. "Goodnight, Miss Granger."

**July 1997 6th year**

Severus sat in the cafe 15 minutes earlier than he had told Hermione to arrive. He sat with an untouched cup of coffee and faced the door, his emotions swirling and his heart race increasing every time a woman with brown hair walked into his line of sight. If she walked through that door, he would be both happy and upset at her. But she wouldn't come. She was too intelligent to take such risks. Harry Potter's friend and confidant risking everything, risking an entire war to meet with Dumbledore's killer?

At 9:05, just as Severus was about to leave, she opened the door, looked at him and painstakingly made her way to the booth, sliding into the side across from him slowly, one hand hidden within her jacket, looking at Severus' hands - both of which were within view holding his coffee cup. Her motions mirrored Severus' emotions since Dumbledore's death. Every motion weighed and re-weighed. Every thought run through a dozen different scenarios. He knew that his careworn face mirrored her own at that moment.

"Why?" She asked.

He simply shook his head, just as she had when he asked last month what she had been asked to do by Dumbledore.

She nodded and stood and waited for him to stand. He dropped a few pounds on the table and followed her out of the cafe and out of the train station. They didn't speak as they walked a block to an alley. She stopped and slowly turned to face him. She held out her hand.

They landed in a secluded area and walked a short distance to her house. Severus looked like a man being led to his gallows, but there was a spark of hope in his body that he thought had been extinguished forever on June 30th. They entered Hermione's home and he heard a woman call from the kitchen. The next 10 minutes were a blur of watching Hermione lie to her parents and watching her cry as he modified their memories. He wanted to comfort her. He wanted to lie to her as she had to her parents and tell her that it was going to be ok. But the precariousness of their situation was grave; the bridge of trust between them was as thin as a spider's silk. He treated her with as much respect as he could by allowing her space and brevity.

When Hermione nodded that she understood that he had done everything that was needed, he left without saying goodbye and heard her whispered thanks as she closed the door behind him.

Later that night, he marveled yet again that she came and trusted her parents' lives to him. He wondered if it was Sequitur Simul that allowed her to trust him, even a minuscule amount. Having one person in this world who was willing to entertain that maybe not everything was as it seemed was a balm to his soul. In that moment, it was not the Sequitur Simul that wouldn't allow him to hurt Hermione. It was his own fierce protection of someone whom he knew was on his side. His ally. His friend.

**December 1997**

Severus gasped audibly as he heard the sound of Harry Potter's hand beat the underside of the frozen ice covering the pond. Just as he was about to ruin the whole mission and jump into the water to save Harry, he heard pounding footsteps. Severus held on to the tree trunk in front of him in surprise as Ron Weasley came out of nowhere, threw his rucksack aside and jumped into the pond. Severus kept up an internal mantra that included much swearing and felt like it lasted hours until Ron drug Harry out of the pond and deposited him on the leaf-strewn floor of the forest. He let out a shaky breath and rested his forehead on the tree trunk as both boys wretched and coughed. He looked to make sure that one of them had the sword. Conversation started between the boys and it looked like it was going to be a heated discussion, which suited his plans perfectly. He retreated slowly and made his way back to the tent.

Once he found the tent, he stood outside, hesitating. "Such stupidity," he repeated to himself mentally for the thousandth time. He had just seen how this war was about choices made in split seconds, about how easily their plan to defeat Voldemort could unravel at their fingertips. And yet he stood there at the boundary of her magic. Magic that knew him. Just one step and he could feel her magic again. Neither of them would get hurt. Neither of them _could_ get hurt. He stepped through the ward and closed his eyes as her magic washed over him. He stood there breathing in her magic, wishing he could stay here and never return to the Headmaster's office again.

"Harry?" Hermione's panicked voice from within the tent startled him.

He stood still as he watched her emerge from the mouth of the tent cautiously. He didn't move, didn't breathe. He watched as Hermione's face emerged from the side of the tent, silent as a church mouse taking in as much information as she could with her eyes and ears. Something was wrong. Where was her wand? _Shit. _For the second time today he had the thought that he had severely misjudged the situation and put everyone at risk. He decided that his best course of action was to stay still, pray that his disillusionment charm was perfect, and wait for Harry to come back and breach the wards once more. Looking at her was at once pain and pleasure. She was still alive. Her magic still knew him. But she looked horrible. He could hardly look any better. He wondered if anyone in the wizarding world slept anymore. But she was alive. She had made it this far. She had escaped from Voldemort and he let himself relax for a moment and feel a moment of pride that he had taught her. That he had been useful to her. That he had saved her life years ago. That like called to like. And in that moment he knew that her magic was powerful like his, beautiful like his and he understood Dumbledore's words about the Sequitur Simul: it was not a curse.

The spell was broken as he heard again the lumbering footsteps of Harry, followed by Ron. How they had not been captured already was a miracle, he thought, rolling his eyes. He waited for the exact moment, and when Harry stepped through the wards calling out for Hermione, Severus stepped out.

Harry's obvious exuberance fizzled almost at once as Hermione stepped fully out of the tent and started venting her spleen on every male she could see. Severus' eyes mimicked Harry's and went wide at her anger. Wishing to stay longer, but knowing better, he cautiously moved from their area, making as little noise as possible, though that caution was unnecessary as the three youths were making enough noise to make birds in the trees take flight. He surprised himself when his lips curled into a smile at Hermione's anger toward the boys. He didn't remember the last time he had smiled.

**May 1998**

Severus floated in and out of consciousness, the pain almost unbearable. The conflicted looks on the faces of Harry, Ron and Hermione were etched in his brain as he closed his eyes for the last time. His hands were still on his neck, staunching the flow of blood, but they were beginning to slide down. He had heard them leaving, but he was still hearing something as he felt fingers take his own fingers from his wound.

"Oh shit. No, think, Hermione. Accio Dittany!"

He heard the sound of glass hitting flesh and opened an eye enough to see Hermione unstopper the vial. He moved his fingers back to his wound.

"No, don't, no, let me see it. My fingers are shaking so bad. Oh my god," she put his hand into his lap and poured dittany over the wound. He willed himself to stay present with Hermione until he died. "Accio Potion bag!" This summoned something rather larger than one vial. Hermione grabbed his jaw and opened it, pouring a potion into his mouth. Blood replenisher. He heard the glass tinkle as it hit the ground. Poison antidote; useless, but he did not blame her effort. Pain reliever. Calming draught.

"Can you hear me, Professor?" She grabbed his hand and squeezed it painfully. "If I stupefy you, I think it will slow down your heart rate. You've lost so much blood. I don't have enough blood replenisher. I'm coming back for you. God, I'm so sorry to do this. Stupify!"

Severus felt her magic wash over him and felt a moment of peace before Hermione's panicky voice rent the quiet once more. "What? It didn't… Dammit!"

He looked at her shocked face looking back at him. "Go, Hermione."

Hermione swiped at the tears making tracks down her grime-covered face. "I'm coming back. I have to help Harry. I have to help Harry. I'm… I'm coming back." He felt her push the fingers limp in his lap around his wand.

He heard her leave and took stock of his body. Calming draft wasn't going to save his life, but it allowed him to calm down and think. So maybe it would save his life after all. The dittany closed the wound, but the venom was bound to open it back up eventually. It was all a waiting game now. He decided to close his eyes. He found himself alternating between weakness that was indistinguishable from sleep and moments of lucidity. During the moments of lucidity, he heard Voldemort's voice. He wondered if maybe he was hallucinating. He willed Hermione to come back for him before it was too late. That thought, had it not been for the calming draft, might have shocked him. But she had been his talisman for ten months - ever since she had walked into the cafe gripping her wand tightly in one hand and doubt of his guilt in the other hand. The spark of hope she ignited had not gone out, nor was he ready for it to go out.

The sounds of Professor McGonagall gasping and Hermione gripping his hand saying, "Professor, professor, don't be…" woke him up. He opened his eyes slightly and heard Hermione say, "Oh, thank God." The next few minutes were filled with the stirrings of a different magic. Stronger, less friendly magic. Minerva, ever the consummate fixer, started using her prodigious skill and decades of stony-faced calm in the face of misused magic to stabilize him further.

"We've got to get him to the Infirmary," he heard Minerva tell Hermione. "I will go ahead of you and make sure it is safe. There's too much confusion to assume anything right now. Wait two minutes and apparate just outside the doors to the infirmary. Do you understand Miss Granger?"

"Yes, Professor." Severus was pleased to hear that her voice sounded stronger.

Minerva apparated away and Hermione moved closer to him and looked into his eyes.

He tried to form the word, "Voldemort?" but it did not come out.

"Dead," she answered. "He's gone. And Harry lived. It's over." Tears were leaking from her eyes, but she was not shaking.

He closed his eyes and nodded. If he died, at least she would live freely.

She started maneuvering him into position to apparate. She put his arm over her shoulder, her other arm around his waist and started lifting him. He put as much effort as he had left into putting weight onto his legs and helping her. Before he was even all the way upright, however, he heard a small crack and suddenly he was being lowered back onto the ground. He heard the doors to the Infirmary open and Minerva and Madame Pomfrey were surrounding him, lifting him and he was soon deposited onto an infirmary bed. He felt the all-too-familiar magic of Madame Pomfrey wash over his body.

"Gods, Severus. Not you, too. Miss Granger! Go to my storeroom immediately, I need Blood Replenisher potion and anti-venom, green bottle. Go, girl!" He heard Hermione's feet running the other way and then felt Madame Pomfrey's magic knitting together his neck again. "That damn evil snake. Good riddance. Miss Granger, now!" Seconds later, potions were being forced down his throat. "Where's Minerva?"

"She's gone back to the Great Hall," answered Hermione.

"He needs Blood Replenisher again in fifteen minutes and let me know immediately if his neck begins bleeding again. I've got to go help other patients."

"Yes, Madame Pomfrey."

The confusing sounds of too many people in a room shouting indiscriminate questions and orders surrounded him. He felt a hand tighten around his own. What seemed like only seconds later, another blood replenisher potion was given to him, choking him.

"I'm so sorry," Hermione said, her arm around his back lifting him slightly as he coughed. She gently lowered him back down. "He's coughing. That's a good sign," she said to no one in particular.

The next time he awoke, he was alone, and the Infirmary was quiet and dark. Madame Pomfrey was never one for chaos. He took in a deep breath and coughed, rousing someone in a chair that he had not noticed.

"Severus," croaked Minerva, battle weary and older than she had ever seemed.

"Go to bed, Minerva," Severus said, bringing up another cough. "I'll live without you babysitting me." There was no heat in his voice.

Minerva stood. "Severus," she began, gripping his hand.

"Don't," Severus cut across her. "Not now. We'll talk later." He paused. "Thank you, Minerva."

She squeezed his hand. "I'll be back in the morning. Madame Pomfrey says you're healing well." Minerva in professor mode was a comfort. He squeezed her hand and she let go and left the room.

In that moment, Severus didn't know much, but he knew living through the war, while advantageous in many ways, was going to be tiresome in the near future. Tomorrow, the questions would come. Questions that he had answers to, and some questions that had no answers. While he didn't fear retribution from the Order, he did fear some retribution from the Ministry, the Hogwarts governors, Death Eaters. Merlin, dying would have been easier. He sat there with his divergent thoughts. "The truth is generally preferable to lies." He could hear Dumbledore's words in his ears as if the old man was sitting at the foot of his bed. What was truth to a spy? But he wasn't a spy anymore. He had been fired from that job, he assumed. He chuckled at his own joke, which made him cough again. He could hear his voice strengthening, so that was good. Truth. Who could handle the truth, and who could not? Minerva could handle the truth. Hermione could handle the truth. Of course she was his second thought. No one else mattered. If Minerva's presence at his bedside was any indication, he'd have a job and a home. Minerva was blood. Fifteen years of teaching alongside Minerva and sparring with her had cemented their friendship. This last year without her to talk to was misery, but she was back. Hermione never left, never cut that tremulous thread of trust, even though it dangled over him this past year as if Hermione was a Fate, holding his life in the balance. Did the Sequitur Simul know that she would be the one to save his life?

As he drifted back off to sleep, he heard Dumbledore's words again, spoken to him so many times as they spoke of real things, not of spying and Dark Lords, but of core issues: "The truth is generally preferable to lies." And he made a choice in that moment that he would tell people the truth, let them judge him as they may, and go on with his life.


	6. June 1998

**Author's Note: One reviewer reminded me that Hermione with Ron is the worst match ever. Can't let that happen, now can we? But you'll have to be patient. Enjoy!**

**June 1998**

Severus' decision to tell the truth and let the chips fall where they may was severely tested over the following two weeks. The next day started with a talk alone with Minerva, punctuated by Madame Pomfrey continuing a regiment of anti-venom and Blood Replenisher potions. "Very fortunate, young man, very fortunate," was a constant refrain the next day as she checked his vitals. She, too, was back to business, as was Minerva. This was a benefit - women who had been through war before were the embodiment of "Keep Calm and Carry On." They most likely fell apart at night when they were alone, but not in front of people who needed them.

"Where are the other patients?" He began as Minerva sat down.

"St. Mungo's. They were all transferred last night except for you. Everyone well enough to go home has been sent back to their homes. Madame Pomfrey, Filius, Madame Pince, Argus, Sybil and I are the only ones in the castle right now. Repairs will start once the funerals are over. No one will be any use to anyone until they start the grieving and healing process." The fact that grief always begins but never completely ends was left unsaid.

Severus nodded. "The Ministry?"

"In shambles. The Wizengamot is practically living at the Ministry trying to put an emergency government in place. There are a few high ranking officials that weren't killed and had never been put under the Imperius curse. It's deja vu from the end of the first war."

"Mr. Potter and his friends?"

"They are at the Burrow with Molly and Arthur. If I thought I could hide them here are Hogwarts away from the Ministry, the Daily Prophet and countless others, I would. Molly and Arthur will look after them. They've faced worse than bureaucrats and reporters."

Severus nodded and sighed. "Your turn for questions."

Starting with listening at the door of the Hog's Head, continuing to Peter Petigrew's betrayal and all the way to Dumbledore's withered hand, he filled in all of her blanks about his role in the war. He told her of the sword of Gryffindor and the Elder wand. She was a very good listener; her lips thinned when he told of Dumbledore telling Severus that Harry must die and gasped when he told her of the Unbreakable Vow to protect Draco and convince Bellatrix of his true allegiance. That one earned him a "Foolish man!"

She filled him in with the events that she knew of from the battle. From Parkinson's desire to hand over Harry Potter, with a commentary from both of them that Pansy was just like her "wretched mother", to Neville cutting off Nagini's head, she gave him every detail. She listed the dead for him, dabbing her eyes with a tartan handkerchief a couple of times.

"I'm sorry," he began, but was cut off.

"The things that we did, we did because of a war. We did those things fighting on the same side. Let those things be buried with our dead."

Severus nodded, grateful. "What now?"

"I have no idea. We'll meet things one at a time. You will be in here for another week or so to heal. Is there anything you can do about the scars on your neck? Didn't you make a potion two years ago for Miss Granger's scars that worked reasonably well?"

Severus searched her eyes to see if she knew anything about that fateful time when he learned of the Sequitur Simul. It seemed she didn't. "Yes, but I'm not sure it will work. It is probably worth brewing a batch to see."

Minerva looked at him, still prone on the hospital bed. "It is the Headmaster's duty to,"

"I am not Headmaster of Hogwarts. Any thing that madman did will be undone. You will be Headmistress. You were always meant to follow Dumbledore. I am meant to follow you. We both know that is the truth, so let's not squabble. Do what needs to be done, Minerva. When I am better, I will fall in line behind you and help you repair the castle."

"Will you teach?"

"Hogwarts is my home. I will teach."

"What subject? Defense?"

Severus knew this question would come and was ready with an answer. "Potions." He paused. "Though I hope you can find someone better for Defense than the buffoons Dumbledore hired."

Minerva rolled her eyes at Severus. "Lofty goals. I'll see what I can do." She smiled at him. "Get some rest, Severus. The castle is a poor sight. It will take all of our best efforts to right her in time."

Three days later, he was visited by Kingsley Shacklebolt and another auror named Holt. He was questioned about every offense he seemingly committed during the war. They took copious notes. Minerva didn't leave the room while the aurors questioned him, and chastised Holt for asking an unseemly question about if Severus tortured any students.

After the questions were answered, Kingsley dismissed his fellow auror to wait outside. Holt gave Kingsley a grudging nod, loped out of the Infirmary and closed the doors.

"What do you know, Kingsley?" Minerva asked.

"The name of the game at the Ministry is speed. They are working around the clock to get everything tidied up into neat boxes so that they can put the Voldemort era on a shelf to get dusty. Everyone knows that Severus was working for Dumbledore. Harry's word is gold right now, and he gave Severus' memories to the Wizengamot and high ranking ministry officials along with hours of testimony yesterday. He was able to pretty clearly identify who was working for Voldemort, who was clearly on the side of the light, and he also threw a bone to the Malfoys, who turned out to be instrumental to the victory."

Minerva scoffed, but allowed Kingsley to continue.

"Everything that we just took down from Severus lines up perfectly with the testimony that Harry gave."

"Of course it does," said Minerva protectively.

Kingsley nodded. "So my thought is that they will not bring any charges against Severus. They have also heard testimony from Neville Longbottom, Ginny Weasley, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger, Arthur, Molly and of course your testimony, Minerva. They also interviewed the Malfoys. Those are the ones I know of. A new minister will be named tomorrow. I don't know who," he answered to Severus' and Minerva's questioning looks. "The main goal of the minister will be to present a road map for going forward including who will be put on trial. He will also name a few other cabinet members to replace ones that worked with Voldemort. I'll be giving my report to them today." He stood and looked at Severus, holding out his hand. "I'm sorry for everything you went through, Severus."

Severus shook his hand and nodded. "Thank you, Kingsley."

Kingsley looked at Minerva. "I'll get word to you as quickly as possible if anything reaches my ears."

"Thank you, Kingsley."

Kingsley strode from the Infirmary. "Well," started Minerva, "that's that. Now, we wait."

"Are you in touch with the Order?" asked Severus.

"What's left of it, yes. I'm letting Arthur know everything I know, and a few others." She paused. "Harry wants to talk to you, but is waiting for me to let him know that you are willing to talk to him."

Severus nodded. "Give me a few more days, Minerva. He is going to want more details than these aurors did."

Minerva chuckled. "He's grown, Severus. They all have. War does that to people. I'll let them know that they can come in a few days. The funeral for Fred Weasley is tomorrow. That will give them time to be with family and mend for a few more days."

"Who is 'they'?" Severus asked, knowing the answer.

"Well, I assume Ronald Weasley and Hermione Granger will be with him. They are joined at the hip. No one talks to Harry without those two by his side. I imagine it will be so for quite some time. Should I try to encourage Harry to come alone?"

"No. Better to get it all over with at once."

Minerva stood. "Probably for the best. You weren't getting out of here without a visit from Miss Granger, I dare say."

"Thank you, Minerva."

Professor McGonagall took that as the dismissal that it was. "I'll see you tomorrow, Severus."

The following Tuesday, he heard voices in the Infirmary and knew that the day had arrived. A few moments later, Harry, Ron and Hermione came around his privacy curtains, eyes assessing everything from his health to the reading material on his bedside table, to the Quidditch pitch just visible from the window.

"Hello, Professor Snape." It was Hermione who spoke first.

He nodded in response and the other two echoed their hellos.

He watched as Hermione took out her wand and conjured two chairs that matched exactly the one beside his bed. All three took a seat by his bedside.

To his astonishment, it was Ronald who spoke first. "Thank you for saving our lives," he started. The heads of the other two nodded in agreement. "I'm not sure how any of us made it through this last year, with all that we went through, but I don't know how you kept it together. You saved my sister from the Carrows. Thank you. And my parents send their best, but they can't come right now. You know…". Hermione reached out and put her hand on top of Ron's.

"Thank you. I'm sorry about Fred. And George's ear," he began, but Ron cut him off.

"We know."

Harry, sensing Ron was done, took a breath and dove in. "Can I ask you questions about my parents, about my mum? I mean," he looked at Hermione, who was looking at him like he was an idiot, "not right now! I was just wondering if I could write to you. I've just seen them. Well, not really. Do you know about the Resurrection Stone, Professor?" Hermione continued to goggle at Harry. "I know, Hermione. I'm doing this all wrong. I just, when I see him, I want to know about my mum."

Hermione looked at Severus. "Professor, you must have questions for us. We know that Dumbledore kept information from you."

Ron laughed and said something under his breath that sounded like, "Everyone, more like."

"What do you want to know? What information are you missing? We obviously have questions for you as well. But we thought," at this she shot another look at Harry, "we'd give you the opportunity to fill in the gaps first."

Severus looked at the three people in front of him, so unlike the sixth year students that were in his Defense class. From what he heard, they could now teach it with their hands tied behind their backs. He did want to hear the stories. He did want to know the truth, what Dumbledore couldn't trust him with, what happened to Harry. And he wanted to hear what happened to Hermione.

"It seems that Madame Pomfrey will not let me out of this bed, therefore it happens that sitting here and listening to a few stories is just what the Matron ordered. Start with your sixth year, if you would, Mr. Potter, and we'll see how far we get today."

All three of them perked up, he assumed because he was not yelling at them for a change, and Harry began telling him the stories of Dumbledore taking him on the hunt for Horcruxes. Thirty minutes into their tale, Severus inhaled slightly when they told him of Slughorn's memory. Thank Merlin he was taking that oaf's place as Potions Master once more. He would use this year to rebuild the noble house of Slytherin, the correct way this time. As they moved on to their seventh year camping trip, he couldn't believe what they had seen, what they had faced.

"I screwed up and said the tabooed name. Snatchers captured us and took us to Malfoy Manner because they suspected I was Harry Potter."

At Severus' raised eyebrow, Hermione said, "I cast a stinging hex and made his face blow up like a balloon to try to disguise him."

"Hurt like hell," Harry added.

"Draco," Ron began, "he knew it was us, but he wouldn't say it was us for sure. They took us down to the basement and kept Hermione for questioning before summoning Voldemort. They tortured her."

A fierce pain of which he had never felt rose up in him. He knew, of course, that they had been taken to Malfoy Manner and had somehow escaped. But this information was new. They would be killed. Whoever it was that did this would be killed. "Who?" he asked darkly.

Harry answered quickly. "Bellatrix. She would be dead by now if Molly hadn't already taken care of that."

Harry's and Ron's looks of utter hatred could only be mirrored on his own face.

Severus nodded sharply. "Continue." He relaxed his hands, which had balled into fists of their own accord.

The rest of the story he had heard through various channels: words from various Death Eaters while it was happening, Minerva afterwards. While it had only been weeks ago, he felt like he had lived years. He could only assume they felt the same way.

Severus decided to lighten the conversation. "I would give you house points, but it's summer."

Harry laughed, but Ron scoffed. "Sure you would, Professor."

"They know, by the way." It was Hermione's voice, somewhat diminished.

Severus' heart raced at the thought of the Sequitur Simul, but he kept his wits about him and his face was impassive.

"They know that you modified my parents' memories."

Severus nodded and inwardly relaxed. He looked at Harry and Ron. "That must have been quite a shock."

Harry shrugged wearily. "It's hard to be shocked after you've seen a snake come out of a dead woman's body. We've lived in a constant state of shock for over a year. Dumbledore could walk through that door and I don't think it would do much to me, to be honest."

"That's probably not healthy, Harry," chastised Hermione. "I'm hoping we'll get back to normal in a while," she addressed to Severus.

"Hermione has always been the smartest," Ron explained. "And she's also the one who breaks the most rules."

Hermione gasped. "Ron! You and Harry," she spluttered.

"Going to tell him who stole the boomslang, Hermione?" Ron asked, smiling. Hermione's face went scarlet.

"Anyway," Ron continued. "She was right in the end, wasn't she?"

"And she was smart enough not to tell us until it was all over," Harry added wryly.

"You know what to do?" he asked her, looking into her eyes to assess the truth.

"Yes," Hermione nodded. "Harry and Ron are going to go with me in a few weeks once the Ministry can -"

"Find its arse with a flashlight," interjected Ron helpfully.

"I was going to say issue an international portkey," supplied Hermione. "But yes, that too."

Words like, "Good luck," or "I would like to be there to make sure," or "Tell me the steps in the exact order," died on his tongue as the three of them sat before him. He knew Hermione. He knew that she would make damn sure she was ready. If she hadn't already snuck into the Infirmary to ask him questions, she was ready. "I believe their memories will come back, Miss Granger, but there is always a chance that they won't, especially when almost a year has passed."

The truth was generally preferable to lies.


	7. August 1998

**Author's Note: This chapter has the scene that started this whole fanfic (it's the last third of this chapter). I was jogging, imagined this one scene, and then the main plot came later. So it's quite fun for me to publish this chapter. Enjoy!**

**August 1998**

Severus caught a glimpse of Hermione one month later as she visited the castle to help with repairs. He let her go about her business without stopping to talk to her. The question of "what now?" was forever in his mind. The Simul Sequitur indicated that her magic called to his magic. But Dumbledore said there were no shortcuts to getting to know someone. "Not much damn use to me today," Severus mused.

The question of when or even if he might talk to Hermione was taken out of his hands. Severus was in his private storeroom taking inventory of his stores when he heard someone calling his name from his classroom.

"Severus?" Then a giggle.

Severus frowned and then looked out from the storeroom to see Hermione grinning at him.

"Why are you smiling like a loon?"

"Because I called you 'Severus'." Hermione answered, like she had just been asked what was two plus two. At Severus' lack of response, she continued talking. "Minerva dared me to call you Severus. She owes me two sickles. She didn't think I'd do it." And she grinned again.

"All right, _Hermione,_ I'll bite. Why did our illustrious Headmistress dare you to call me Severus? Unless," he paused and rolled his eyes dramatically, "you have been named as a staff member apprentice."

"I'm apprenticing with Flitwick - I mean Filius - which sounds odder than calling you by your name, actually. I'm supposed to get used to referring to everyone by their name. She said it will help me feel more like an adult."

"Congratulations. And how is that working out for you?"

"You're my first test! She bet me I wouldn't do it and I thought, 'well, I wanted to talk to him anyway,' so here I am!"

"You owe me one sickle."

Her smile fell slightly, "What? Why?"

"Because if you don't split your winnings with me, I'll tell everyone you chickened out."

She narrowed her eyes, but her smile returned. "Fine. Anyway, I wanted to tell you about my parents."

Severus moved further into the room and sat behind his desk, conjuring a seat near his for her use.

"Thank you." She sat and they angled their chairs so that they were somewhat facing each other.

At that moment, there was the sound of a ministry worker completing repairs down the corridor. Severus wandlessly closed the door to his classroom and then gestured for her to continue.

"My parents - they're ok," she began, but her smile faded slightly.

"But," Severus prompted.

"There's really no 'but.'" She paused. "They lived, they have their memories."

"But," Severus prompted again.

"They're not very pleased with me. It's not even that they're mad that I modified their memories. They understand that. They're glad to be alive. They just can't believe I'm coming back. They think I was ridiculous for not hiding with them in Australia. I have not handled this the way they have at any step. Which is all well and good for them to say - they weren't there! But that's really the long and the short of it. They're not here. It's the same pressure I've felt since I stepped on the Hogwarts Express when I was 11. But how could they be happy that I would choose a murderous war-torn world? Why would they be happy for me coming back to Hogwarts which set me on a path that could've killed me? They came just short of asking me why I bothered restoring their memories if I was just going to leave again and possibly get myself killed again."

Severus raised an eyebrow. "How could you work so hard for freedom and not live in that freedom?"

"Exactly!" Hermione said animatedly. "Ron just thinks it's a given that I would return to the wizarding world. But I don't have to. He doesn't understand that there is even a choice. Harry understands the choice but would never choose the muggle world. I do! I have a choice. I could leave it all and be fine. Go to college, get a job in the muggle world, make my parents happy. But damn it, I bled for this. You're a nutter if you think I'm not going to get everything from the Magical world that it owes me."

Severus was reminded of seeing her explode at the boys in the Forest of Dean. He very nearly smiled at the memory but instead nodded at her in approval.

Hermione deflated slightly and smiled gratefully at being understood.

"Well, Hermione. You either owe me a sickle or you can work it off by helping me get my storeroom in order. I either lost a lot between spell damage and those damn giants shaking the castle or Slughorn was lazier than I thought."

Hermione chuckled. "Probably both. Fine, I'll help you with your storeroom. But it's going to cost you more than a sickle."

Severus goggled at Hermione. Who was this person?

"I still have to do NEWTS," she explained as she walked to the storeroom. "I'm going to take them in December. They're doing a fast-track for everyone who got derailed last year."

"So I've heard. I am teaching an optional revision course. Are you taking that course?"

She turned in the doorway to look at him. "Umm, no. I'm not supposed to take classes with students while I'm an apprentice or they won't look at me like an authority."

"Understandable. You probably don't need the course anyway."

"Well, I probably don't need the basic revision course. But I do need help. I would like help. I want to get 'O's on my NEWTS, obviously. I was hoping you would help me with the more advanced Potions topics. I won't be a bother, I promise!"

Severus pretended to ponder her for a moment. It wouldn't do to act like he was anxious to spend time with her. Maybe the Sequitur Simul was pushing this. Maybe it was on his side. After a suitable moment, he sighed dramatically. "Very well. Let me know when you hit challenging enough material that you need to practice in the lab and I will oversee your work."

Hermione beamed. "Thank you so much!" She paused and bit her lip. "And Defense Against the Dark Arts? Will you help me with the practical exercises?"

Damn Sequitur Simul. Not on his side, after all. "You don't need help with Defense," he growled.

"Yes, I do! I mean, I know a lot, but it's not like we practiced book spells. I truly lost a year of book learning. Can you imagine? I'm so behind."

"Talk to Professor Langham."

Hermione wrinkled her nose at the mention of the new DADA Professor, put in place by the ministry until they could be sure that the position was no longer cursed. "Ministry."

"He'll have to do, Hermione," he said firmly.

Hermione looked like she was about to mount a further attack, but then nodded. "Fine. But you just lost that sickle." And she turned her back on him to begin looking over the storeroom.

Severus smiled to her back, then turned to his side of the storeroom and picked up a jar of beetles.

Inch by inch, the castle started looking more and more ready for the school year. Severus was getting accustomed to seeing Hermione every day. They seemed to cross paths at least once a day outside of meals. A question about the Potions textbook, start of term meetings, delivering a timetable from Minerva - all of them brought her down to his dungeons. Sometimes it was a one-minute talk, sometimes that talk turned into a thirty-minute discussion. There was a level of comfort with her that he had only enjoyed with a handful of people in his lifetime.

The night before the students arrived, he entered the Great Hall for dinner to find that it had been rearranged for the students' arrival. They had been sitting at a large oval table that seemed to grow and shrink according to each meal's attendees, but now the house tables and teacher dais were back in their customary spots. He could almost see the students sitting at their tables. His step slowed for a count of two as he remembered that he was not Headmaster and would not be sitting in the center chair. Minerva was standing near the Headmistress' chair, looking at him. It wasn't trepidation or pity, just acknowledging, like him, that things had changed.

He nodded to Minerva as he reached the chairs near the middle of the dais. "Headmistress."

"Severus," she greeted him back. She nodded to the chair at her right. "I would like you to sit next to me, if that's all right with you."

Severus nodded. He pulled the center chair out for Minerva. She nodded her thanks and sat down. He sat down next to her and noticed that the chair to his right was empty, followed by Filius then Pomona followed by Langham. To the left of Minerva were Professors Vector, Babbling, Sinestra, the new Transfiguration Professor - a former pre-war apprentice of Minerva's - and the new Muggle Studies Professor. Filius and Pomona had been watching, but all of the other professors were talking and lost in their own thoughts.

The doors to the Great Hall opened again and Hermione walked in with Neville, talking animatedly. They often walked into the Great Hall for dinner together. It took a minute before they registered the change, and Severus watched as they, too, slowed down to process where everyone was seated and tried to gauge where they should sit. For Neville, it seemed obvious. There was a seat sufficiently far from the Headmistress next to Professor Sprout, for whom he was an apprentice. Neville smiled nervously at Hermione and went to fill the seat.

Hermione continued walking to the dais and noted the space between Filius and Severus. She also looked to the spot at the end of both sides. Everyone knew one was for Hagrid; it was larger and reinforced. Everyone also knew the other one was for Professor Trelawney, who liked to slip in mid-meal, sometimes earlier, sometimes later depending on the fates. Hermione looked slightly confused, but she headed to the spot between Filius and Severus. She sat down and said hello to everyone and was greeted back cordially.

Minerva tapped her glass. "Welcome, everyone. It's almost time to welcome back our students. Thank you for your hard work this summer restoring the castle from chaos back to our home, and a home for our students. It's going to be a hard year. But you are up to the challenge. Let's eat and enjoy our last quiet dinner."

Professors chuckled and the babble of conversations restarted as the dishes appeared on the table.

Severus tried to engage Hermione in conversation, but she seemed preoccupied and instead he talked to Minerva about some last minute details that she was still trying to work through. When Minerva turned to answer a question from Professor Vector, he turned back to Hermione, who now seemed to have moved from preoccupied to downright angry.

He leaned toward her and quietly asked, "Are you all right, Hermione?"

She looked at him and scowled. "Why am I sitting here?"

Severus was taken aback. "What?" Just when he was about to tell her to feel free to find another place to sit tomorrow, she turned to Filius and Pomona.

"I can't believe this. He is a war hero. He deserves respect."

"Hermione," Severus interjected, "they are not being disrepec-" but she cut him off.

"They would not sit by you!" Her voice was now attracting the attention of Minerva and a few other professors, including Professor Vector, who chuckled, making her even angrier. "I cannot believe the gall…" but it was Severus' turn to cut her off.

"Hermione, stop." This was said in his most professorial voice, and she obeyed, though she was still glaring daggers. "Which professors are to Minerva's right?"

"I know who they are," she answered, still angry.

"What are they? Think, Hermione."

Hermione narrowed her eyes. "Heads of houses. But I don't see what," she started.

"Yes, they are heads of houses and as such they are the natural progression for Headmaster of Hogwarts," Severus answered.

"Severus!" Pomona exclaimed. "Don't speak such abomination!"

Filius and Severus laughed, but Hermione still had her eyes narrowed at them.

Severus rolled his eyes at her. "They don't want the job."

"Ever," added Filius.

"Ever," echoed Pomona.

"And," added Severus, "Even though you're an apprentice, you're more likely to fill that spot one day than they are. It is actually a sign of their confidence in you. Though at this moment, you look like a dunderhead."

Filius nodded and smiled. "We're lazy, not bastards, Hermione."

Pomona laughed. "I don't think you're a dunderhead. And we think Severus is a hero, too, dear."

Hermione turned red with embarrassment. "I'm so sorry," she said faintly.

Pomona waved her off. "War is a bitch. If the worst thing you do is defend a friend instead of cursing people in your sleep, you're doing well, dear."

This statement caused all of the staff to laugh and nod and return to their conversations. Hermione turned to Severus, still blushing. "I insult professors, hex professors…"

"Set professors on fire," Severus added helpfully.

Hermione covered her face in her hands. "Merlin's pants."

Severus smirked but then his face softened. "Thank you," he said softly. "Not for setting my robes on fire, obviously."

She put her hands back down into her lap. "You're welcome that I'm a dunderhead."

"In the best way," Severus chuckled.


	8. September 1998

**Author's Note: I love writing dialogue and we're getting into the dialogue-heavy chapters. Enjoy!**

**September 1998**

That September, Severus watched as Hermione kept a busier schedule than even her third year time turner fiasco. Between studying for her Newts, observing Filius in first and second year classes, grading papers for Filius and doing rounds at night, he observed her looking both more haggard than ever before, yet more alive than he had ever seen her.

He was busy, too. Slytherin had never needed more attention. Of course, all of the Heads of Houses were saying the exact same thing. Neville Longbottom, who was slated to replace Pomona at the end of his three-year apprenticeship was head of Gryffindor. Two years ago, if you had told him that Neville would be Head of Gryffindor, he would have laughed in your face, but now…. "But now," he said aloud to himself in his office. So many "but now"s.

Did he seem more alive than ever before? He felt more alive than ever before. It wasn't big. It wasn't an outward change. But then again, he mused, maybe it was an outward change. Students discussed more in his class than ever before. Not in a disrespectful way, but in an engaged way. He spoke more, too: in classes, in the Staff Room, in the Great Hall. The first few weeks had seen so many shoulders begin to relax in his presence. He was still strict in his classes, but now….

He shook his head. He was done psychoanalyzing himself. He had done enough of that in the months of his recuperation. He liked the way things were going this year; it was as simple as that. "But now," his traitorous mind thought, "Hermione is here." She was never far from his mind, but she was especially on his mind tonight as he graded papers and counted down the hours until he had rounds with her.

His eyebrows creased as he heard a knock at the door of his office a few minutes before rounds were to begin. He could still control his emotions, thank Merlin, because he very nearly smiled when he opened the door and Hermione was before him, smiling. She had multiple quills sticking from her messy bun and an ink stain on her jaw under her ear. She looked at once as young as a Hogwarts student and as old as a Hogwarts Professor. University-aged students were funny like that.

"Ready?" she panted, out of breath.

"Come in," he instructed, opening the door wider. "Let me get my cloak." He watched as she leaned against his desk while he walked to get his cloak from the corner. "Why are you out of breath?" he asked.

"Because I got sidetracked and lost track of time. And all of a sudden I only had five minutes to get from the Library to your office."

"You were here early; the castle must love you."

"I did get some lucky stair placements. Are you ready?"

Severus nodded and held the door open for her. He followed her out and warded his office door. He walked slower with Hermione. He had made that change the first time they did rounds together. Dumbledore, who didn't have Hermione's short legs, always walked slowly, too. One time, Severus asked him why he was so slow. He had responded with, "Walk slowly in a crowd, Severus. Let people who need you catch up to you." Hermione may not need him, but he wanted her to catch up to him, all the same.

After they emerged from the dungeons, he asked her about her studies.

"I'm so happy," she said, looking at him while walking. "I wondered if I would ever be this happy again," she confided. "And I definitely didn't know if I could ever be happy at Hogwarts again. But I'm so glad I came back. I really wish I wasn't in this in-between thing between being an 8th year and being an apprentice, but I love it. I love learning again. I love reading and listening to the professors. I'm such a swot. Is that why you stay at Hogwarts?"

"That's a complicated question. There are a lot of reasons why I came and different reasons of why I stayed. But if you're asking me if I'm a swot, well, obviously."

"I think I knew that," she joked. "Are you happy at Hogwarts?"

He looked at her as they rounded a corner. "Happy is not a word that I use a lot, Hermione."

"Content? Is that a better word?"

Severus stopped walking and thought for a moment. "Content is acceptable. And there are many things that I enjoy about being a professor, but there are things that are tedious as well. But 'content' this year is a damn sight nicer than the last few years. And sometimes," he looked at her and saw the smudge on her jaw again and smiled, "I am happy."

That earned him a true smile from Hermione and they began walking again. "Thank you for talking to me like a normal human being."

"Where did that come from?"

"Well, I feel really stuck in no man's land. I can't hang out with Ginny and the other Gryffindors because Minerva is being quite strict about me setting boundaries between 'them' as students and 'us' as apprentices. Even if I could hang out with Ginny, she is working harder than I am trying to get ready for NEWTS in December. She didn't want to come back to Hogwarts at all, but Arthur and Molly are making her. But then Filius is still my teacher, so he's setting boundaries and not treating me like an equal. The other professors are still treating me like a student. You're the only one who will just talk to me."

Severus groaned. "I was twenty-one when I became a professor. There were students that were only three years behind me in school. It was horrible. The other professors treated me like a student, and they hadn't liked me when I was a student. I had been a little shit causing them problems left and right and then Dumbledore brings me - an ex-Death Eater - on as a professor. Minerva treated me with respect, but respect doesn't invite you over for a cup of tea. It took years to get to that point. Albus was the only one who talked to me, who knew everything and let me start my new life without looking at me like I had two heads."

"What about this time around? Are people letting you start your new life without being weird?"

"The people at Hogwarts are. Everyone else can go hang." He paused. "You are." He stopped walking and she stopped with him. They leaned their backs against a wall. "Why are you?"

She considered him for a moment. "There's only a small circle of us, Severus. A very small circle who know the truth, know everything. Maybe one day, I'll look at the people who stood aside during the war and not hate them. But I'm not there yet. I've trusted you for years. I'll never not trust you. If you said tomorrow you wanted to leave Hogwarts and start a worm farm, I'd help you pick out the land."

Severus was dumbstruck.

"And besides," she continued, "relaxed, not-a-little-shit-Severus smiles and is nice."

Severus narrowed his eyes at her. "Hmmm. You call me a little shit again, and you won't get to visit my worm farm."

Hermione laughed. "See? Relaxed Severus is nice!"

Severus smiled at her and they began walking again.

A couple of weeks later, she knocked on his office door again his during office hours, laden with her school bag plus a few extra books. He let her in and she deposited her things on a potions workbench in the corner.

"Hello," she greeted him.

"Is it time?" he asked.

"It's time. I'm ready for the written portion of the Potions NEWT, but I need to start brewing through the potions."

"Is it safe to let you in? I heard what you did to Professor Langham."

She pursed her lips at him. "Don't start with me."

He smirked. "First things first," he began. "You don't need to knock. Just come in."

"What about your wards if you're not in?"

"My wards will let you in," he replied. "Come outside with me."

She narrowed her eyes, but didn't question him as she followed him outside to the corridor. He wished she would question him. He wanted someone to take the burden of the Sequitur Simul off of him and share it.

"Let's try it," he said evenly. He flicked his wand to reset his wards. He gestured for her to enter.

She turned the handle and he could tell that she could feel his magic wash over her. She turned back and watched him enter.

He used his wand to release the wards. "Don't brew alone," he cautioned, "but you can always use my office for studying and brewing."

"Thank you. I would hate to walk all the way here and then have to go all the way back up to my quarters."

He sat back down behind his desk. "What happened to Langham?"

"You already know."

"I want to hear your side of it."

"My side," she sighed dramatically, "is that I just fought in a bloody war while he sat on his Auror arse doing paperwork. His side is that I came at him like a banshee."

"Did you?"

She gave him a dirty look. "I accepted the automatic DADA NEWT they offered me. I'm no longer in the mood to attend Defense Class appropriate for first years. And Langham is fine."

Severus looked at her approvingly. "There was nothing anyone here could have taught you. You did the right thing." He pointed to the bag at her feet. "What are you brewing today?"

"Wiggenweld," she answered, pulling a book and notes out of her bag. She set her things on the brewing station.

"Is that your textbook?"

"Whose else would it be?" Hermione looked over her shoulder at Severus.

"Mine?"

Hermione scowled. "Stupid book. Harry still has it, I think."

Severus chuckled and went back to reading.

"What are you reading?"

"Potions Quarterly from a year ago. I'm just now getting to read it. If I didn't have the extra NEWT Revision class, I would be able to catch up," he groused. "Half of the people trying for a Potions NEWT in December are going to fail miserably."

Hermione snorted. "Harry and Ron got off easy in that respect. I mean, if you call being in a war easy. Draco probably would have done well. He was always good at Potions."

Severus put down his quarterly. "And they are together in Magical Law Enforcement Patrol? Draco says they're friends now."

Hermione nodded as she chopped. "They had it out," she looked at him, "very loudly," she added, then turned back to her potion ingredients, "the night before they were all supposed to report. Harry invited him over to Grimmauld Place and Draco accepted the invitation. I think they all knew that they couldn't go the way they had been going another seven years if they were going to work together."

"Were you there?"

"Yes. It was me, Ginny, Harry, Ron and Draco. I think Ginny and I were invited just to make sure no one killed anyone."

"I'm shocked that they didn't let Harry and Ron go straight into the Auror Program."

"Would you let them?" Hermione asked, doubtful.

Severus thought for a moment. "Yes and no. There would be publicity advantages to naming Harry Potter and Ron Weasley as Aurors."

"But they couldn't do their jobs," Hermione countered. "They don't know enough."

"No, I agree with that. Having them start on the bottom rung of MLE is the right choice. I'm just shocked the Ministry got one right for a change."

Hermione chuckled. "I'm pretty sure Kingsley had a hand in slowing the Ministry down. I have no doubt Harry, and probably Ron and Draco, will make Auror one day, but I'm glad they're making them work their way up."

"I'm very proud of Draco," Severus said thoughtfully. "Breaking from his family and their past and his parents' expectations is a daunting task. He doesn't need to work at all. But I think he thinks that if he just sits around Malfoy Manor all day that he'll end up the same as his father."

Hermione picked up her mortar and pestle. She turned to talk to him as she began crushing lionfish spines. "All three of them love it. They are still in training, but they're shadowing their trainers. They write to me about the idiots they arrest every day. I think it's refreshing to them that there are still minor, petty wrongdoers in the world after facing nothing but major evil for years. It's like me being here. Thank Merlin there are still dunderheads in the world after only seeing Voldemort do magic that is beyond what one can imagine. Normal crap is awesome."

Severus nodded and picked up his quarterly once more and opened it to where he left off. "Normal crap _is_ awesome."


	9. October 1998

**Author's Note: When I published ****_A Poor Sort of Memory, _****a reviewer wished that I would have fleshed out the memories further. So I fleshed one out (kind of, if you tilt your head a little) in this chapter. It was a ton of fun. Enjoy and have a blessed 2020!**

**October 1998**

In early October, there was a staff meeting to get ready for Halloween Feast. Severus sat in the back grading papers as people discussed trivialities that had absolutely no bearing on anything. All students want to do at these things is dance and talk with their friends and not think about homework for a night. Bats - sure. Pumpkins - check. Food - sounds good. The meeting could have been ten minutes long. An hour after the meeting started, he looked up to find that the meeting was finally coming to a close.

As was usual, professors stayed to chit chat. He watched as Hermione got up. She had been sitting a row in front of him, effectively shielding him from Minerva's line of sight. Instead of hanging around to talk, it seemed that she was making a bee line for the door. But then Neville, who also was looking at her curiously, intercepted her. He watched from the side but couldn't tell what they were talking about. He maneuvered himself casually around the border of the room until he was facing Hermione, but slightly to the right, near the shadowy corner of the room. He was upset to see that she was teary. She looked like a raccoon. Her hair was a mess. He wanted to know what could be upsetting her. He found himself being unaccountably jealous of Neville. He and Hermione were becoming friends, but Severus apparently wasn't in the "cry on shoulder" category of friendship. But damned if he wasn't going to know what or who was upsetting her. Severus was an accomplished enough Legilimens that he was able to casually slip into another person's mind and simply skim the topmost layer of thoughts without the person knowing. He rarely did so. Beyond the fact that it wasn't polite, it was rarely interesting or worth the effort or the risk of getting caught. When he was spying, it was useful. As a normal member of a functioning society, not so much. "But this is Hermione," his mind supplied; he wanted to know what was upsetting her. "But this is Hermione," his mind supplied again, reminding him that she was important to him and worth respect, much more so than a Death Eater from whom he needed to glean intelligence.

His spy inclinations won out and he cast the spell nonverbally. He saw a picture of Ron. Just as he was wondering how Ron was involved in her unease, Hermione's very powerful Occlumency shields immediately slammed shut and Severus was forcibly and violently expelled from Hermione's mind. He grabbed his forehead. "Fuck." He had not meant to say it out loud, but he couldn't help himself. His head felt like it had been cleaved open. She had forced his spell to rebound and the pain was excruciating. He felt around for the back of the nearest chair and sat down. The babble of conversation had dimmed significantly. He heard the sound of someone coming near and prayed it wasn't Hermione coming over to finish killing him.

"Severus?" It was Minerva, thank Merlin. "Are you all right?"

"Migraine," Severus managed to say. "It just came on. I need to go lie down." He got up from his chair and but kept his hand up shielding his eyes as he maneuvered past everyone to get to the door. Hermione was nearest the door. The part of his brain that wasn't throbbing registered that her arms were crossed. He didn't dare look at her face.

Every damn student seemed to be in the corridors and talking loudly. If he thought he could dock points without vomiting, all of the house hourglasses would register negative come tomorrow morning, but as it was, he silently made his way down to the dungeons and to his quarters. He immediately downed two headache potions and made his way to his bedroom, shedding clothes onto the ground every few feet. He debated which would hurt less: calling a house elf to light his fire, casting a spell, or sleeping without a fire. In the end, he cast the spell and moaned at the extra helping of pain that caused him. He closed his eyes and prayed for the headache potions to kick in and dull the pain.

When he woke up the next morning, it had dulled to a manageable throb. One more headache potion before breakfast and he could probably make it through the day without hexing his students. The potion would not, however, be able to fix the Hermione Problem. He had royally messed up and he knew from both experience and stories of bugs in jars that he had messed with the wrong witch. He metaphorically girded his loins and made the walk to the Great Hall, taking care to enter as a Potions Master instead of a whipped puppy.

He swore under his breath as he walked into the Great Hall and immediately saw that Hermione's eyes were locked on his. He sat down and looked at the students but could still feel Hermione's eyes on him as Minerva spoke.

"Are you better, Severus?" Minerva asked with her unique combination of concern mixed with an attitude of "Buck up, young man."

"Mostly. Thank you." He still avoided Hermione's gaze, though he knew he couldn't for long. After making a meal of pouring himself some coffee, he turned to look at her. "Are you feeling better, Hermione?"

This seemed to catch her slightly off guard. She was caught more off guard when Minerva interjected.

"Are you unwell, Hermione?"

Severus noted that her question to Hermione was laced with a lot more concern than her question to him and he scowled to his coffee.

Hermione looked past Severus to Minerva. "I'm fine, Minerva. I had a rough day yesterday, that's all."

Minerva nodded and went back to her breakfast and the Daily Prophet.

Hermione sighed into her pumpkin juice, no longer glaring daggers into the side of his head. "You're an arse."

Severus chuckled into his coffee. "I am an arse. I'm sorry. I would appreciate it if you did not stuff me into a jar. Or if you do, I would appreciate some air holes."

He heard her snort. "She got off easy."

The corner of his mouth raised despite himself. Definitely messed with the wrong witch. "Are you ok?" he asked in a quiet voice, looking at her for the first time.

She scowled at him then softened up a little. "I'll be ok."

"Come work on potions this afternoon." He hoped that she saw the offer as the olive branch that it was.

She shook her head in the same exasperated way that he had seen her shake her head at Harry and Ron countless times, but she was smiling slightly. "Fine."

"I'm free at four. I won't be at lunch. I've got to catch up on some grading now that my head isn't cleaved in two."

She sniggered. He caught her, "Your own damn fault…" as he got up to leave breakfast.

Like called to like, he remembered, as he jokingly called her a mean old bat under his breath.

At four, Hermione walked into the office, but instead of heading to the potions workstation, she came to his desk. She flopped gracelessly into the chair on the other side of his desk.

He looked up and tried to gauge her emotional state. He determined that she wasn't angry at him anymore, but she still seemed a little sad. She obviously wasn't herself if she wasn't in the mood to work on potions. He stood up and grabbed her bag from the floor where she had deposited it. "Follow me."

She furrowed her brow and started to ask what they were doing, but he was steps ahead of her. He heard her footsteps catch up to his as he put his hand against a stretch of wall. Then he heard her gasp in delight as the wall dissolved. Magic would never cease to be magical, and he loved that magic was the same way to her, as well.

He walked through the arched entry way to his private quarters. He was glad to see as he turned around that she had followed him without hesitation.

"Wow," she exclaimed. Predictably, she had gone straight to the bookcases. "Are these all yours?" she breathed.

Severus chuckled. "Yes. Whose else would they be?"

Hermione turned back to face him and grinned. "I know. Stupid question. It's just a lot of books." She turned back around and her head tilted to the side once more to continue reading spines.

He let her have her fill of looking through his library while he started a fire. He also called for a House Elf named Quill and asked for tea. Quill's snap as he exited brought her attention back to the present. Severus sat down on his couch and started pouring tea for the both of them. She took the other end of the couch instead of a wing chair, which pleased him. She put her legs on the cushion under her and made herself comfortable, blowing across the surface of her tea. She looked around the room and took in the surroundings.

"Thanks for the tea."

He contemplated the young woman before him. "Who taught you Occlumency?"

"I learned it by myself."

His eyes widened with shock. "When?"

"I started reading about Occlumency after you stopped Harry's lessons. It didn't click until much later, but when it clicked, it really clicked."

"Obviously," he drawled. "I'm impressed."

She blushed at the praise and smiled slightly. "It probably saved my life," she said quietly. "If I hadn't been able to clear my mind and know that there was at least one part of me that could be safe at night, I think I would have lost it being on the run for so long."

"I understand. I think we have that in common." The list of things he liked and admired about Hermione was becoming obscenely long. "I'm sorry again for using Legilimency on you. I promise that I have never done that to you before, and I will never do that again."

Hermione nodded. "Thank you. Just ask next time."

Severus' stomach flooded with emotion. He wanted to be that man. The man that could care about her, could ask her questions, could hold her when she was hurting. "Will you tell me this time?" he asked her solemnly, willing her to let him in further.

Hermione looked down at her teacup, and he could tell she was debating. "Ron broke up with me. Or rather, he didn't, actually. He asked me to break up with him."

Severus' emotions warred within him. A sense of relief flooded him that she was no longer with Ron. He tried to tamp down that emotion with empathy, but it was incredibly hard to call up. "I'm sorry." It wasn't exactly a lie.

Hermione shrugged. "I knew it was coming."

"You knew your boyfriend was going to ask you to break up with him?" Severus asked, skeptical.

Hermione smiled. "It sounds crazy when you say it."

"It is crazy, Hermione. Why doesn't he just break it off himself?"

"He did," explained Hermione. "But he's trying to manage people's reaction to our breakup."

"By making you the bad guy?" Anger had now waded into his emotional pool.

"Actually, quite the opposite," Hermione said matter-of-factly. "Ron is always three chess moves ahead. If I break up with him because I am too concentrated on my studies right now, we might come out of this unscathed. I will be painted as a swot, which is true. We will be seen out in public with Harry, letting the public know that we are all still friends. He will wait a suitable time of mourning," at this she added an eye roll, "and then he will find a new girlfriend. He's actually showing an amazing level of self-control."

Hermione's naivety was astounding. "And you think he doesn't already have a girl in mind?" he asked skeptically.

"Oh no, he definitely has probably quite a few girls in mind," she acquiesced, sighing. "But he could break up with me for one of these girls and start dating them tomorrow. And I would be what?"

"The ex-girlfriend," Severus supplied.

"The frigid, dowdy girlfriend not good enough for Ron Weasley, war hero, most likely," Hermione answered.

"That would never happen," he said without hesitation. "You are a war hero, too, and you are ensconced within the hallowed halls of Hogwarts. Minerva would skin that reporter alive."

"Maybe. Or, and I agree that it might be more likely, sentiment could turn against him instead of me. And I would be the victim and he would be labeled a man-whore."

Severus smiled at that label, but quickly sobered. "He's breaking up with you, Hermione. Why are you putting forth this much effort to protect him? He hurt you. I know this hurt you."

"Because it's Ron," she answered simply.


	10. November 1998

**Author's Note: Thank you so much for the reviews - it means more than you think it does! Heading on a trip, but I thought I'd leave y'all a gift as I leave town. Enjoy!**

**November 1998**

"Ugh," she groaned, rather more loudly than her normal level of annoyance. He was getting used to grading papers and listening to her. Sometimes it was a running commentary: her day, gossip, what she was learning in her apprenticeship, how amazed she was at the dunderheadedness - her word, not his - of the first years. Sometimes, she was concentrating too hard to gab and instead only made noises: noises of satisfaction, noises of confusion, noises of annoyance. Severus was pretty sure these were solely for communication with him. Many times, it was to draw him into conversation in a roundabout way. When she first started brewing in his lab, it was annoying, like the sounds of a cricket in the corner that you can't find, even when you get out of your reading chair three times to look for it. But then it turned into the sound of cicadas on summer nights when he was a child and would sit on the edge of the river. It was there, but you didn't really mind it. At one point, it turned into part of the soundtrack to his lab and when it wasn't there, it was like walking down to the river after the first freeze and suddenly realizing that the cicadas weren't there and it was too quiet.

"What are you brewing?" he asked, not looking up from his papers.

"Veritaserum."

He looked up from his papers. This was going to be interesting. Veritaserum was considered a turning point potion. Budding potioneers would either tackle Veritaserum and move on to bigger potions, or they would be stymied and decide that maybe History of Magic was more their strong suit.

"It's pink!"

"So?" he asked innocently.

"Pink is weak. Will it get clear as it matures? Does the lunar cycle change the color?"

"No."

"The book says it can be any color on a spectrum from dark pink to crystal clear and that crystal clear is the most potent."

"And?"

"Your Veritaserum is crystal clear!"

"So it is."

"How potent is dark pink?"

Severus got up from his desk and went to her side. He looked at the vial and swirled it. "Only one way to find out."

He was about to take a sip when she stilled his hand. "What are you doing? It's Veritaserum. That's not something you play with."

"This is." That statement earned him a dirty look. "And you're going to take some, too."

He took a small sip and then gestured for her to do the same.

Once she had taken her sip, Hermione smiled, rolled her eyes and started the game. "Do you think I'm a good potioneer?"

Severus looked at her and smiled, "No."

"Git!" And she shoved his shoulder with her own.

"Ok," Severus countered. "Do you think I'm a good teacher?"

"No!" Hermione laughed. "This is useless. I barely feel compelled to think about the truth much less say it out loud. Why do they say it's ok for it to be pink?"

Severus paused and looked at her. "Because this book is for students, not for serious potioneers."

Hermione looked at him. "Is it right? Is pink still veritaserum?"

Severus pondered her. "Yes and no. Did you use the right ingredients?"

"Of course."

"In the right order, with the right number of stirs? Did you perhaps stir clockwise instead of counter-clockwise?"

She narrowed her eyes at him. "I followed the directions perfectly. What am I missing?"

"You."

"Explain."

Severus turned his back to the table and leaned against it and watched Hermione lean her hip against the table, facing him. "Can Muggles make potions?"

Hermione breathed in slowly as she took a moment to digest the question. "Some things in my potions books aren't potions. They're not unique to wizards. They're combinations of plants or plant extracts that are well known to everyone. So I assume Muggles can make those potions."

"I agree."

"But then there are potions with rat spleens and I don't think Muggles experiment with rat spleens a lot."

"But if they did, could they make the potion?" He loved watching her think.

"I don't think so," she answered. "There are some potions, advanced ones, where I know that changing from clockwise to counter-clockwise did something. And I don't think stirring does anything in the Muggle world."

He nodded slowly. "When you stir Veritaserum seven times and then on the eighth stir something changes, is that because of you moving the ingredients around for one more half second?"

"It's me, isn't it? It's using my magic."

She received a small smile for her deduction. "It's latent magic being transferred to the potion ingredients."

She smiled back at him. "'Many of you will hardly believe this is magic,'" she said, quoting him. "Why didn't you ever teach us that part?"

"You do learn it in school, eventually. Some people delve into it in their seventh year, if they can't get their Veritaserum to turn clear," he teased. "Most people never get that far and don't care. Or if they do care, they learn in university or in an apprenticeship. You don't need the knowledge. Your latent magic is working through the ingredients and the instructions whether you know it or not."

"What does this have to do with Veritaserum? Do I not have the right conduit? Is the stirring rod like a wand?"

"Yes, the rod works somewhat like a conduit. But your stirring rod is fine." He waited for the penny to drop and watched her process.

"Are you telling me pink means my magic is weak?" She was not pleased with the potion's proclamation and looked down at the vial as if it had personally offended her.

He smiled at her vehemence. "No, I'm not. Calm down."

She looked back at him and pursed her lips.

"What I'm telling you - what the book is unwilling to tell you outright - is that your latent magic is not enough. You are going to have to draw upon your magic purposefully and send it into the potion."

"And why doesn't the book tell me that? Why does it act like pink is fine?"

"Because it is a basic textbook. Why do you think I changed so many things in my copy?"

Hermione made a noise of disapproval. "So what do I do?"

"You know that point where you said you can feel something?"

She nodded.

"Purposefully send your magic into the potion. It's going to feel like doing a non-verbal spell. It's going to take concentration. Make the potion base again. But before you go the final four steps, divide it into three cauldrons." He left her and went back to grading at his desk.

It was quiet as she prepared the base and he knew she was worried. He wasn't worried. He knew she was a powerful witch who wouldn't stop until she mastered using her magic in this way.

"I'm done," she called out.

He joined her and checked all three cauldrons. They were perfect. "I'm going to watch you finish this first cauldron. Send your magic when you feel it trying to draw magic out of you."

She nodded and he watched as she added the ingredients and stirred. When it came to the correct point, he watched as she focused on the stirring rod and stirred it one last time. She put her stirring rod down. "Whew. Why doesn't it have a spell to help? There's no spell to help you focus."

Once you get used to the feeling of your raw magic, you'll get it. "Look - it's already much paler pink."

She frowned at the still substandard potion. Then she removed a small spoonful. She looked at Severus and smirked in challenge.

He took the spoon from her and took a small sip from it. Then held the spoon up to her mouth and she took her sip.

Hermione looked at him. "A little more potent." She shook her head to try to clear it. "I'll start. Do you think I'm intelligent?"

Severus looked at her. It was still insufficient to force him tell the truth, but he allowed the potion to guide his words. "I think you're incredibly intelligent. I wouldn't let you in my private lab if you weren't." He paused and frowned at her. "Why do you want me to tell you that you're intelligent?"

She looked down at the work surface. "Because if you think that I'm smart, then I am."

He raised her chin to look at him. "Hermione, you're one of the smartest women I know. And the potion has worn off, but that is the truth."

She smiled at him and blushed slightly. "Thank you."

He let go of her chin and nodded. He debated his next step but was willing to throw caution to the wind. He wanted her to feel his magic. Wanted her to experience and bear the same longing to feel another person's magic. He wanted to watch her as his magic washed over her. "I'm going to guide you this time. When you start stirring, I'm going to place my hand on yours and we're both going to send our magic into the potion." He tried to sound nonchalant, but he wasn't sure he had pulled it off.

Hermione nodded and looked at him for a moment before stepping in front of the second cauldron. She worked through the steps and Severus stepped behind her watching over her right shoulder. She glanced over her right shoulder at him when it was time.

Severus placed his larger hand over hers as she grasped the stirring rod. He let her do the work of stirring the potion. When it was time, he sent his magic to flow through him and into her hand. He watched her face as she gasped. She almost let go of the stirring rod, but he made sure her hand remained tight around the rod and then drew the stirring rod out from the potion when it was time and laid it aside. He let his hand remain on hers for a split second longer than needed and then removed it and stepped back to her side. He knew what she was feeling as she leaned against the work station with her hands on the edges of the table. He, too, was affected. He thought it would feel the same as when she had hexed him or when he had walked through her wards. But he was wrong; it was stronger, concentrated. It had been overwhelming as he felt her raw magic course through her hand into his own. He had meant to tease her, to invite her to feel his magic, to get a taste. But it was more like a deluge. He was working out what to say when she spoke.

"Your magic," she began. "I've felt your magic before." Her eyes were closed. "It's so strong."

He internally begged her not to say that it was dark.

"It's so beautiful," she breathed. "It was all over the great hall that day for defense practice. It hung in the air."

It took all of Severus' control not to reach out to her, to draw her to him, to touch her again. He leaned upon his occlumency and cleared his mind, or he would push her further than he already had today. "Your magic is beautiful, too," he whispered. He allowed himself to tell her that one thing, and then directed her back to the potion. "Look at the potion." He watched as she turned her attention to the cauldron and looked inside.

"It's clear." She looked back at him. "That's your magic. So strong."

"You're strong, too. I want you to complete the potion one more time, by yourself." He moved away a few more inches to give her space and watched as she completed the potion. He smiled as he watched the Veritaserum turn crystal clear after she sent her magic into the potion.

"Look!" She exclaimed, surprised. "Do you think it's as potent as yours?"

"Only one way to find out," he challenged.

He watched as she smiled and dipped the tip of her pinky into the cauldron. He followed her lead and dipped his pinky in as well. They both put the tips of their pinkies into their mouths.

Very potent. They both shook their heads a little to try to remain as clear-headed as possible, even though they both got only the tiniest of doses. Very potent, indeed.

Hermione looked at him. "Do you like having me around."

"Yes." The word came without forethought. "Do you still love Ron?"

"No." Her answer came equally as quickly.

They stared at each other for a moment. Back on shaky ground, Severus steered his mind to bring them back to safer place. "Do you want to sit here silent until this wears off in five minutes?"

"Yes!" she exclaimed, laughing.

He chuckled at her. He left her side to go back and sit at his desk. He picked up the essay he had been reading earlier and then looked over at Hermione; she was beginning to clean up the failed potions and decant the clear versions. He decided to read the essay out loud. It was a horrible essay by one of his fourth-year students.

Hermione snorted. "What an idiot. But Ginny says his older brother's a good -" She gasped and put her hands over her mouth and laughed. "Stop that!"

He smiled at her and let her finish cleaning her workstation.


	11. December 1998

**Author's Note: I like this chapter. I hope you do, too! Thanks again for the reviews. They are the chocolate frogs and sugar quills among the cockroach clusters in my inbox.**

**December 1998**

December showed Severus a side of Hermione that heretofore had only been legend. Myth. Tales passed through whispers along Hogwarts corridors.

_Harry,_

_Hermione seems slightly manic about her NEWTs. Is this normal?_

_Severus_

The next morning, he received his reply from the small brown school owl that had carried his letter to Harry.

_Severus,_

_Remind her to eat but don't interrupt her. Good luck._

_Harry_

Severus turned the parchment around to see if there was anything on the other side - surely that was only a postscript - but the other side was blank. He cursed Potter's ineptitude and quickly stuffed the useless letter into his robes when Hermione entered the Great Hall for breakfast. She had been coming to breakfast later and later each morning, with barely enough time for a piece of toast before needing to leave to observe Charms classes.

As she sat down, Severus observed the quills already stuck in her hair as she poured herself coffee. "Good morning, Hermione."

"Good morning," she replied, distracted. She pulled a book from her robes and started reading it.

Seeing that she wasn't even attempting to look for something to eat, he buttered a piece of toast. "Eat."

She frowned at the piece of toast that was being placed on her plate and looked over at Severus, who only looked at the piece of toast then nodded his head in a carefully encouraging yet not demanding sort of way. When she took the toast and started nibbling on it, he made sure to act like he didn't have any opinion one way or the other. She got up a few minutes later and walked out quickly, book still in hand.

The owl, completely unnoticed by Hermione was still nibbling on Severus' bacon rinds. "Stay for a reply." He quickly scribbled his reply and then tied it to the owl's leg and gave it instructions to return to Harry.

Harry,

Understood.

-S

The Potions Practical and Written NEWTs were on the first day of testing the following day, so Severus expected to see her during his office hours, but she did not come down. Eventually he left his office for his quarters and was reading when his wards notified him that there was someone in his office. He guessed it might be Hermione. He was getting up to go to his office when he heard a gasp and Hermione entered his sitting room.

Hermione's eyes were wide. "I'm so sorry! I just thought I'd try knocking, but the wards…" She gestured to the now reformed wall.

"It's the same wards as to my office. It's all right. Come in." This was a categorical lie. But by the looks of her, this was not the night to talk about how all of his wards were opened to her because of the Sequitur Simul.

"Thanks. Can you help me study?"

He nodded and she sat down at the same spot on the couch that she did in October. She handed him a stack of her Potions notes. He was slightly confused as to why she thought he needed notes, but he could see that she was stressed so he humored her. He asked her some routine questions that usually showed up on the written Potions NEWT.

"Name six potions that use six different components of the newt."

She began and listed six potions and the various components of the newt in each potion. Severus told her that she was correct and started looking for another good question when she said, "No, that's not right, give me that," and made a move to snatch the notes from his hands.

Severus stood up and held her papers behind his back.

Hermione stood facing him. "What are you doing?"

"You and I are going for a walk."

"But my notes," she began.

"Are you really telling me that your notes are more accurate than me? I am a Potions Master. Where's your cloak?"

"What? It's freezing outside. My cloak is in my room. Just give me my notes. I'll go study by myself."

Severus banished her notes wandlessly back to her quarters. As she was rendered speechless, he grabbed his extra cloak and put it around Hermione's shoulders. He put on his own cloak and turned towards her. "Do you trust me, Hermione?"

That question brought her back to herself. "You know I do."

"Walk with me."

She acquiesced and they walked upstairs silently toward the entry hall. He opened the large front doors and they stepped into the darkness. The moon was bright and lights from the castle cast soft light onto the grounds, aiding their steps as he led them towards the lake. He cast a warming charm on both himself and Hermione.

"Thanks," she said, sounding both resigned and annoyed.

"Now," he began. "Tell me what you love about Potions."

"I'm supposed to be studying," she replied anxiously.

"Tell me what you love about Potions," he repeated.

"I love the colors," she answered in a resigned fashion.

"What about the colors?"

She sighed. "I love seeing the colors change through the steps of the potion. I love how adding one lacewing fly can make a blue potion turn orange. I love how some colors shimmer and how some are as dark as night."

"Good. Now tell me why one lacewing fly makes the color change but three newt tails do not."

She considered and then they discussed the chemistry and magic of potions and different reactions to different potions ingredients. As they walked, he asked her thought-provoking questions about all that she had studied regarding potions in the seven years of her magical education. She stopped fretting and engaged in the conversations, answering him and asking her own questions. They walked for over an hour and they ended up once more at the front doors.

"Follow me," he said as she started to turn to go down to his office. He led her instead to the painting of a bowl of fruit. He tickled the pear, and as the doorknob appeared, he asked Hermione if she had ever been inside the kitchens.

"A few times," she admitted.

"Why am I not surprised?" he deadpanned as they crossed the threshold.

Elves greeted them warmly and Severus asked if they might have two cups of cocoa and some biscuits. They pulled out stools and sat at the scrubbed wooden table. Before they could loosen their cloaks and set them onto the stools next to them, the Elves had served them cocoa and a platter of biscuits that not even Ron Weasley could demolish in one night.

"Did you ever visit the kitchen when you were a student?" Hermione asked.

"Of course. I was always breaking rules."

"Part and parcel of being a 'little shit?'" she joked, grabbing another biscuit.

He narrowed his eyes. "Something like that." He was glad to watch her eat the biscuits. Even six months after the war, she was still rail thin. They ate and she told him about how the Elves used to be wary of her and her elf hats.

After a short while, Severus stood up from his stool. "You do have NEWTs tomorrow morning. Let me walk you to your quarters."

Hermione stood as well. They grabbed their cloaks and thanked the Elves as they left. They started walking up the stairs to Hermione's quarters.

"Your notes should be in your desk drawer. Don't look at them tonight." He looked at her to make sure she was listening.

"All right," she agreed. "Thank you. I appreciate you helping me tonight." She handed him his cloak back.

"I'll see you in the morning, Hermione."

Hermione smiled softly and went inside her quarters, closing the door behind her.

Severus had walked around that lake hundreds of times in his life. But it was tonight's walk with Hermione that he would think of every time he looked at the lake.

The next morning, Severus replayed the memory of his walk with Hermione as he climbed the stairs to her quarters an hour before her Potions NEWT. He waited outside for over ten minutes before he heard her door begin to open.

Hermione opened the door from inside her quarters violently, fire in her eyes. She found Severus stationed right outside her door and startled slightly before starting in on him. "You arse! You gave me a calming draught in that cocoa. I can't believe you! It's a test day! What if I had overslept? What if I needed to do more studying?"

"Where am I standing, Hermione?" Severus asked calmly.

"Outside my quarters, obviously," she said, waspishly.

"To make sure that you were awake with plenty of time to eat breakfast and get to your first test," he replied, eyes narrowed.

"Why couldn't you just let me alone to study like the boys," she continued, but Severus interrupted her tirade.

"I'm not one of the boys, Hermione. I am a man," he said matter-of-factly. "And I know things that boys don't know. I know what is tested at NEWT level. I know that you are over-prepared. And I already know that you are a witch who belongs in our world. I fought a war about that."

Hermione deflated slightly. "I'm not doing this to prove to anyone that I am a witch. I used to do that," she conceded.

"Then act like the grown woman that you are. Walk into that test knowing that you are going to accomplish great things, no matter what any test says. And," he lifted her chin so that she was looking at him, "friends dose friends with calming draught. Don't they?"

Hermione blushed. "You were dying. It's a little different."

"Maybe," Severus allowed. They both turned to start walking to the Great Hall for breakfast, but it was a much slower, calmer walk.

"Still a little shit," she groused, hitting his shoulder with her own as they walked.

"Obviously."

That night, she walked into his quarters tentatively. "Severus?"

"Come in," he said, sitting on his couch reading with his feet on the coffee table. "How did Potions go?"

She stood in front of him, cloak in hand. "They went well."

"What about Arithmancy and Ancient Runes?"

"I think they went well, too."

He smirked. "What's with the cloak?"

"We're going on a walk, of course! Put your boots on and get your cloak."

"Bossy little witch," he teased, putting on his boots. He walked to where his cloak was folded over the wingback chair and slipped it on.

They walked quietly through the castle and out the front doors into the moonlit night.

"What's tonight's revision subject?"

"Transfiguration and Charms."

"Both are tomorrow? Are you worried about them? I'm afraid I'm not a lot of help."

She looked at him and smiled. "Not too worried. Someone might say I'm a little over-prepared."

He raised his eyebrow in challenge and transfigured a rock on the ground in front of them into a log of wood. "Show me what you've got."

She turned the wood into a fox, who saw them and scampered away.

He aimed his wand at a leaf on the ground ahead of them and turned it into a feather. She then charmed the feather high up into the air. As it started falling, she transfigured it into a bird that flew away.

He chuckled. "What happens to these poor animals? Welcome. It's winter. Good luck."

She shrugged. "Circle of life gets a little help one way or the other."

He transfigured a rock into a bicycle wheel, which garnered him praise from Hermione. She charmed it to wheel in circles around them.

She then turned the wheel into a mouse. "There. I've balanced out the circle of life a little bit. The fox can eat the mouse." But just then an owl swooped out of the tree and caught the mouse in its beak.

Severus looked at her, his wide eyes mirroring hers; both of them had been surprised by the owl.

"We tried," she laughed.

They stopped near the lake, which had not yet frozen over. He transfigured a rock into a couch, which she charmed into a different color. She then transfigured some leaves from the ground into blankets while Severus transfigured some pebbles into logs. He wandlessly set the logs on fire as they sat on the couch.

"Aren't you going to ask me what I love about Charms and Transfiguration?" she prompted him.

He looked at her. "Foolish wand waving? What's to love?" he deadpanned.

She transfigured a rock into a frilly throw pillow and seamlessly used her wand to send it at him, but his wand was out and ready and he transfigured it into a bubble before it could hit him.

"What do you love, Hermione?" he asked as they put their wands away.

He watched as her face lit up. She talked about Charms and Transfiguration and he could feel her enjoyment. "Ever since you asked me what I love about Potions, I've been asking myself the same about all my subjects. It centers me." She paused. "You center me," she said matter-of-factly, staring at the fire.

The next morning, she walked into breakfast and smiled at him.

"Charms and Transfiguration, both Written and Practical portions. What else is today?" he asked.

"History of Magic." She rolled her eyes at him when he mimed yawning.

"Tomorrow is the last one - Astronomy at ten." She looked at him, slight worry etched on her face. "Have you been to the Astronomy Tower since," and she left the question hanging, searching his face.

Severus nodded. "What time?"

Hermione seemed relieved. "Is ten okay? I don't want to be up there with other students. But I don't want to be alone."

Severus nodded. "I'll see you there."

Hermione startled as she saw students stand to make their way to their first classes. "It's time."

"I have some calming draught in my pocket," he teased.

She feigned upset but then smiled. "Arse. Wish me luck."

"Good luck," he said and he watched her walk from the Great Hall.

He arrived at the Astronomy Tower and looked over the grounds. The Astronomy Tower held no ghosts for him, figuratively or literally, but it was always sobering to be there. He had steeled himself that this would be the night to tell Hermione about the Sequitur Simul. It was time. She was about to leave for the Christmas holiday; it would give her time away from him if she was upset. He prayed she wouldn't be upset. But if the Astronomy Tower had taught him anything, it was that he could survive doing the right thing, even if the right thing was hard.

"Severus?" Hermione called from the entrance from the stairway.

He turned to face her. "How was today?" he asked as she reached him.

"The practicals went so well, Severus," she beamed.

"Obviously."

"Are you all right, Severus? What kind of friend am I to make you come here?"

His stomach lurched pleasantly to hear her call him her friend. "I'm fine, Hermione, honest. Where is your telescope?"

"I didn't bring it. I'm tired, Severus. And I honestly don't care about Astronomy. I didn't even take it after third year. I just thought I'd try for another NEWT. Will you just sit with me and let me go over things in my head?"

Severus cast a cushioning charm on the stone floor of the tower. He sat down with his back against the wall near the door, putting his legs out before him. His stomach lurched again when she sat very close to him, hips and elbows and shoulders touching.

He watched as she looked up into the night sky. He, too, put his head against the inner wall of the tower and looked up over and above the parapets. He listened as she named the constellations visible to the naked eye. He pointed out Horologium. Hermione couldn't find it, and it was sweet torture when she placed her head on his shoulder so that she could follow the line of his arm until she found it.

They found all the constellations they could find and he heard Hermione sigh. "I don't know what I would have done without you these last five months, Severus." She paused. "Well, I do know exactly how I would have been these last couple of weeks, and it's not pretty," she joked.

Severus took a deep breath. "Hermione, you and I are," he paused, wanting to get this right, praying that he would not lose her tonight, "connected."

"I feel that, too," she interjected, sounding relieved.

Severus looked at her, confused.

She continued, "I've never had a friend that understands me. Ron and Harry love me and they are my family. But they don't get me, not like you do. You have saved my life, done so much for me. You've been a better friend to me than I could have ever imagined. You are my best friend," she finished shyly.

Severus had not heard anyone use that term since Lily. "I… you saved my life, too, Hermione." A deluge of thoughts about Lily, about the Sequitur Simul, about their age difference and more poured over him. But in that moment, he turned to look at the woman who was the one he thought about when he woke in the morning and when he went to bed at night. He smiled softly at her and wanted her to know the truth. "You're my best friend, too," he said softly.

She smiled back at him and they both went back to looking at the stars and let the moment wash over them.

After a few minutes, Severus looked at Hermione. "You're never going to use Astronomy again your entire life."

"I know. It's useless," she chuckled. "Help me up. My arse is frozen."

"Bossy little witch," he grumbled, getting to his feet. He took her hands and pulled her up, smiling.

"See?" she laughed. "You get me!"


	12. January 1999

**Author's Note: I think it was Stephen King who reviewed Harry Potter Book 7 and talked about how Rowling was able to ramp up and dial down the pace. This chapter is a dial down chapter. Next chapter, we're going to ramp it up! House points to all of you who are reviewers! You are the fake Stephen King to my fake Rowling. Total aside: Filius says something at the end of this chapter and it's the only part of this fanfic that I read to my husband. He liked it. But he has to say that! Ha! Enjoy!**

**January 1999**

Hermione had gone to spend the Christmas holidays at the Burrow, but arrived back at Hogwarts on January 2nd, a few days before students were set to return. Severus was in his office brewing for the Infirmary when she walked in waving a paper.

"Severus!" she exclaimed, and then she nervously said, "Oh."

Severus looked over his shoulder to see her looking him up and down.

"What are you wearing?"

Severus put a stasis spell over two steaming cauldrons and turned around, wiping his hands on a towel. "I usually don't bother with my frock coat when I brew alone." He said this as casually as possible, but made a mental note of her reaction. Severus had always dressed well; after growing up poor and being teased for his clothing, he had decided early as an adult that would never happen again. He never thought of his custom-tailored flat-front trousers and white button-down shirt as anything extraordinary. On the contrary, Severus thought his frock coat was a thing of beauty and gravitas. But obviously Hermione saw something she liked. "What are you holding?"

"Oh! My results came!"

"How did you do? Are you happy?" He held out his hand to receive her paper.

"All 'O's. And yes, I'm very happy. And glad it's over!"

He smiled at her. "Congratulations. Well deserved. Especially the 'O' in Banshee Studies. I was particularly worried about that one," he deadpanned.

"Oh, shut it, you." She took her paper back. "What are you brewing?"

"Pepper Up and Headache Tonic. If you've got time, you can help me."

She went to a shelf on the right and grabbed a mortar and pestle. She grabbed a short section of a bicorn horn and got to work grinding it. "How was Christmas?"

Severus hummed in response as he chopped mandrake root. "Good. Quiet. A little too quiet. How was your Christmas?"

"Good. Loud," she replied. "A little too loud. The Burrow at Christmastime is always packed. It's nice, but I was ready to come back." She turned toward him. "Why didn't you come on Boxing Day? Molly said she invited you."

"I spent Boxing Day with Draco and Lucius and Narcissa."

"Oh. Did you have fun?"

"Yes; it was at Draco's flat. Watching Lucius and Narcissa be polite yet judgmental about his new home was fun."

"How… quaint," Hermione intoned, pretending to be pretentious.

"Exactly. But Draco told us stories about the MLE. It was relaxed. I haven't been in a room with a relaxed Malfoy in years and years."

"The Burrow was relaxed, too. Well," she rethought, "as relaxed as you can get with that many people in one house with people going in and out continuously and yelling to people three floors above. It was sad without Fred, but it was the good kind of sad where people tell funny stories. You're crying, but at least you're laughing at the same time."

Hermione released the stasis charm and started adding ingredients to her cauldron. She groaned when her hair fell into her line of vision as she looked into her cauldron, stirring.

Severus stood behind her and swept all of her hair into a ponytail. She startled slightly but did not stop stirring. He twisted it and then put it into a messy bun, securing it with a quill that he accio'd wandlessly. He stepped back to admire his work. "It's not as pretty as what you usually do, but it'll have to work."

She glanced at him and smiled to her cauldron. 'Thanks."

Two nights later, Severus opened the door to his office to find Hermione on the other side. "Why didn't you just come in?" he asked, surprised.

Hermione blushed. "I don't know. I'm here on business, not to hang out, so I thought maybe I shouldn't."

"You think too much."

"I do!" She laughed and entered his quarters. She put her bag down on the floor by her side of the couch and sat down.

Severus called for tea and watched as she took her notebook out of the bag.

She took her tea from him and smiled. "Sorry to come over so late, but I just need to get some stuff sorted. Filius thinks my Protean project is 'too dark' to not include you. Or Professor Langham." At this she rolled her eyes. "As if."

Severus' eyebrows contracted. "Too dark for Filius?" he repeated.

"Yes! He said he just isn't comfortable with some aspects of what I wrote in my project proposal and that he can help me with the charm work but that you - someone - needs to supervise me as well. I mentioned that it might need blood magic or something similar and he said that to be safe I needed supervision."

Severus nodded. "Let me see your proposal." Part of him didn't want to look too excited about her continued presence in his life, and part of him was genuinely curious. She handed it to him and he skimmed it. It looked to be a considerable expansion of the Protean coins that she had created for the DA. He had heard about the coins. They were impressive in their own right. But the coins had been one-way communication and she now wanted the ability to do two-way communication. There really didn't seem to be anything dark on the surface. There was the chance that there might be blood magic involved, but that was a minor consideration. He set the papers down. "That's a very challenging project. I think Filius is being overly cautious-"

"That's what I thought, too!"

"But", he interjected, "in today's political climate, you can't blame him for being cautious. We don't need a 'She-who-must-not-be-named.'"

Hermione rolled her eyes but grinned. "So will you help me?"

"Yes. It wouldn't be good to let my life get too easy," he deadpanned.

"Thank you!" she beamed. "I just couldn't sleep wondering what I was going to do if you said no."

Severus nodded. "Tell me what this will do that patronuses and owls cannot. Obviously, this would be more discreet."

"Definitely more discreet and this would allow for instant communication over long distances. It won't put owls out of business, but for that one person you talk to the most, it would be very efficient. Have you heard of cell phones?"

"Yes," Severus answered. "I am a half-blood and I have a Muggle home that I live in during the summers. I read Muggle newspapers. But they are anything but discreet. They are the size of a brick."

"They are now," Hermione began, "but Muggles electronic gadgets shrink over time. I think cell phones will fit in your pocket one day. I actually started with that idea. But I don't think that kind of communication is possible: any person to any person. But I could have a notebook to instantly write my parents all the way in Australia and it would show up in their notebook. Right now, I have to floo to London to make an expensive long-distance phone call - early in the morning or late at night so that my parents will be awake - from a phone booth. Or I can write them and send an owl. But they can't call me and letters through the Muggle post take forever to get to Hogwarts."

"And how do you think your parents will react to you asking for a blood sample for a magical notebook?"

Hermione smirked. "Yeah, I'm not going to worry about that part just yet. I would like it for my parents but there's a bigger picture, too. Harry could have safely written me fifth year and not been kept in the dark. You could have safely communicated with someone in the Order. Harry would like to communicate more with Ginny while she's playing Quidditch in other cities. There are all sorts of applications."

Severus was touched that one of her examples was his isolation her seventh year. "Get to work, woman."

Hermione started to show up at Severus' quarters every few days after dinner. He would be grading papers or reading, and his door would open. He'd look up to see her head popping in to see if he was around. If he was, she'd come in and plop her bag down and sit on her spot on the couch. Most of the time, she would pull out her notebook for her project and they would talk through her latest theories. But sometimes, she'd pull out a book on Transfiguration or some other book. Sometimes, she was in a quiet mood; sometimes, he would set whatever he was doing down because there was no chance he would be able to read with how much she would talk.

Hermione sniggered. "Did you read the article about shrinking potions in Potions Quarterly?" she asked one Saturday night. They were having a middle ground kind of night with mostly reading interspersed with talking.

"Yes." Severus put down his book. "Why did you?"

"What do you mean?" Hermione put down her own book and looked at him.

"Why are you reading Potions Quarterly? I thought your Potions days were behind you."

Hermione frowned at him. "Don't you read Charms or Transfiguration journals?"

"Sometimes," Severus replied. "If Filius tells me it's a good one or if Minerva tells me there's something in Transfiguration Today that will interest me or annoy me. Pomona copies important articles from her Herbology journals. Do you read all of them?"

"Yes. I read to get inspiration."

Severus snorted. "And did reading an article about 'improving' topical shrinking potions for cosmetic uses, 'temporarily shrinking your nose for a party,' I think was their example, inspire you?"

Hermione rolled her eyes. "No. It was ridiculous. There are charms for that. But I'm reading the back issues. I don't have anyone to tell me which ones were good. But that inventor was inspired by a charm. So I figure I might be inspired by a potion." Hermione went back to reading her book.

The next night, Severus knocked on the door to Hermione's quarters. Her eyes widened when she opened the door to see Severus.

"Severus!" She opened the door. "Come in," she said, but Severus knew she had been caught off-guard, and he also knew that her quarters didn't have a sitting room and he had no intention of invading her personal space.

"No, I just came to drop these off," he said, handing her a rather large stack of periodicals.

"What are these?" she asked, leaning against the door jamb and leafing through them. "Wow. Some of these are old." Severus scowled at her, and she laughed. "Sorry."

"Those," he looked at the periodicals in her hands, "are the good ones. I don't want to hear about shrinking potions for noses ever again."

Her smile reached her eyes. "Understood." She looked at him. "Thank you." As he was about to say something, she added, "Did you go through all of these today? For me?"

"Obviously," he intoned, but softened it with a small smile.

She smiled back at him. "Thank you again."

He nodded. "Good night, Hermione."

"Good night, Severus."

He walked away and heard her door shut.

Every Hogwarts teacher knew the lunar calendar; it was of utmost importance. Not because they taught at a magical school, but because they taught teenagers. He imagined every Muggle teacher kept tabs on the lunar calendar as well. Teenagers were weirder than usual at the full moon. It was undeniable if you had more than a few months of experience teaching.

Severus kept tabs on the full moon for another reason as well: chess. For three months after Sirius' prank with Lupin as a werewolf, professors were tasked with babysitting Severus on nights with full moons. Dumbledore felt like he couldn't be trusted not to follow Lupin again, but said it was for Severus' wellbeing after the harrowing ordeal. When it was Filius' turn, Filius brought a chess set. Severus liked chess and after Filius beat him twice, Severus concentrated hard to take the third game. Filius had enjoyed playing someone evenly matched with him. Severus soon graduated and didn't see Filius again for a few years until Severus was installed as the new Potions Master. Filius showed up again one full moon almost a year into Severus' tenure. These days they would grouse about the inept Ministry or teaching while they played. Severus always looked forward to this time. He had made sure Hermione was aware that both he and Filius were unavailable at the full moon. Around eight that evening, Filius arrived with his old, beaten up wizards chess set.

After Filius won the first game and they set up for the second game, Severus asked him about Hermione's project. "Just what are you playing at, old man? There's nothing dark about that project. Even if it was, your knowledge of the Dark Arts could run circles around Professor Langham's."

Filius sat back in his chair and considered the younger man before him. "I'm not blind, deaf, or dumb, Severus," Filius chuckled at his own joke. "You've spoken to Hermione more in the last six months than you've spoken to half the staff in eighteen years combined."

Severus looked down at the chess board and pretended to contemplate his opening move, fooling no one.

"She's in good hands with you, Severus. You are very much alike. You would do well with her as a partner."

He looked at Filius and found only honesty in his eyes. "I'm too-"

"Stop talking. Whatever you were about to say is simply fear. And you should be afraid," intoned the diminutive man, looking once more at the chess board. "Love demands much of you."

"I don't know if I love her." It was a half-truth.

"You'll know by the end of the year." Filius laughed and looked back up at Severus. "_She_ demands much of you."


	13. February and March 1999

**Author's Note: Hermione's notebooks are coming into play in this chapter. I've tried my best to format such that it is easy to read, but the document editor doesn't make it easy. As always, thanks for letting me know you're out there with your reviews. This fic is a slow burn, but what say we try to find a little spark? Enjoy!**

**February and March 1999**

Severus watched the notebooks come to life little by little. Hermione's time in his quarters was steadily growing more regular. It was now odder for her to not be around at night. He started finding books in his quarters that were hers: a book about runes on the coffee table, a book about charms on the couch. He smiled when he came across them.

Hermione entered one night and put her bag down and immediately started digging in it.

"Here's your notebook," she said without preamble. She had brought out two notebooks and was handing him the blue one.

He took the notebook. "Is that yours?" he asked, pointing to the red one.

"Yes. It's slightly different because I initiated the spells."

"What does it do?"

"Nothing yet. I need to pair our notebooks."

Severus raised an eyebrow. "How painful is this going to be?"

"It's not. Not giving blood today. I heard you were a vampire, so I did a work-around."

Severus narrowed his eyes. "Smart arse." He sat down beside her.

"All you need to do is say this spell on both notebooks using your wand. No wandless magic, and say it aloud so I can make sure you're doing it correctly." She looked at him. "I mean, I know you'll do it correctly," she fumbled.

Severus rolled his eyes and gestured with his hand to get along with it.

She modeled the wand movements and incantation for him. It was obviously unique, but seemed to pair both the Gemini and the Protean charms. He performed the new charm on both of the notebooks, making each notebook vibrate slightly before going back to normal.

"Clever," Severus said, contemplating. "Do we get to test them now?"

Hermione smiled and drew out two quills and a bottle of ink and set the ink on the coffee table. She handed a quill to Severus. "You have to scoot over there." She gestured towards his end of the couch.

"Are we testing your charm or writing secret notes?"

"Just scoot!" She gestured for him to move.

Severus sighed dramatically but smiled at her as he scooted to his end of the couch with his notebook. "Are you ready?"

"I'm so nervous!"

"Is your boggart now a broken notebook?"

"Arse." She picked up her quill and wrote something and then looked at Severus expectantly.

"Damn, L…" Severus exclaimed, dropping his notebook from his hands onto his lap. Just as he had been about to open the notebook to look in it, it began to glow.

"What did you say?"

"I said, 'damn.' I didn't know the thing was going to glow!" He picked the notebook back up, examining it.

"Were you about to call me 'Lily?'"

"What?" Severus tried to feign ignorance.

Hermione raised an eyebrow, not impressed with his acting job.

Severus sighed. "I honestly don't know what I was about to call you."

Hermione let it drop. "Open it!"

Severus opened the notebook to find Hermione's first message in there and smiled. "It's here."

Hermione started to scoot nearer to him, but he forestalled her, gesturing for her to scoot back to her end.

Hermione laughed and sat back in her spot.

Severus took his quill and looked at the notebook.

_._

_Hello, Severus -H_

_-Hello, Hermione. You made it glow instead of ring like a telephone, I presume? -S_

.

Hermione's notebook glowed and her excitement was tangible. She opened it up, read her message, smiling, and inked her quill.

.

_Trying to be a little more subtle. Obviously, I failed. -H_

_-A subtle Gryffindor. That's original. -S_

.

Hermione laughed. "I can't believe it worked."

Severus looked at her doubtfully. "I'm quite sure you didn't bring down notebooks that you thought would fail."

"All right, no, I didn't think they would fail. But they were untested! I didn't know for sure!" She couldn't contain her grin.

"Brilliant."

"Are they?"

Severus looked at her. "I meant you." He paused. "Now take yours to the fifth floor and let's see if they still work." He teased her by making the "scoot" gesture once more.

"Arse. All right. Thank you, Severus." She packed up her things and left his quarters.

Severus closed his eyes. Hermione had thought that he was about to say, "Lily." When in fact, he was about to say, "Love."

A few minutes later, his notebook glowed.

_._

_Severus? -H_

_-Obviously. I like your notebooks. -S_

_Thank you. -H_

_-You're not Lily, Hermione. -S_

_I know that. -H_

_-I'm glad you're not. -S_

_Good. -H_

_-Good. -S_

_Goodnight, Severus. -H_

_-Goodnight, Hermione. -S_

_._

A few nights later, Severus walked upstairs to her quarters and knocked on her door.

Hermione opened the door, surprised. "Severus!" She was holding up her notebook. "Why didn't you answer me?"

He held up his notebook. "It's not working, Hermione. And it's driving me insane. It's glowing all the damn time."

Hermione laughed at him. "Come in."

He paused at the door but then acquiesced and entered her quarters. It was tiny. It was like someone put a bed and a desk in the restricted section. She sat down at her desk and started comparing the two notebooks. He looked for another place to sit but there wasn't one, so he sat down on her bed.

She took his glowing notebook and put the tip of her wand on it. "Finite Incantatum". She sighed. "Well, yours lasted longer than Harry's."

"Harry has a notebook, too?"

She looked at him. "Yes."

"Who else has one?"

She smiled knowingly, which made Severus feel like he had come across as jealous. "No one."

"When did Harry's start failing?"

"Yesterday morning."

Severus smirked.

"Quit measuring your wand," she joked, rolling her eyes.

He smiled at her and gestured to the notebook. "What do you think is happening?"

"I don't know. The charms aren't lasting as long as I expected."

"How are they anchored to the notebooks?"

"They're not. I'm working on that part. I just thought I'd get more than three days. The charm on the 'Harry Potter Stinks' badges lasted months, for goodness sake!"

Severus knew that the spells on those particular badges had been anchored quite powerfully, but that was a talk for another time, maybe. Severus considered the now not-glowing notebook. "For not being anchored, and for how complex the spell is, I would say that's about right."

Hermione hummed noncommittally. She grabbed a book from her a stack on her desk and started to read it. It was a lazy Sunday night near curfew and Severus didn't have anything else to do, so he scooted back onto Hermione's bed and sat with his back against the headboard. He grabbed the books on her bedside table to look through the stack.

"What are you doing? Shoes off," Hermione directed, looking over her shoulder.

"Bossy little witch," Severus grumbled playfully, toeing off his boots. They landed with a thunk and Hermione laughed.

Hermione turned her chair to face the bed. She put her stockinged feet up on the edge of the bed as she read. Every once in a while, she'd ask his opinion about something she was reading, or he'd discuss a point in the book he had chosen. Otherwise, they read in companionable silence.

After an hour, Severus closed his book, put it back on her bedside table and swung his legs over the side of the bed. He started putting on his boots.

Hermione closed her book and pulled her feet off the bed, watching Severus put on his boots. "I'm sorry, were you bored?"

Severus looked up from his boots, confused. "It's Sunday night. I have rounds with Langham." He finished putting on his boots.

"Oh! I didn't realize it was so late."

They both stood in the cramped space looking at each other.

"I'm not bored when I'm with you, Hermione. I like reading with you, talking with you. And if I was bored, I would find something new to do." He paused, looking at her. "Preferably with you."

She nodded and put her head down slightly, not looking at him.

He wondered for the hundredth time what she saw in Ron and what she did to try to mold herself into something Ron would like. He leaned his head down to hers while at the same time raising her chin. "I'm not Ron, Hermione." He then put a ghost of a kiss on her cheek. He breathed in her scent and then slowly raised his head and looked at Hermione before starting to leave.

She stood there slightly frozen as he put his hands on her shoulders, trying to maneuver past both her and the chair in the cramped space. He made it to the door and she looked at him and smiled softly at him.

"I'll see you at breakfast," he said, then opened the door and slipped out, closing the door behind him.

-o0o-

"There's not a Rune to anchor my charm, Severus!"

"Good morning to you, too, Hermione." Severus said as he sat next to her at the table the next morning. Inwardly he rolled his eyes that he was thinking about how he kissed her cheek last night and how she might have reacted if he had fully kissed her and she was thinking about ancient Runic spells to anchor charms. He remembered being this high strung in his twenties, but he had been starting a job as a spy. He had mellowed with time. Well, he had mellowed recently, he mentally amended. Maybe she would mellow, too. "You might have to develop your own," he suggested off-handedly.

"What?" Her reaction was unpredictably strong.

He looked at her. Maybe mellowing wasn't in the cards for her. "I don't know that for sure, Hermione. Look - here's Filius. Ask him."

Filius looked leery at hearing his name so early on a Monday morning. "What's this?"

"I can't find a Rune to anchor my charm to the notebook. Will I have to develop my own?" she asked, a little calmer.

"It's possible. But they are all similar. Sometimes you can use a known Rune anchor, sometimes, you just need to tweak one a bit."

Hermione stood suddenly. "I've got to go to the Library." And she left.

"Charming girl," Filius said to Severus under his breath, making Severus chuckle.

"I heard her say 'Runes', Bathsheda," Septima teased the Runes professor warningly. They were on the other side of Minerva's empty chair, but they were looking across to Severus and Filius.

"Oh, I don't think she'll darken my door. She didn't to get ready for her NEWT."

Severus' head lifted from his coffee and he looked at Bathsheda. "Not once?"

Bathsheda shook her head. "I think she only got help from you," she answered.

"And poor Langham," Septima laughed. "No, I think she does her best thinking in the lowest levels of the castle. No offense, Filius."

Filius chuckled beside him, looking past Severus to the women. "None taken."

Severus registered the pointed comment but couldn't figure out if Septima was judging Hermione poorly.

At that moment, Minvera walked behind Septima and Bathsheda on the way to her chair. "Who are we talking about?"

Before Severus could answer, Bathsheda answered. "Hermione will need to develop her own Rune anchor. We were discussing whether she might need my help. But she is a smart young woman. And she does her research. I think she'll be just fine." She smiled kindly across Minerva at Severus.

"I agree," said Septima. "She knows what she's doing. Don't you agree Severus?"

Severus nodded into his coffee. "I have a high opinion of her. Gryffindor nature and all."

"Severus," Minerva scolded, opening her Daily Prophet.

Bathsheda and Septima smiled at Severus and went back to their prior conversation.

A little over a week later, he received his new notebook. Just picking it up told him that her magic was woven through it. "I can already tell it works."

Hermione smiled. "Can you feel it?"

Severus nodded. "Ready to test it?"

"Yes!" She wrote a note in her notebook and this time Severus didn't startle when it glowed.

_._

_It works! -H_

_-It does indeed. -S_

_._


	14. April 1999

**Author's Note: Long, relaxed chapter for your mid-week enjoyment! **

**April 1999**

Severus looked at Hermione, sitting with him on his couch. "Notebooks are done. What's next?"

"I want a charm that allows people to instantly apparate to where they are guided, versus apparition determined by the person doing the apparition."

"Are you apprenticing in Charms or Dark Arts, Hermione?" he deadpanned.

"Ha ha."

He studied her. "You're studying his works, Hermione."

"Of course I am!"

Severus raised an eyebrow, surprised that she admitted it so freely.

"He was brilliant. And evil. And the thought that we have only seen his brilliant concepts used in a war - used against me, by the way - is not okay. I look at the things he did and wonder what he could have done if he weren't," she struggled for words, gesturing with her hands.

"A Dark Wizard hell bent on world domination?" Severus offered.

"Yes! But it had to be all of those things. We have mediocre Dark Wizards, fine. We have mediocre people who value blood purity, fine. But he was not mediocre. And all those things coupled with his brilliance drove him to invent amazing things."

"And next on your list is the Dark Mark?" he asked, wary.

"Yes. I don't think it will be that hard."

Severus goggled at her.

"He's not the only one that did this. Dumbledore did the same thing, just nicer. But his knowledge died with him. To my knowledge, Ron's deluminator was unique. And now, we don't think it does anything but turn on and off lights. We can't recreate what happened to Ron during the war. But I know it can be done. By two different wizards. And that's good enough for me."

"Hermione, the Dark Mark," he began, but couldn't finish, unconsciously rubbing his left arm.

Hermione scooted over to sit by him and put her hand on top of his. "I'm not recreating the Dark Mark. Free will, Severus. No one forced Ron to apparate to us. He had a choice. That's all I want to give people. A choice."

"I trust you, Hermione. What do you think people will use it for?"

"There are a thousand applications. Your friend's never been to your house so they don't feel comfortable apparating from a picture, send them a," she gestured something small with her hands, "something - I don't know what it will look like. Someone can't figure out how to apparate? Let them do it this way once so they can experience the feeling that they're supposed to lean into. Maybe everyone could own one that allows you to side-along-apparate a loved one safely to St. Mungo's in case of an emergency. I just need to get the Charms perfect so that people can apply them however they want."

Severus considered her. "Interesting. If anyone can do it, it's you."

Hermione laughed. "That didn't sound like a compliment."

Severus narrowed his eyes. "You know it was. You are brilliant and you are often like a dog with a bone. You won't let it go until you get it right."

"I do have that reputation," Hermione agreed. "It means a lot to me that you think I can do it."

"Why does it mean so much, my opinion?"

"Because you're you," she said quietly. "Ever since my first day at Hogwarts, I've known who truly wields magic."

"Everyone is magical here, Hermione."

"Everyone here is magical, yes, but not everyone here wields magic like a samurai with his sword. I wish I could have seen you save Draco's life. The way Harry describes you healing him is almost reverential and Harry has the eloquentness of a blunt axe."

Severus nodded in appreciation, because he had been rendered speechless. He had only ever wanted to be seen. He had a Dark Mark on his arm so that he could be seen as worth a damn to someone. "I see you, Hermione. Don't ever think I don't see you and how powerful you are. Whatever knowledge I have is at your disposal."

"Do you mean that?"

"I won't teach you Dark Magic just for the sake of Dark Magic. I won't teach you to fly; it's not technically dark, but it's definitely grey. But everything else I know I will teach you if you want to know."

"Thank you," she looked genuinely touched. "And I don't want to learn to fly! Ever. Even brooms don't like me. I doubt I could make that spell work. My whole body screams, 'put me down!'"

"But I wonder how it would be if I took you flying," he teased.

"Have you ever wrestled an octopus while flying? Because that would probably be similar," she deadpanned.

"Duly noted."

The next week was the start of the Easter holidays. Most students stayed at Hogwarts, but there were no classes. That Monday, Severus and Hermione caught up on grading to free up their week; neither of them were procrastinators. Tuesday, Severus brewed and Hermione sat at his desk working. It was deja vu from when she was working on Potions and he would grade papers.

"Tomorrow," he began, "is the first Wednesday of Easter hols."

"Correct," she said, distractedly.

"I will be doing exactly nothing tomorrow. If you want me, you know where to find me. But otherwise, I will be having House Elves keep me supplied with sandwiches and tea and I don't plan to leave my quarters."

Hermione looked up. "Is this tradition? Because you have this very well thought out."

"Tradition. I get Wednesday, Minerva usually chooses Thursday, but this year we gave her the whole weekend; she's going to go visit family. Filius gets Friday. There's a schedule in the Staff Room. If a Slytherin breaks his arm tomorrow, not my problem. We even give Sybil a day. Though no one knows why she needs a day. That pretty much describes her every day."

"Is that what that sign-up is for? It's just a parchment stuck on the door. It doesn't even have a title!"

"Doesn't need a title. And it's not cursed," he added, smirking.

She raised an eyebrow teasingly. "Amateurs. Do apprentices get a day?"

He scoffed. "Of course not."

She narrowed her eyes again.

"You can share mine under one circumstance," he teased.

"Do tell."

"Think carefully before you agree, Hermione," he said with mock seriousness.

She rolled her eyes.

"You have to take the day off. I don't work. I don't brew. I don't research," he said that last part quite deliberately. "I read for enjoyment and do whatever else I want. But I don't work."

Hermione bit her lip. "A whole day lost?"

"A whole day found," he corrected. "You probably haven't read for enjoyment in over a year."

"I read journals," she invented.

"No journals. Nothing educational. I'm not sure you can do it." He knew that he was playing dirty poker and baiting her to join him.

"I know you're baiting me," she said annoyed. It was as though she had read his mind. "I'll think about it."

"The Elves bring me brunch at ten. If I don't see you by 9:45, then I'll see you Thursday at breakfast."

"Brunch at ten? You are obnoxious," she teased.

"I am tomorrow."

"I'll think about it," she repeated.

She opened up the magical doorway between his office and quarters at 9:40 a.m. to see a smirking Severus in a button-down grey shirt and trousers, looking over his shoulder from the couch.

"Quit smirking."

"Fine. Come in, I'm about to order brunch for two."

She walked in, completely empty handed in trousers and a light sweater. He looked her up and down and nodded in approval.

"Do you want anything special?"

"Mimosas? Is that okay?" she asked tentatively.

"Obviously," he intoned. "Anything else?"

She shook her head. Severus summoned a House Elf and put in their order including Mimosas and an additional, "Surprise us."

Minutes later, Quill laid out a spread on Severus' coffee table that was fit for a king. Mimosas, tea, juices, fruit, pastries, toast and jams. They agreed that the Eggs Benedict must have been the "surprise me" element. Severus played host and served them breakfast as they sat on the floor leaning against the couch. They took their time nibbling on the assorted offerings and talking. Severus smiled as Hermione's Mimosa glass refilled itself and made her yelp in surprise.

He had thought about this day for weeks and wondered if he would be able to convince her to join him. His desire to be with her more warred with the fact that they were friends and he had no clue where her friendly affection ended and any romantic feelings began, if at all. Their tangled past and their non-traditional present made him clueless about a potential future. Eventually, he gave up on that line of thinking and just decided to spend as much time as possible with her until he got more clues from Hermione. Something told him that rushing a woman twenty years his junior was not the correct path.

After they talked and ate their fill, they called a House Elf to take away the leftovers. Severus got up and went to his bookshelf. "Fiction section only," he warned, and she joined him. They each chose a book and went to the couch. Severus propped his feet up on his coffee table and began reading The Three Musketeers by Dumas. Hermione chose a novel set during World War Two.

"I don't think I chose well," Hermione added after an hour.

"That's an excellent book," Severus said, surprised.

"Yes, well, I don't fancy anything about war right now," she responded.

Severus nodded. "Pick something else."

"I like The Three Musketeers," she said offhandedly.

Severus looked at her and raised an eyebrow. "Do you want me to read to you?"

Hermione nodded.

"Do you want me to start from the beginning?"

"No, I've read it many times. Wherever you're at is fine."

Severus nodded and began reading. He well knew that his voice was special. It was the only thing that he inherited from the Prince Patriarchs. His grandfather's voice had been rich and low and quite memorable. He began reading and looked over at Hermione. She smiled at him. He continued reading to her. An hour later, Hermione adjusted her position. He faltered on a word or two when she laid her head on his lap and put her feet up on the opposite end of the couch. But he quickly regained his composure and continued reading. He read the words aloud but didn't take in one of them. His mind kept informing him that this seemed like a stretch beyond "normal friend" behavior. Maybe it was normal for Hermione, he thought, but that didn't matter to him. He liked it.

After a while, he stopped talking. Hermione looked up at him. "Tired?"

Severus shook his head. "Your hair," he said, smiling softly.

"It's a mess, isn't it?"

He reached out to touch it, something he had wanted to do since she laid her head in his lap. He wound an unruly curl around his finger. "Not a mess. It's like," he paused. "It's like the first year that won't stop talking."

"You did not just call my hair Jacob Wellington."

Severus chortled. "Not quite that bad. Mr. Wellington blurts out nonsense. Your hair communicates. Is that better? I always know what mood you're in, how late you've stayed up working, if you're stressed or relaxed. I like your hair."

"So what you're saying is that my hair and your eyebrows do the talking for us?" She reached up and traced his eyebrows, smiling up at him.

"Something like that," he acquiesced.

After a couple of hours of reading and talking interspersed with Severus occasionally winding Hermione's hair around a finger, they came to a stopping point. Hermione sat up and stretched and Severus put his legs down from the coffee table.

"I know where we're going for dinner," she said imperiously.

Severus raised an eyebrow in question.

"I know this great little chippy close to where I grew up. Hogwarts is forever swinging between healthy and feast, but it never quite offers up greasy goodness."

Severus considered her. "Greasy goodness. And are you qualified to measure up true greasy goodness? I grew up in a considerably poor neighborhood. Our neighborhood wrote the book on greasy goodness."

"No," she answered definitively, "this place takes the prize. And it's a little over a mile walk from the nearest apparition point, so we'll be good and hungry by the time we get there. Hopefully the weather is nice there."

"I will allow you to do a charm if it's raining. I won't call it cheating. You just can't start developing any _new_ charms," he deadpanned.

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Are you dressed Muggle enough?" she asked, appraising his dress.

"This is as Muggle as I get, Hermione," he warned.

She laughed. "You're fine. Let's go."

"Send a patronus to Filius letting him know that you and I are leaving the castle for a few hours."

"What about Minerva?"

"She knows she won't see me at all today. I'm more worried about them looking for you," he answered. He didn't mention that thus far, Minerva seemed absolutely unaware of how much time Hermione spent with him. And he had no desire to open Hermione up to Minerva's overprotective nature.

He felt like he was sneaking out of the castle like a fifth year and by Hermione's nervous laugh as he shut the front doors of the castle behind him, she was thinking the same thing.

"Look, Hermione is sneaking out of the castle. Again," he teased.

Hermione laughed. "I deserve that."

Severus undid the chains and they walked outside of the Hogwarts grounds. Hermione watched as he rechained the gates with a tap.

"Are you doing the honors?"

She faced Severus and held out her hand. "Ready?"

Severus tucked a lock of hair behind her ear with his left hand as his right hand grabbed hers. "I trust you."

They arrived in a wooded area, but Severus could hear a road nearby.

"All good?" Hermione asked.

"All good. Which way?"

They started walking and after about thirty minutes ended up in front of what could only be described as a hole in the wall.

Right before they entered, Hermione exclaimed, "Severus! Money! I forgot!"

Severus smiled at her. "I have it."

Hermione blushed. "I'm so embarrassed. I can apparate us here but not pay for fish and chips."

"It's on me," and he opened the door and ushered her in.

They ordered their fish and chips and went to a booth in the corner. Hermione slid into the side of the booth facing the door, taking Severus aback.

Hermione realized that Severus, too, wouldn't sit with his back to the door, so she slid over to make room for him and he slid in next to her.

"Thanks," he said in a low voice.

"Never quite goes away, does it?"

"No." He smiled softly at her. "Now, let's see if your chippy holds a candle to mine."

She smiled back at him. "You're going to cry it's so good."

They took their first bites of the fish and they both melted. It at once brought him back to his childhood but he was happier by a factor of ten because he was next to Hermione.

"I knew mine was better," she said smugly, hitting his shoulder with her own.

He looked at her and laughed. "Maybe a tie," he joked.


	15. May 1999

**Author's Note: Just a reminder that italicized portions are their notebooks. I'm going to post the June chapter earlier than usual in just a couple of days - my way of saying, "Thank you so much!" for the reviews! Y'all are amazing and gracious and fun.**

**May 1999**

May went by in a rush of students revising and Severus trying to push his students to finish strong. May was always marked with students that were, in a word, done. They were done doing homework, done revising, done with everything. But this year seemed especially hard for Severus' Potions students. He didn't recall having this many students asking for help two years ago when he taught Potions last. His only theory was that their last two years of Potions had been so different, or had not been available to his muggleborn students, that it was markedly harder for them. Hermione came down to his office one night after dinner, obviously wanting to visit, but found him instead in his classroom helping four NEWT students revise. He looked up to see her turn around and leave.

_._

_I saw you leave earlier tonight. I'm sorry you couldn't work in my quarters. -S_

_-It's okay. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know if your students would think it's awkward. I'm working in my quarters. -H_

_I think I'm going to have students in my office until the test. Some of them are struggling. -S_

_-I've been getting up early. I was thinking of going to breakfast early. -H_

_Early breakfast sounds like just the thing. -S_

_-Goodnight, Severus. -H_

_Goodnight, Hermione. -S_

.

The next morning, he entered the Great Hall about a half-hour earlier than usual to find Hermione sitting at the table reading. The only other Professors were Sinestra and Vector.

He sat down next to Hermione and she put her book down. She smiled at him. "How are you?" she asked, her tone laced with concern.

He groaned into his coffee. "My NEWTs students are going to be the death of me."

"Have you asked them what they like about potions?" she asked, smiling.

He smiled at her and knew they were both remembering her own meltdown six months earlier. "That was only for one special over-prepared war heroine."

"I know you'll help them, Severus."

Severus sighed. "How are you? How is your project?"

"It's fascinating. I think I know the basics of what Voldemort did versus what Dumbledore did. Very similar. The differences are very subtle. It's so amazing." She went into the details with him as the staff table began to fill with more professors.

"You keep talking like that and I'll have to stop calling it 'foolish wand-waving,'" he joked.

"Never!" she gasped in mock surprise.

Mornings with Hermione became Severus' lifeline over the next few weeks.

Severus was getting into bed two days before the Potions NEWT and OWL examinations when his notebook glowed. For a split second he was tempted to ignore it. It had been an impossibly long day with NEWT students revising in his classroom up until curfew an hour ago.

_._

_Are you awake? -H_

_-Obviously. -S_

_Do you have a book on Runes anchoring Dark Magic? -H_

.

Severus mentally went through his book collection.

_._

_-Yes. -S_

_Can I come get it tonight? -H_

_-Yes. -S_

.

Severus got out of bed and put on his robe and slippers. He began to search through his books looking for the two that came to mind that might hold the information she needed.

When the opening to his office dissolved, there was no one there and his wand was out as he heard Hermione call, "It's me!"

As he lowered his wand she came into view starting with her hair tied in a messy bun that he could tell had fallen and been put back up multiple times. He watched as the rest of her came into view as her disillusionment spell dissipated. Her eyes were slightly wide taking in his form. He was wearing black silk pajama bottoms and a warm grey robe, but it was obvious that he wasn't wearing a shirt. What did she expect after midnight?

Then it was his turn to get a shock when she, too, was in silky pajamas, covered by a light pink silky robe that clearly showed that she didn't normally reside in the much cooler dungeons. What did he expect after midnight?

"Cold, Hermione?" he teased.

She folded her arms across her chest and glared at him, blushing and trying not to smile.

"Accio Blanket," he said lazily. He draped the blanket over her shoulders to wrap around her.

"Thanks."

"It was the only way I was going to be able to talk to you," he muttered, walking to the bookshelves.

He heard her titter as she followed him. "Sorry."

He pulled a book and handed it to her. Then he looked again at the books and found the second one. "I think I have one more book that could be helpful. Green spine, gold lettering. Something about anchoring."

He started on the left side of the bookcases and she started on the right. He looked over at her as she read the spines: messy hair, covered in a blanket, tatty old fuzzy slippers. He could not desire her more at that moment if she had been dressed in a designer gown.

Hermione glanced over at Severus, who hadn't moved. He continued to look at her and she smiled softly at him. He leaned on his Occlumency to clear his mind. He turned back to the books. He spotted the book an arm's length away to his right and plucked it from the shelf.

When she heard the sound, Hermione stood from her kneeling position where she had been looking on the bottom shelf.

She stood before him and bit her lip. "Thank you. I appreciate you letting me come over so late."

"You're welcome."

She started to remove the blanket to return it to him when his hand stilled hers. "Return it some other time." He took out his wand and tapped her head gently as he reapplied a disillusionment charm. He turned from where she was standing and walked to the entrance to his office and opened it. He heard her slippers as she walked toward him. He expected her to slip through the opening, but instead he felt a hand on his arm. He then felt pressure as she used his arm to steady herself on tiptoes as she kissed his lower jaw, which was apparently all she could reach in her attempt to kiss him on the cheek.

"You're too tall," she laughed. "Goodnight, Severus."

"Goodnight, Hermione."

She took her hand off of his arm and a few moments later the doorway closed.

The next morning, he saw Hermione at breakfast. He made a show of looking at her chest just to tease her as she walked to her seat. It drew her ire, just as he expected. Her lips pursed and her eyes went comically wide. He couldn't help but smile and chuckle when she flicked the back of his neck painfully as she sat down. They were still breakfasting early, so there were less than a dozen bleary-eyed students to witness their theatrics.

"Arse."

Severus hummed noncommittally.

"What are you doing tonight?"

He turned to look at her. "Why? Do you need something?"

"Can you look over my notes? I know you're working like crazy. I just need someone to make sure I'm on the right track and not splitting my soul in seven at the same time."

"Do you have them with you?"

She reached into her bag and drew out her project journal. She placed it into his outstretched hand.

"I'm letting my first years revise. I'll see how far I can get."

"Are you sure? OWLs and NEWTs are tomorrow."

"I'm sure."

"Thank you. Are you doing okay? Do NEWT students usually need you that much?

"I've only had one NEWT student try to snatch revision notes from my hand this year," he deadpanned.

Hermione narrowed her eyes. "You are so ornery this morning!"

"Lack of sleep. To answer your question: no, I thought my NEWT students were doing well. They had been progressing through the seventh year material fine. But as we started revising sixth year material more thoroughly, four of them fell apart. They need this NEWT. Three of them want to apprentice at St. Mungo's. Everyone knows why they didn't get a normal education last year, but I don't think the examiners are grading on a curve this year just because of a little thing like a war."

"Damn war," she replied. "Did you see the prophet on May 2nd? Acting like everything's all better now? Eff them."

Severus raised his eyebrows. "Which of us is the ornery one?"

She smiled. "Lack of sleep."

He read her notes while his first years revised. As always, her notes challenged him and inspired him. He made notes in her margins and did have to warn her about how powerful and permanent one of the rune anchors that she had found and incorporated last night could be. He wondered if she even slept last night.

At lunch, he returned her journal. She thanked him and looked through it to find his comments.

Filius saw her looking through her journal and leaned forward to talk to Severus. "Thank you for your expertise, Severus. I feel much better with you overseeing that part."

Severus nodded and made a mental note to repay Filius for his twinkling and his acting job next full moon.

That afternoon after classes he mentally told himself to gird his loins for Round Two. His four floundering NEWT students and a few OWL students arrived at the classroom shortly after his last class let out. He started his OWL students on a practice potion and started answering revision questions from his NEWT students as he kept one eye on his OWL students from one table over.

Three hours later, Hermione walked into the classroom and opened the door to his office and propped the door open. He then heard her call for Quill. The snap of Quill's apparition made everyone look at Severus. Half a minute later, the sound was repeated. The smell of food wafted in from Severus' office.

"I'm starving," one of the boys said.

A chorus of agreements and students craning their necks to see what was in the office prompted Severus to say, "Put a stasis on your potions," to which the students readily complied and looked at Severus for direction.

"Wait here." He walked into his office to see a mountain of sandwiches and jugs of pumpkin juice along with glasses and plates.

Hermione smiled at him. "Dinner just ended in the Great Hall, Severus. Please eat." She said this so quietly that the students couldn't hear.

He smiled softly at her. He was humbled and grateful for her support.

Severus called to his students, "Come eat."

This was met with the sound of an invading hoard even though it was only seven students. The students ignored Hermione completely as they stood around eating sandwiches, drinking juice and talking to each other.

Severus ate a sandwich and stood with Hermione at his personal brewing station.

"I read your notes," Hermione said. "I'm going to change some things. I can't believe I misunderstood the use of that Rune. Merlin, that would have been interesting- in a 'sorry I ruined your life' kind of way."

"Indeed."

"What are they working on?"

"The fifth years are trying to get last minute potion work in. Swots. The seventh years are trying to comprehend Scarpin's theories."

"Which do you want me to take?"

Severus raised an eyebrow in surprise. "Repeat that."

"I'm not leaving. You might as well put me to work. Neville passed five years of potions, lest you have forgotten."

Severus smirked. "Take the swot fifth years. Watch them and guide them, but the most important part is to shield them if it goes wrong. I want your wand out as you watch them." He looked at her seriously.

"I will." She put her hand on his hand and squeezed but quickly took it off.

They worked together for the next three hours. Hermione guided the younger students through four potions typically tested in the OWL exam. She kept her wand out and Severus heard her instruct them in the same manner he did, though a little more encouragingly. Thankfully, he was able to concentrate on his NEWT students and two of them had a breakthrough and helped him drag the last two students into comprehending the difficult material. One of the NEWT students started crying when she finally understood. That was the cue for everyone to end for the night. Her friend took the overwhelmed student out of the classroom and the other two stayed to thank Professor Snape for staying so late. The OWL students all vanished their incomplete final potions, cleaned up their stations and thanked Professor Snape as they left as well.

Severus and Hermione, both exhausted, looked at one another in the suddenly empty classroom.

"They're going to be fine, Severus."

Severus nodded. "They will. Thank you, Hermione. I owe you."

"We're even."

Just when he thought she was going to say something nice about him helping her last December, she smirked at him. "I'm keeping that blanket."


	16. June 1999

**Author's Note: Short chapter, friends. I told a reviewer that when you read the story in one sitting, it doesn't seem like such a slow burn, but reading it chapter by chapter, even I'm like, dude, let's get to the action. Ha! I'm going to drop chapters a little quicker, because really, Severus needs some lovin'. Are you with me?**

**June 1999**

At the Leaving Feast, Severus was the kind of weary that only teachers in June understand. He had been working from sun up to past sun down every day for almost a month and had successfully prepared his students for their OWLs and NEWTs, which were now thankfully over.

He was subdued all throughout the Leaving Feast. He looked at his Slytherins and tried to gauge if they were upset finishing in second place for the House Cup. Thank Merlin it was behind the Ravenclaws and not the Gryffindors. He was thrilled with how far they had come this year, but he couldn't tell if they were. And then he looked next to him at Hermione. She was leaving first thing tomorrow morning to spend the summer at Grimmauld Place.

"What are you doing after the feast tonight?" Hermione asked.

Severus' brow furrowed. "I don't know. I don't have rounds. Are you packing?"

Hermione shook her head. "I'm packed. I want to go to the Astronomy Tower." She looked at Severus casually, wondering if he would go with her or not.

Severus nodded. "I'll go with you."

"Thanks."

He spent all of Minerva's speech thinking about Hermione: how he was going to miss her, and if he was going to see her at all this summer. The sound of benches scraping brought him out of his reverie.

They sat down on the cushioned ground of the Astronomy tower just as they did last December. He thought about the Sequitur Simul but he was not willing to tell her right before she left for two months. His willingness to risk losing Hermione was nonexistent. While he was quite willing to be less than forthright with her about esoteric magic, he had stopped lying to himself. It was just as Dumbledore had said: that if he ever got to see the real Hermione, that he would like what he saw. He had seen Hermione, and he had fallen in love with her. He felt where her shoulder and hip touched his and longed to touch her, to kiss her. His inner dialogue was constantly chanting, "more." Only his desire to let Hermione control the pace of their relationship kept him from doing so. He no longer cared that she was so much younger, but he did care very much that he gave her the time that she needed. He was not an idiot: if he wrestled with their age difference and history, surely she did as well.

"I'm leaving in the morning."

"Yes."

"I want to go. I want to see my friends. But I don't want to leave you. I've barely seen you recently."

Severus had no answer to this. If he opened his mouth, he was afraid he would tell her not to go.

"I'm going to Australia, too. My international portkey was finally approved."

"That's good," he said quietly. "Maybe it will be better this time. You're safe and happy. That's what they want for you."

Hermione made a noise of disbelief. "We'll see." She sighed. "What will you be doing? Are you staying here or at your house?"

"I'll spend a few weeks at my house and I've been invited to spend a week in France with the Malfoys."

"In France? For a week? Wow."

The hint of jealousy and insecurity in her voice was nice to hear. Maybe he wasn't the only one not wanting to be away from each other. "They're spending most of their time there right now. It's in the country. It's peaceful."

"It sounds nice."

Severus mimicked Hermione's earlier words. "We'll see." He sighed. "I never feel quite at home with the Malfoys. I don't feel at home at my childhood home either. So we'll see if I make it three weeks there. I have some research and brewing I want to do here at Hogwarts."

"Well, it sounds like we'll get to test the notebooks in different places," she said, trying to lift the conversation.

He looked at her. "I would like to hear from you. I will miss you."

"I'm going to miss you, too," she said, looking down.

Sometimes, he wondered if she looked down just so he would lift her chin. He let go of her chin. "I'll be here when you get back."

She smiled at him. "I'm glad."

They were still slightly turned towards each other as Severus' eyes dropped down to her lips and he leaned slightly towards her.

"I'm happy for your Slytherins," Hermione said, changing the subject abruptly.

Severus leaned his head back against the wall. "Thank you." He took a deep breath, trying to find center once more. "I'm proud of them. I'm concerned about some of them. They're so much better off here than they are at their homes. Their families are horrible dark influences."

"Is home where you first learned of the Dark Arts? Sirius said you knew more dark spells when you were a first year than the older kids."

Severus rolled his eyes. _Nothing like talking about Sirius to kill a mood_, he thought sardonically. "Sirius was an idiot. I knew maybe four hexes. How many spells can an eleven-year-old know?"

"But you did get into the Dark Arts," Hermione stated, frowning.

"Yes. My mother loved the Dark Arts. Do you remember the first time you stepped into Grimmauld Place?"

"Vividly." She wrinkled her nose.

"The Blacks and the Princes would have been great chums. Earlier generations probably were."

"Your mother's family?"

Severus nodded. "_Toujours Pur_. They were cut from the same cloth. Blood Purity nonsense. Libraries filled with books about the Dark Arts. I only visited the Prince Manor a few times, but that was enough."

"But your mother rebelled and married a muggle?"

"She rebelled all right, just not from the Pureblood nonsense. She rebelled against a father that hated her for not being male and carrying on the family name."

Hermione riled and spluttered. "Are you serious?"

Severus nodded sadly. "My mother is what happens when a woman is beat down by both her father and her husband. She was very intelligent. But OWLS and NEWTS don't make you worth a damn to a father who wanted a son above all else. And she was a powerful witch, but being a witch doesn't make you worth a damn to an abusive husband."

"That makes me ill to think about."

"Well, it definitely didn't make for an easy path for me. My mother was only herself when she was teaching me magic - in secret of course, and most of it quite dark. And sometimes she still touted pureblood nonsense even though that had cost her everything. Other times, she was just," he paused, "shrinking. Every year, everything about her diminished. They died; my father died when I was a seventh year. That almost gave me hope that my mother would grow stronger, but it didn't. She died a year later when I was an apprentice."

"I'm sure she was proud of you," Hermione offered weakly.

"I doubt it. I've come to peace with it now, Hermione. I am who I am, for better or worse, because of bad things and good things that happened in my life, just like you. I regret many things, but I can't change the past." He looked at her and could tell that she was sad on his behalf. "Do you understand what I'm trying to tell you?"

She nodded. "That our circumstances shape us."

"And that Sirius was an idiot."

She tried not to smile as swatted his leg. "Severus!" She left her hand on his leg.

He laughed and then sobered. "I regret hurting you, Hermione." Her head was turned toward his and he moved his hand slowly and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear.

She turned her head and stared toward the parapets. "I know." After a minute, she asked, "Sometimes I… do you ever wish… wish that we had just met this year? For the first time?"

The sound barely came out as he whispered, "Yes." He rested his hand on top of hers. They sat for a moment soaking in a desire for things to be different. He sighed. "It's late."

He leaned forward and was about to get off the ground when her hand put pressure on his leg.

"Just… just a little while longer."

He sat back and looked at her. He would stay all night for her.

She looked at him and smirked. "My arse isn't frozen yet."

"It's June, Hermione. We may be here a long time."

Her laughter made him smile.

"Different constellations," she noted, looking over the parapets.

They sat there and named the constellations.

When they ran out of constellations, she put her head on his shoulder. "And you said I'd never use Astronomy again."

He sat there with holding her hand resting on his leg, with her head on his shoulder. And he knew that she would come back to him.

After a while, they left the Astronomy Tower. He walked her to her quarters and as her door clicked shut behind her, the loss felt like a physical ache.

Severus was subdued as he got ready for bed. He extinguished the lights in his bedroom but then saw his notebook glowing from on top of his dresser. He got up and opened the notebook.

_._

_But sometimes… -H_

_-Hermione? -S_

_Yes, of course it's me. -H _

_-But sometimes what? -S_

_Sometimes I don't wish that we had only met this year. -H_

.

Severus closed his eyes and felt a surge of gratitude mixed with his love for Hermione.

_._

_-Sometimes I don't wish that either. -S_

_ Good. -H_

_-Good. -S_

_ Goodnight, Severus. -H_

_-Goodnight, Hermione. -S_


	17. July and August 1999

**Author's Note: Is this the chapter we've all been waiting for?**

**Summer 1999**

Severus and Hermione kept things light over the summer. She wrote him when she was bored in Australia and he wrote her when he was bored in France. He made sure to let her know when he was back at Hogwarts. She made sure to let him know when she was back at Grimmauld with Harry and Ginny. Severus could tell that she was still working on her Apparition project throughout the summer.

_._

_-You're supposed to be taking a break, Hermione. -S_

_Why? -H_

_-I don't know. That's just what people say when it's summer. -S_

_Is that why you assigned us homework over the break every summer? -H_

_-Touche' -S_

_I enjoy it. I'm getting closer. I know I am. Will you be my lab rat when I think it's time? -H_

_-Obviously. -S_

_._

_I think I did it, Severus! -H_

_-How do you know? -S_

_I just know. -H_

_-Congratulations. When do we test it? -S_

_Give me another week to iron out the last wrinkles. -H_

_._

_Are you available next week? -H_

_-Is it time? -S_

_It's time! I would like you to go to Grimmauld Place Tuesday at 2:00 p.m. Harry and Ginny will be there to give you the device and they are going to be the fail-safe. They'll know where you're supposed to be so that if anything goes wrong, you can go back to Harry's and regroup and he can contact me through his journal. And he'll also be there to time when you leave and when you arrive. If you end up in Egypt, I want to know the exact time you left. -H_

_-I don't want to go to Egypt. -S_

_I'll try my best! -H_

_-I'll be at Harry's. -S_

_I can't wait to see you again. I've missed you. -H_

_-I've missed you. -S_

_._

Severus knocked on the door of 12 Grimmauld Place. When the door opened, however, instead of Harry, it was Ginny.

"Miss Weasley," Severus greeted her.

Ginny allowed him to cross the threshold and shut the door but didn't invite him in further.

"Professor Snape," she said, emotionless. "Or shall I call you Headmaster Snape?"

"Gin?" Harry rounded the corner. "Hey, Severus. Gin, let him in."

But Ginny was still staring at Severus. He could tell that she was not angry at him, but that they were about to have a long overdue conversation.

Severus put a hand out to stop Harry as he looked at Ginny. "I don't prefer to be called Headmaster. I don't prefer to be reminded of that year. I imagine you do not either."

"Gin…" Harry began.

Severus forestalled him again. "You weren't there that year, Harry." He turned back to Ginny. "Hello, Ginevra."

Ginny smiled at him, but he could tell she still wasn't done. "That's better, Mr. Snape. But only my ninety-year-old great-aunt Muriel calls me Ginevra. Is that how you want to be viewed, as older?"

"Gin…" Harry groaned.

"You weren't there _this _year, either, Harry. You didn't see the way he looks at her when he thinks no one is watching." She looked back at Severus. "You and I are about to have very intertwined lives. I don't want to see you and think of Hogwarts and I don't want others to see you and think of an old maid. I know you love her. And you know that we love whoever she loves."

Severus nodded slowly. "Understood. Hello, Ginny."

Ginny genuinely smiled at him. "Hello, Severus. Come in. We're glad you're here." She moved to allow him entry past a dumbstruck Harry and into the sitting room. "I'll grab some tea."

Harry sat down and let out a breath. "Didn't know she was going to do that. I am surrounded by headstrong women and they just do whatever the hell they want. It's not like I'm a pushover," Harry exclaimed. "And neither are you! But they…" he gestured into the air. "But apparently we both love strong women, if Ginny is to be believed."

"Yes."

"We wondered," Harry said. "Every letter Hermione owled us was about you. Merlin only knows what she and Ginny talk about."

"You're taking this a little better than I thought you might."

"Still can't be shocked. I've gone from a snake coming out a dead woman to people who purposefully magic walnuts up their… well, anyway, not shocking. And Ginny says you two make sense, so I'm just trusting Ginny. And I trust Hermione, obviously. Does she know you love her?"

"No," Severus answered. "Maybe."

"Of course she knows," Ginny answered, the word "idiots" hung in the air, unspoken, as she carried the tray of tea.

"Then what's the deal?" Harry asked. "How come you two aren't dating or something?"

"You know Hermione - she overthinks everything," Ginny responded. "To her, this friends-to-lovers thing is following the same pattern as her and Ron. And my idiot brother hurt her very badly. More than she lets on. And let's face it, could your history together be any more complicated?"

Severus nodded, grateful that his understanding of Hermione lined up with Ginny's. "She needs time."

"Well, the bad side," Harry began, "is that Hermione can take a long time to think things through. But on the plus side, she always finds the right answer." He looked at the notebook on the coffee table and set down his tea. "Shit. How long has that been glowing?" He read the message and looked at Severus. "You're up in," he checked his watch, "three minutes. I know where you're supposed to go. You're supposed to come back here if either attempt doesn't work. But this is Hermione we're talking about, so I doubt we'll see you again today. I've lifted the wards so that you can apparate straight from here when you're ready." He stood and went to a side table. "This is it," he said simply, holding up a Pez candy dispenser with a cartoon character on top. "She said it would either work or it wouldn't, but that we would know immediately."

Severus stood and took the Pez dispenser from Harry's hand. He shook his head looking at the ridiculous thing. "Albus would have loved this."

Harry smiled at Severus. "That's exactly what I said! He would have displayed it in his office, not a doubt in my mind."

Severus nodded and shook Harry's hand. "Thank you, Harry, Ginny."

"Be safe," Ginny said. "I expect we'll be seeing you around. Eventually."

Severus folded back the character on the Pez dispenser and it flipped back with a satisfying click and then began to glow. He smiled slightly that yet another thing in his possession now glowed thanks to Hermione. A blue orb came out of it and traveled into his chest. The feeling was overwhelming and he knew exactly where to go. He breathed out and nodded to Harry and Ginny, who were looking at him wide-eyed.

"You good?" Harry asked.

Severus nodded. "It works." And he apparated from their sitting room.

A few minutes later, the notebook glowed again and Harry picked it up. "He made it fine!" he told Ginny, who smiled. "Oh wow. Look where she's making him meet her next." Harry handed the notebook to Ginny.

Ginny read it. "Isn't that where-"

"Where he saved us, yeah. Where he gave us the sword. It's also where Ron came back."

Ginny smirked. "Maybe. But it's not Ron she wants to see again this time."

"Oh my god, Severus!" Hermione exclaimed as he arrived the first time, mere feet from where she was standing. She ran to hug him. "It worked! I can't believe it. I'm so happy to see you," she said, letting go and grabbing his hands. She was looking at his hands and rubbing them, making sure he was all there. "Are you fine?"

"Calm down, Hermione, I'm fine." He smiled freely at her, happy to be with her again.

She beamed at him. "I've missed you so much." She looked at the notebook on the ground. "Harry! I have to tell him you're ok and where we're going next, just in case." She picked up the notebook and a quill, jotted a message and then put it back down on the ground.

"It works, Hermione. It's brilliant. _You're_ brilliant. And choosing this," he held up the Pez dispenser, no longer glowing, "is inspired. Albus is laughing and Voldemort is surely turning in his grave."

She laughed. "Thank you, Severus. I couldn't have done this without you. Are you ready to go again?"

Severus nodded and traded the first Pez dispenser for a second one that Hermione handed him.

She picked up her notebook and smiled at him. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath and then apparated away from him once more.

After a minute, he clicked the second Pez Dispenser. It began to glow and the blue orb once more traveled into his chest. "Hermione," he whispered when the feel of her magic entered his chest. He leaned into the feeling once more and apparated.

She was there, eyes wide. "It really works," she said weakly.

He walked over to her and looked around. "You've been here before."

"So have you."

"Why did you pick the Forest of Dean?"

"I felt safe here once, with my parents. I didn't feel safe here last year. I want to feel safe here again."

"Like Hogwarts," he added.

"Like Hogwarts."

He looked at her and frowned. "You're shaking. Do we need to leave?"

She laughed. "No. I'm fine here, actually." She took a couple of steps and touched a large tree, looking up into the canopy.

"Were you afraid you would fail?" Severus asked, concerned.

"Oh no! I knew it would work," she said confidently, leaning her back against the tree.

"Then why are you so nervous?"

"Because you're here. And I've wanted to see you so badly. And because I think too much," she said, looking at him.

He walked slowly over to where she stood. "Yes, you do. And it's one of the many things I love about you." She lowered her chin, but he lifted it back so that she would look at him. He took her hand and laid her hand flat on his chest so that she could feel his heart beating. "I am a man, Hermione. I am not an entry on a timetable or something to check off of a project list. There is no schedule."

"Do you mean that, Severus?"

He nodded and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

"I'm just scared," she said, as her eyes traveled from his lips to his eyes.

"I know." He put his hand back on hers, still resting on his chest. "But I have the patience of Job."

"That's good to know." She smiled at him.

"And," Severus smirked, "I know that my bossy little witch will reemerge one day. And I love that about you, too."

Hermione chuckled. "Thank Merlin. Because that's not going to change." She took her hand from his chest and folded her hand into his.

"Walk with me," Severus said quietly. He led her through the forest to the pond where he hid the sword. "That's the tree. Right across there. That's where I hid. That was the most afraid I've ever been."

"What?" Hermione exclaimed. "How is that possible?"

He pointed at the pond, now so serene and calm and could still hear Harry pounding on the underside of the ice. "He was drowning. The horcrux had pulled him under. I was about to jump in after him when Ron came out of nowhere and then he jumped in. And it took a lifetime for them to come out of the water. The whole war was unraveling before my eyes. I was petrified."

"I never knew." She looked at him. "You were more afraid then than when you were dying?"

"Yes. I was not afraid to die. Of course, that might have been because someone gave me a calming draught."

She laughed and squeezed his hand. She was back.

~oOo~

**Author's Note: I can hear your groans from here. But September's on its way...**


	18. September 1999

**Author's Note: Let's take September for a spin and see if you like it. Enjoy!**

**September 1999**

Severus entered Grimmauld Place to see that Hermione's birthday party was in full swing. He knew everyone there and to his surprise, was greeted warmly by everyone who crossed his path.

Hermione caught his eye and smiled. She came to him. "Thank you for coming!"

"Happy Birthday, Hermione." He looked at her. She was so unlike the girl he taught. She was wearing a blue dress that clung to every curve. "You look beautiful."

Hermione blushed. "Thank you."

"Where's Hermione?" It was George, standing on a chair. He found Hermione and waved her over. "I have something for the birthday girl!" he called out loudly.

The whole party groaned and laughed at the thought of what George might think was an appropriate gift.

She looked back at Severus and smiled. "I'll be back."

Severus climbed the stairs while everyone was focused on George. He sat in the Library of Grimmauld Place trying to gain control over his thoughts. Hermione was too lovely, too close, too everything. Seeing her here tonight and seeing the chasm that still stood between them - the chasm that she seemed unable or unwilling to close - was too much. He stood and walked to the fireplace. He stood lost in his thoughts, but the second he heard the sound of the door opening, he knew it was her. He closed his eyes and willed her to leave before he said something or did something rash. He felt her grow closer until she was standing to his left, looking at the dwindling fire.

"I was looking for you," she said softly.

Severus nodded silently, still looking at the fire.

"I'm so glad you're here."

It was like physical pain not to look at her or talk to her, but if he looked at her…

"Severus?" She grabbed his left hand in hers, causing him to look at her.

She looked nervous. They stood there looking at each other when he realized that he was leaning in to kiss her. She looked at his lips and starting leaning in towards him. He could feel her breath and his hand was reaching for her cheek when he heard the click of the door.

Severus' reflexes were just a hair faster than Hermione's when the door opened. Her wand was out before the door was all the way ajar, but he grabbed her wrist, pointing her wand towards the ground making her non-verbal Stunner hit the carpet, upon which it burned a hole.

Severus stood staring into the middle space over Hermione's shoulder and steadied his breathing.

"Mr. Weasley!" Hermione exclaimed, breathless. "I'm so sorry."

Severus rubbed a small comforting circle on Hermione's wrist to remind her that her wand was still in a combative stance. She looked down at her wrist and glanced at Severus and then sheathed her wand. Severus did a wandless, non-verbal Reparo on the carpet and then turned to look at Arthur.

"My apologies, Hermione, Severus. I should know better than to enter a room without knocking when the house is full of war veterans." He spoke to both of them but was looking at Severus. "Hermione, may I have a word with Severus?"

"Um, yes, yes of course." Severus could feel Hermione look at him but could not look at her in that moment. He felt her leave his side and watched as she exited the room and closed the door.

Arthur sat in one of the wingback chairs and gestured for Severus to sit in the other one. It was a kind gesture and not an order, so Severus sat.

Arthur did not beat around the bush. Severus found Arthur to be a decisive man of action unless his wife was around. "She's too young, Severus."

"No, she's not," he replied evenly.

"She's still at Hogwarts."

"As my peer, not my student." Hours of having this very conversation in his head had prepared him for just such a time.

"I won't allow this," Arthur said with a hint of firmness in his voice that was rare.

"You're not her father, Arthur."

"She is my daughter in all but name. Her parents aren't here. I am." And then after a moment, with an eye of insight borne of hours teaching chess to Ron, he added, "What are you not telling me?"

Did Severus dare tell another person? Could he trust Arthur with this knowledge? He decided he could. "Sequitur Simul."

Arthur took in a long breath, eyes wide. After a long moment he asked, "Does Hermione know?"

"No."

"Does anyone else know?"

"Dumbledore knew." He paused. "And Luna Lovegood knows." Before Arthur could ask the obvious question, he answered it: "She saw Hermione try to hex me. Saw the spell fail. She has kept my secret for years."

Arthur was aghast. "Years?"

"It's been over three years since I found out. But Hermione and I have only become friends since she started her apprenticeship."

"Merlin's beard." He paused. "Severus, you need to tell Hermione."

"You're not _my_ father either, Arthur," Severus replied wearily.

Arthur chuckled. "No, I'm not. Sorry, occupational hazard when you have seven children. Let me try again. Why aren't you telling Hermione?"

"Sequitur Simul is not a spell; no one is compelled to do anything. But the knowledge is a burden. It feels like choice has been taken away from you. I don't want Hermione to wrestle with that burden like I did. It took me months, years really, to reconcile it in my mind. I want Hermione to want me, just me - because of me, not because our magics call to each other. I didn't understand it at first, and what I don't understand, I tend to reject."

"You and your magic are the same thing. It's as if you looked into the Mirror of Erised. Wow, what a gift."

Severus had no answer to that.

"But, Severus, you must see that you must proceed cautiously. You could ruin Hermione's prospects. Apprentices should not be involved with their mentors, ever."

"I'm not her mentor. Flitwick is her mentor."

"But Minerva said you were both listed."

"What?"

"Let me bring Minerva in to this conversation. I think you are going to need her help."

Severus didn't argue so Arthur conjured his patronus, which disappeared through the door of the library.

A minute later, the door opened and Minerva entered. She narrowed her eyes and conjured a chair to sit with Severus and Arthur. "I'm too old for guessing games. What could be so important to have you both look worried during a party?"

Arthur looked at Severus.

"Hermione and I are," he began, but didn't have a way to finish that sentence.

"Hermione and you are what, exactly?" she asked, a stern look on her face.

Arthur interjected. "Nothing, yet, Minerva. Right, Severus? Just good friends right now."

Severus nodded, looking at nothing in particular.

"Yet? Absolutely not. She's your apprentice."

Severus looked up at her. "She is not my apprentice."

"You will be signing her apprentice papers right alongside Filius! Her published papers will give both you and Filius credit because of your help with the Defense Against the Dark Arts portions. There is no 'you and Hermione.'"

"Tell her, Severus," Arthur encouraged.

"What do you know of Sequitur Simul, Minerva?" Severus asked quietly.

"Severus!" she exclaimed, brows furrowed.

"Do not look at me like that Minerva. It is a two-way road. Her magic calls out to my magic, my magic calls out to her. And I will not apologize for something I have no control over. I will not apologize, period."

Minerva sat back, letting her head hit the back of the chair. "How long have you known?"

"Years."

"Years," she repeated. "Does Hermione know?"

"No," Severus and Arthur answered at the same time.

"But she feels it, too." whispered Severus.

Minerva looked at Severus with a mixture of fondness and annoyance. "I am your friend, Severus. And I love Hermione like a daughter. I am not rejecting you. Or the both of you, together. But you will not jeopardize her Charms Mastery. And you will not bring Hogwarts into any bad light or create a scandal where there is not one. Hermione and Neville finishing their apprenticeships shows the wizarding world that Hogwarts is back to normal and our world is healing and has a future."

"Understood," Severus replied.

Minerva stood and placed a hand on Severus' shoulder and squeezed. She walked out but not before they heard her say, "Merlin," to no one in particular.

"Why did you come into the library tonight, Arthur?"

Severus' lips curled into a smile despite himself when Arthur's face lit up. "Hermione got me a solar calculator." He brought the small 4-function calculator out of his pocket. "Have you ever seen anything so amazing? It's so small. And it harvests the power of sunlight. I can't wait to take it apart." He paused. "I apologize for walking in on you. That, too, is an occupational hazard of having seven kids. I'm always asking someone, 'How hard is it to lock a damn door?'"

Severus nodded ruefully; the same thought had occurred to him about a thousand times since Arthur opened that door.

"What are you going to do?"

"I've waited this long; I can wait longer. I have the patience of Job," he added sardonically. "Will you please tell Hermione that I've left for the night, make my excuses to anyone that asks?"

Arthur nodded and stood along with Severus. "I will be happy for the both of you when the day comes." He genially slapped Severus' shoulder as he left the library.

Severus used his considerable talents as a spy to blend into shadowy corners as he made his way down the stairs and out the front door, unnoticed.

The walk down to his dungeons was miserable. Damn Arthur and his solar calculator. His night had been at once more amazing than he could have imagined and more painful than he could have imagined in the span of 30 seconds. He was thankful to have the knowledge. His desire to protect Hermione from any harm was paramount to him. He was steeling himself up for distancing himself from her for the next six months when his office wards were breached, but the doorway to his quarters remained sealed.

He knew it was her before he opened the doorway.

"Why didn't you just come in?" He took his fill of looking at her in her dress.

She smiled softly at him. "I think too much."

Even as he smiled back at her, his mind informed him that he was an idiot for letting her in as she crossed the threshold. She had been there countless times, he reminded himself; this would be no different. He could go back to status quo. He watched from the doorway as she moved closer to his bookcases.

"Why did you leave Grimmauld?" he asked casually. "The party can't be over."

"You're not the only one that can sneak out of a party, Severus."

Severus studied her as she stood by his bookcases. "Arthur was very pleased with his solar calculator."

Hermione chuckled. "Yes, well, at this point I'd like to crush it into a million pieces."

Severus sobered. "Hermione, I didn't behave," but Hermione forestalled him.

"Yes, yes," she said, annoyed. "Minerva caught me as I was leaving. 'Happy Birthday, Hermione. Oh, and don't do anything stupid to jeopardize your apprenticeship.'"

Severus smirked. Hermione was a blushing virgin in the library earlier. She was back to the fierce lioness he knew here in his dungeon. He didn't know which version he was more attracted to at that moment.

Hermione continued. "But I'll be damned if I don't get what's owed to me."

Severus' eyebrow raised as he walked slowly to her. "And, what, exactly, is owed to you, Hermione?"

"My birthday gift. I'll play the role of the dutiful apprentice tomorrow. But right now, it's still my birthday."

He stood in front of her and slowly leaned into her ear, listening to her breath quicken. "There's my bossy little witch," he said in his silkiest voice. "How can I deny you your present?"

"Severus," she breathed, "I'm falling… do… do you…."

He cut her off with a whispered, "Yes," before he kissed her softly on the lips. He could feel her: he could feel her lips, her breath, her cheek and neck as he held her. But he could also feel her magic. Her magic was overwhelming. They were both breathing hard and he knew she could feel it too. Before he knew what was happening, they were kissing again, deepening their kisses. She was holding him around the waist. His hands were on her neck and the small of her back. Minutes later, he found himself pulling her tightly to him so that she could feel him, feel what she did to him. She moaned. Her moan brought him back to his senses and he let her go somewhat, touching his forehead to hers, but refusing to completely let go of her.

"How did you like your present?" he asked, trying to get his breathing back to normal.

Hermione chuckled nervously. "Good. Just what I wanted. Perfect fit, too."

"Won't be returning it for store credit?"

"Um, no. I'm good, thanks."

"Hermione," he began, but she forestalled him again.

"Gods, no," she said, annoyed once more, pulling away slightly so that she could look at him. "Not the Hermione speech. I know, Severus. 'Smartest witch of her age' and all that. I get it. Tomorrow we have to pretend like this never happened."

"Just for a while," he said, steeling himself to let her go. He kissed her once more, one last deep kiss that would have to hold them for months. He let her go and took her hand in his.

"Just for a while?"

Severus nodded. "The minute you complete your apprenticeship, there will be no more Hermione or Severus speeches. Everyone else can go hang after that."

Hermione smiled at him. "Well, then, goodnight Severus. I just put myself on an accelerated program and I've got some work to do."

Severus smiled at her. "Get to work, woman." He walked her to the doorway to his office and gave her one last lingering kiss before opening it. "Happy Birthday, Hermione. Now sneak back to your party."

"Thank you for the gift, Severus."

Later that night, he pulled out his notebook, hoping she was back at Hogwarts.

.

_-I didn't think that you could be lovelier than you are every day. And then you put on that damn dress. You are my fantasy. -S_

_You are making me blush. -H_

_-One day I will make that blush travel down your body. -S_

.

She didn't write a reply and he knew she was overthinking, again.

_._

_-You are everything I want, Hermione. And I am a patient man. -S_

_I'll keep the dress safe. -H_

_-Thank Merlin. Happy Birthday, witch. -S_


	19. October 1999

**Author's Note: There's a little something for everyone in this chapter, including my Ron fans. Enjoy! **

**October 1999**

Outwardly over the next weeks, Hermione and Severus were the definition of status quo. Classes were in full swing, lessons were taught, papers were graded, projects were resumed. But inwardly, they were changed.

Hermione was working like a woman possessed. She seemed to be more tired and eating less. They had tacitly decided to pull back from their physical relationship. One result was that Hermione no longer came down to his quarters.

"I'll see you tonight for rounds," Hermione said casually one morning at breakfast.

"I have rounds with Langham tonight, I thought."

"I told him I needed to trade with him."

Severus smirked. "And he agreed?"

"Obviously," she said, mimicking Severus.

Severus raised an eyebrow, looking at her.

Hermione popped up from her chair. "See you tonight."

Later that night, Severus waited in his office, interested to see what the night held for him.

Hermione opened his office door and walked in. "Ready?"

Severus nodded and they left his office. They walked his usual pattern: down each corridor methodically working their way up each floor. Severus was no fool and they both knew that they were making their way to the astronomy tower.

She talked and told him about the work she was doing to get her projects completed and ready for publication. It was not as exciting as developing the charms.

"I wish I could write in your quarters. It's lonely."

Severus hummed in agreement. "Quite."

They chastised students who were out past curfew. But as they reached the higher floors, there were no students to be found. They climbed up the stairs to the Astronomy Tower and Severus did a sweep of the tower to make sure they were the only visitors.

As he came back around to Hermione, she reached up to Severus' neck to bring him down to her and kissed him. He felt her wandlessly ward the door to the tower. "I've missed you so much," she said as Severus kissed her neck.

He stopped that he could look at her. "I've missed you, too."

"I just want to be done. I don't want to hide on the Astronomy Tower to kiss you." She punctuated this with another kiss.

He could tell she was tired and overwhelmed. "Let's sit, Hermione." He cushioned the floor and they sat down. She put her hand on his leg and he put his arm around her. He kissed her softly, letting go of the urgency he felt when they first arrived.

"What are we supposed to do next? What happens after my apprenticeship? I've never done this before. I've never even snogged on the Astronomy Tower before," she joked. "So many questions." She looked at him and smiled sadly. "I'm a mess."

He looked at her and smiled. "You're not a mess. You're normal. This is how normal people feel when they can see the finish line." He paused. "Hermione, at one point, quite soon if I'm not mistaken, your life with look like every other witch's. You will leave Hogwarts, get a job and then a wizard will ask you on a date. If he is very, very lucky, you will say yes. And if he's extraordinarily lucky," he said silkily, "you will be wearing that blue dress you wore at your party."

She playfully hit his leg.

He laughed and put his head back on the wall as she put her head on his shoulder.

"I don't have the answers, Hermione. I've never snogged on the Astronomy Tower either, though I can now say I have."

That earned him another playful swat.

"I miss you," he continued. "If you want to work in my quarters, work in my quarters."

"But Minerva," Hermione began.

"Minerva wants you finished without a scandal. You've spent the last six months in my quarters and Hogwarts didn't implode."

"I'd like that," she said softly. "But I have to get my work done," she said warningly.

Severus nodded. "I know."

"Do you promise?"

"Yes. Bossy little witch."

A few moments later, Hermione broke the silence. "I love you, Severus."

He turned to her as she raised her head from his shoulder. "I love you, too, Hermione."

He watched, somewhat stunned, as Hermione maneuvered her body to straddle Severus' lap. The emotion of hearing those words coupled with the kisses that followed threatened to drown him and it took all of his self-control to slow them down after a long few minutes.

"We're not checking off any more boxes tonight, love."

She blushed and nodded, smiling. Then her face registered comprehension. "Love."

He knew she was remembering months ago when she thought he almost called her, "Lily." He leaned in to kiss her again and whispered, "Love." He wound one of his hands into her hair as they kissed. His other hand held her waist and every fiber of his being wanted to explore her body. The hand on her waist started inching up when he felt Hermione tense.

He leaned his head back onto the cold stone wall with his eyes closed and lowered his hands. "We need to leave, Hermione." He could hear her shaky breathing as she tried to regain her composure.

"Um, yes." But even as she agreed with him, he felt her finger trace his lips.

He grabbed her finger and opened his eyes as he kissed it. They sat there for a moment later looking at each other. He smiled at her softly. His Hermione. He took in the sight of her sitting on his lap and took a deep breath. "I think this time you're going to need to help me up."

"Do I get to call you a bossy wizard?" she joked, maneuvering off of him and holding out her hands to help Severus stand up.

He lowered his head and kissed her chastely. "Let's walk to your quarters. And I'll see you tomorrow night?"

She nodded.

He smoothed a section of her hair that he had mussed as they had kissed right before he opened the door of the Astronomy Tower.

After that night, Hermione resumed coming down to his quarters to work. They settled into a routine that Severus could only describe as domestic. It was nice to kiss her every night. But he, too, was ready for her to be done so that they could get on another path, leading to a different destination. He was ready to stop hiding. But the change wrought in Hermione was worth it. She was much happier, and they were both better together.

The following Sunday, Severus received an owl at breakfast. There were only two other professors at breakfast that early; most were having a lie-in. Which was good, because the bird was making quite a scene.

"Pig!" Hermione exclaimed, trying to quiet down the hyper ball of fluff as it twittered near Severus' coffee.

"Pig?"

"Don't ask. It's Ron's owl."

"Of course. Why is Ronald mailing me?"

"How would I know? Here, I'll hold Pig while you untie the letter."

Severus untied the letter and watched as Hermione gave the owl a piece of bacon and told it to be safe flying home. How a witch so well versed in the dark arts could be so kind was beyond him.

_Severus,_

_Meet us at the Leaky Cauldron at 7 Saturday night. Don't escort Hermione. She'll probably ask, but say no._

_Harry_

"What does Harry want with me at the Leaky Cauldron Saturday night?" Severus asked, skeptical.

"Oh, what time? I'm going to London to meet up with Ginny at six. We can go together."

"How are you getting to London?"

"Minerva's fireplace. So can we go together?"

Severus looked again at the letter and handed it over to her.

She scanned it quickly. "What? All right, fine. But you'll go, won't you?"

Severus wondered what, if anything, he could refuse her. He harrumphed and nodded. But Hermione just laughed at him and he smiled into his coffee mug when she smiled at him.

Saturday at seven, Severus traveled by Floo to the Leaky Cauldron. He steeled himself for the night ahead of him. He trusted Potter, but this had "plots and plans" written all over it.

As he exited the fireplace in The Leaky Cauldron, he rolled his eyes. It looked like "plots and plans" was an understatement. A few of the tables had been pushed together to make a table for ten right in the middle of the pub, and seated there were Harry, Ron and a few others. But as Severus walked nearer the table, he was surprised that it was Bill Weasley that stood and loudly greeted him.

"Severus, over here!" he exclaimed, both loudly and completely unnecessarily. As Severus got closer he shook Severus' hand and clapped him on the back.

"Bill," Severus greeted. Everyone was on a first-name basis after Ginny's admonishments.

"Here, have a seat," he gestured to the seat next to him.

He sat and took stock of the men greeting him: Bill, Ron, George, Draco and Harry. There were empty seats strategically placed among the men. Definitely plotting. The Leaky Cauldron was full of patrons, and full of people walking through to go to Diagon Alley. He could pick out quite a few Ministry workers, some members of the Wizengamot and quite a few witches were openly staring at the table of mostly eligible bachelors.

It was loud in the pub, but even so, Severus cast a mild Muffliato. "All right, Harry. Why are we here?"

"For Hermione," he answered, as if Severus was thick. "Listen, word on the street is that you and Hermione are about to become 'you and Hermione.'"

He didn't feel the need to lie to this ragtag group. "Yes. But I don't see," he began.

"Think of us as your backstory," Ron answered. "'Hermione was my apprentice' kind of sucks for a backstory, don't you think?"

"It does indeed," Severus answered.

"Hermione," Harry began, "has a lovely strategy with press in general and especially bad press; she likes to try to ignore it and then get revenge, but we're a little tired of the get revenge plan. We don't do anything without thinking in advance about how to keep our names out of the Daily Prophet."

"As if you could go one day without your name in there," Draco scoffed. He turned to Severus. "The goal is to reduce the amount of mud your name will be dragged through."

Ron nodded and continued. "So we're here to create the story of how you and Hermione - post apprenticeship - connected through mutual friends. Say hello to your mutual friends."

Everyone at the table laughed and Severus looked at the disparate group. He turned to Bill first. "You're my favorite Weasley," Severus started.

"Hey!" George interjected. "Can you believe that?" he asked Ron.

"Um, yeah," Ron said matter-of-factly, which made Harry and Draco laugh.

Severus ignored them. "But what are you doing here?"

"For Hermione," Bill said seriously. "If they say Hermione needs me, I'm here."

"See," Ron began, "problem number two - after the apprenticeship problem - is that you're older."

"But you're not that much older than me," Bill supplied. "Hanging out with me makes people think you're younger. I also have a wife seven years younger. We're the bridge in age between you and Hermione. You and I are about to be best friends."

"What other problems are you fixing for me tonight? Why are you here, Draco?"

"For Hermione," he said seriously.

"_Merde_," Ron said, rolling his eyes. "He's here because he's still trying to rehab the Malfoy name."

"Oh yeah," Draco replied, "well _merde_ to you, too. You didn't ask me here for the Malfoy name or for Hermione."

Harry snorted. "Draco took me and Ron to see the French Quidditch National Team play and we stayed with his family in France. We learned how to swear in French and we met Draco's cousin Elyse."

"_Merde_. Where was I?" joked George.

"Elyse Malfoy is your cousin?" Fleur Delacour's voice came from over Severus' shoulder. All of the men turned to see Fleur, Hermione, Ginny and Angelina, all of whom were carrying shopping bags. "She is very nice, Ron. I went to school with her. Very good at Potions."

"That would make one of you," deadpanned Severus, causing everyone to laugh, including Ron.

"Very ugly, though," Harry joked as Ginny raised one eyebrow with fake menace. She gave him a smile and rolled her eyes.

The men stood and the women walked to the open seats.

"Ginny," Severus said in greeting.

"Severus," Ginny replied with a smile and a nod.

It was deja vu to watch Hermione as she tried to figure out where to sit. But she needn't have worried, that choice had been made hours ago. On one side of the table, it was Angelina, Ron, Harry, Ginny and Hermione. On the other side was George, Draco, Severus, Bill and Fleur. Severus was impressed with the casualness of the layout coupled with the strategy. Hermione was isolated from Ron so that no one would think they were a couple. Hermione was seated next to her best girlfriend. Couples were seated by each other. Severus and Hermione were at the same table within talking distance but not next to each other.

Severus leaned toward Draco. "Nice arrangement."

Draco nodded. "Anything for Hermione."

Upon hearing her name, Hermione looked toward Draco and Severus. She smiled nervously.

Conversation bounced from George's joke shop to wedding plans for Harry and Ginny to what was going on at Hogwarts and Gringotts and Magical Law Enforcement. Severus was pleased that beyond the meeting and the seating arrangement, nothing else was scripted or forced. He did feel like people were asking him more questions than normal, but what was normal with this lot? The addition of Bill was a stroke of genius. Bill was ten years older than Hermione's cohort and as such, he changed the dynamic of the group slightly. It made it slightly more mature, but it also had the effect of freeing Severus to smile and laugh with the group. Bill brought the younger people up a notch in maturity and brought Severus down a notch. No one watching their group would think that eight people had birthed a master plan. They were like an eight-headed plotting, twinkling Dumbledore. _Gryffindors._

Two weeks later, his floo activated and Minerva asked him to join her in her office. A minute later, he exited the fireplace in the office that was once his and took a seat across from Minerva and a snoozing portrait of Dumbledore.

"Minerva," Severus greeted.

"I wanted to talk to you about Hermione," Minerva began.

Severus raised an eyebrow. "We had that conversation already."

"This is a new one." She paused. "You need to tell her about the Sequitur Simul."

Severus pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. "Why?"

Minerva frowned at him. "Do you mean to tell me your plan is to never tell her?"

"No. I just want to hear your reasons."

"Did your knowing about it change the way you viewed Hermione?"

Severus looked up at the snoozing portrait of Dumbledore. "Yes."

"The longer you wait, the more that will turn from a positive sentiment in Hermione's mind to a negative one. She will feel like she's the last one to the meeting. That all of the decision making has been made and no one asked her opinion. And we both know that Hermione is usually the first to know things, not the last. I don't think she'll thank you for keeping that from her."

"When was I supposed to tell her? When she was a fifth year in the Hospital Wing? When she was on the run from Voldemort?"

Minerva studied him. "But there was a time, wasn't there? That sliver of light between friendship and budding romance? There was a time when it could have gone smoother."

Severus nodded. "And I missed it. I was a coward."

Minerva stood and walked around her desk to where he was sitting. "Not a coward. Just a man with much to lose." She sat in the chair next to him and summoned a tartan tin of biscuits. "Have a biscuit, Snape."

Severus looked at her and shook his head. "Biscuits won't fix this, Minerva."

"No," Minerva said, sighing and picking out a biscuit. "They never quite do. But you can fix this. As I see it, you've got three things going for you: one, Hermione is very intelligent. Two, the Sequitur Simul doesn't lie. It's not a life guarantee, but it's definitely something hard to ignore. Merlin, even Molly, who wanted Hermione as a daughter-in-law has decided instead to just adopt you both as family, together. Third, Hermione is very fond of you, if she doesn't love you already." She paused. "I know you Severus. You already have a plan. Out with it. Can I help?"

Severus looked at Minerva and nodded. "She needs to find out just like I did. I'm going to show her the memory. And maybe a couple more."

"You need the pensieve?"

"Yes. And I would dearly like privacy." Here he glanced up at the portraits who, though feigning sleep, were no longer snoring.

Minerva frowned at the eavesdropping portraits. "We understand, don't we Phineas?"

Phineas Nigellus did a very bad acting job waking up. "I'm sorry, Minerva, did you call me?"

Minerva rolled her eyes. "When?"

"The second she's done with her apprenticeship, formally. I don't want to derail her so close to the end. And I don't want her to start this next chapter of her life without her knowing."

Minerva nodded. "You'll have it."


	20. November 1999

**Author's Note: ****Thank you all for reading and reviewing! Some**** reviews have indicated mixed guesses about Hermione's reaction regarding the Sequitur Simul. It's time for the big reveal! **

**November 1999**

"Done," Severus said.

"Done! I'm so happy. And," Hermione continued coyly, "I think that deserves a gift."

Severus raised an eyebrow at her. "I seem to recall you liking my gifts."

She raised her hands to draw him down to herself and they kissed. He put his hands around her waist and moaned when he felt her fingers wind through his hair and the feel of her breasts pressing against his chest.

It was then that Severus heard the cough, coming from an empty frame near the fireplace. Severus ended the kiss and looked up to the ceiling, taking a deep breath.

Severus looked at her. "Hermione," he said softly, "I love you." His hands held tight to her sides.

She smiled at him. "I love you, too." She searched his eyes and frowned. "What is going on? Why do I hear a 'but'?"

"No, there's no but, Hermione. I love you. I need to tell you something." He paused. "I need to show you something. We need a pensieve for it. We're going to Minerva's office."

Severus threw some floo powder into the fireplace and they both watched as the fire turned green. He gestured for Hermione to go first and watched as she called out, "Minerva's office" and spun out of sight.

When he stepped out of the fire in Minerva's office, it was a stony-faced Hermione that met him.

"Where's Minerva?"

"I asked her to give us her office for an hour tonight." He looked around and was also pleased that Phineas had convinced the other portraits to give them privacy as well.

Severus stepped toward the pensieve and she asked, "Are we watching a memory? Together?"

"Yes." He poured the memory that he had bottled up earlier that day into the pensieve. He looked at her and watched her bite her lip and then put her face into the swirling substance. A moment later, he landed next to her in the Department of Mysteries.

They both watched as Severus entered the room and cast the Homenum Revelio. After a minute, he watched Hermione's face frown, perplexed as she watched her own spell fail. Then her eyes got wide and she looked back at Severus at Luna's understanding. She watched him heal her and talk to Luna. After another few minutes, they returned to Minerva's office.

"Explain," Hermione said, emotionless.

"Hermione, come sit," Severus began.

"No, just explain."

Severus steeled himself for the rocky path he was about to walk. "Sequitur Simul."

"A spell?" she asked, confused.

"Not a spell. It's magic, communicating something."

"Magic does not communicate," she responded, nettled.

"You know that's not true. Your best friend's wand knew its twin. Staircases move to accommodate or thwart you."

"What, exactly, is that communicating? And why did Luna recognize it?" Hermione's voice was devoid of emotion, and Severus knew this was not going to end well.

"Luna recognized it because Luna's family is well versed in obscure magical lore." He paused. "Sequitur Simul signifies that your magic knows my magic, calls out to my magic, and vice versa. Like calls to like."

"And you've known this since that day?"

"Yes."

She blinked, looking slightly down and away, thinking hard and not meeting his eyes. "That's why you helped my parents. You've been doing all of this because of a spell?"

"No, Hermione." His hands tensed at his side reflexively with the stress that was building. "You've been with me, Hermione. You've had the same conversations, the same experiences with me. No one has been under a spell. It's knowledge."

She finally looked back at him. "Knowledge that you've kept from me. For years!"

"How exactly do you bring this up to someone?" His voice was getting louder. "Here's the book you wanted, our magics might be intertwined."

"But you've known! And you've done... everything... you've made choices... because of this knowledge."

Severus stayed silent. It was the truth. He had navigated his life to be near hers all because of this knowledge.

"Is that why you saved my li-"

"Do not finish that question," he growled, and she fell silent, staring at the ground. He felt as though he had been slapped. He stared at her face, so devoid of the feelings from ten minutes prior. He willed himself to say what needed to be said. "I have had time to come to grips with something I didn't ask for and didn't understand. My goal tonight was to put us on even ground. I've done that." He ran his hands through his hair. "I am leaving you two more memories. Watch them or don't. I have not done anything with this knowledge except to seek you out, try to get to know you. You are free to make your own choices. You have been free to make your own choices every day."

Severus deflated somewhat as Hermione continued to stare at the ground, arms crossed. "I'll let you be." The click of the door behind him as he left Minerva's office felt very final to him.

The next morning was a Sunday, and as Severus entered the Great Hall, he was unsurprised to see Hermione's empty seat. He sat down between Hermione's seat and Minerva's, which was also empty. After ten minutes, Minerva entered the Great Hall and took her seat next to Severus.

"I just said goodbye to Hermione."

Severus nodded.

"I would have not expected her reaction to this, Severus. She is usually more logical than this. But she'll be back. Sequitur Simul," she began.

"Damn the Sequitur Simul," Severus growled. "I don't care what obscure magic says right now. I care about Hermione."

Minerva studied him for a moment. "Then she'll definitely be back."

Severus picked up his notebook that night, wondering if it would ever glow again.

.

_You are not a feather being magicked into the air; you are not a teacup being transfigured at whim. Your magic is you. And your magic is beautiful to me. -S_

.

Monday morning, Severus went down to breakfast early out of habit. The emptiness of the Great Hall at that hour, coupled with the chair sitting empty to his right, compounded his loneliness since Hermione had left. He was about to leave after only a few minutes when Pigwidgeon landed sloppily next to a jug of pumpkin juice then immediately took flight once more near Severus' face. Severus was able to reign him in and take the small scroll from his leg. He fed Pig a small bite of toast to calm him while he read the note.

_Severus,_

_The Leaky Cauldron, Saturday at 8. Hermione won't be there. Just guys._

_Harry_

Severus re-read the parchment. Half of him was surprised. This obviously wasn't about plots and plans if Hermione wasn't going to be there. The other half of him wasn't surprised at all. These were good people. And they genuinely seemed to care about him within the context of Severus and Hermione, but they also seemed to like him for himself. He sent Pig on his way with a reply that he would meet them on Saturday.

When Saturday arrived, he used the fireplace in Minerva's office to floo to The Leaky Cauldron. Instead of a loud table set for ten, he found them sitting around a table in a secluded spot in the corner: Harry, Ron, George, Bill and Draco. Every time he saw Draco sitting with these men, it reminded him that the war was worth it and that lives were changed for the better. This group was a definite upgrade from Crabbe and Goyle.

Harry spotted him first and waved at him. Severus found his empty seat between George and Bill.

Harry cast a Muffliato and then quickly looked at Severus, clearly remembering that Severus invented that spell.

Severus raised an eyebrow in response but let it pass.

Draco dove right in. "Shit week, huh?"

"You could say that," Severus answered. "Have you seen Hermione?" This was asked to the table at large.

There were some nervous laughs and a lot of looks around the table.

"Yes." Harry said. "Most of us were at the Burrow last Sunday for dinner. She has words. Lots of them. Not a lot of us got a word in edgewise. It's just tough because there are a couple things Hermione hates: feeling like she knows less because she's Muggleborn…"

At this, Ron groaned. "Merlin, why did it have to be Luna that knew something she didn't?"

George whistled low. "It was Luna? Oh, damn."

Harry continued, "And she absolutely hates Divination. And this feels 'wooly' like Divination to her. She's been going through the library at Grimmauld and Draco even took her to Malfoy Manor to look through books to see if she can find anything out about this thing."

"She actually did great coming to the Manor," Draco reassured Severus, who looked shocked that Hermione would step foot in Malfoy Manor. "I took her in through the back gardens and my parents have redecorated most of the place. You wouldn't recognize it."

Severus nodded.

"She's upset at you," Bill said, "for withholding the information, but I really don't think she thinks you could have told her earlier. She's very conflicted about it all."

"When something like this happens," Ron contemplated, "there are really only three responses: 'suck it up', 'let's fix it', or to just be present and sit with them in whatever emotion they're feeling."

"Grown-ups call that 'empathy', Ron," George joked.

"Ron and I," Harry took over, "were both thinking, 'go fix it.' So Ron tells Hermione to go talk to you and work out your problems."

Severus looked at Ron, who raised his pint in salute to Severus. Severus was touched that Ron would go to bat for him.

"Listen," said Ron, "you make her happy. You know that, right?"

Severus didn't respond, but next to him Bill nodded, as well as Harry.

"We like happy Hermione. Angry Hermione is a," but Ron stopped at the dark look from Severus. "A lovely girl," Ron finished lamely.

Draco snorted. "Angry Hermione has a mean right hook. Happy Hermione is a lot nicer."

"Yeah, well, anyway," continued Harry. "Ron's solid advice didn't go so well. What were her exact words, Ron?"

"I think it was something along the lines of, 'Shut the hell up, Ron.'"

Everyone laughed.

"My lovely wife," said Bill, "went the 'suck-it-up' route and encouraged Hermione to accept the gift of the magic - 'si romantique' - and that she was 'being foolish.'"

The whole table groaned then started laughing. Severus did not laugh.

"Why am I always missing the good stuff?" asked George, wide-eyed.

"Because you picked your hot girlfriend over family dinner, loser," Draco deadpanned.

"Git. Who invited you?" George teased.

"What did Hermione say?" Severus asked, curious.

Ron and Harry looked at each other and said at the same time, "Shut the hell up, Fleur."

"Was Fleur upset?" George asked Bill, shocked.

"Oh no," Bill said casually. "She thinks 'Ze English are so cute when zhey are angry.'"

"Which only made Hermione angrier," Ron laughed.

"Yeah," continued Harry, "so Ginny and I are being the grown-up empathizers this time. Which means I sit silently. Ginny is just letting her be mad - and every other emotion all at the same time - and talk it all out. But we know she misses you. Ginny thinks she'll come 'round. We all do."

At this, everyone at the table nodded solemnly.

"It's just going to take some time," Bill added.

Severus looked across the table at Draco. "You were there, Draco?"

"Oh yes. Never seen anything like it. I should have hung out with more Gryffindors at Hogwarts."

"What did you say to Hermione?" Severus was genuinely curious.

"Say?" asked Draco, confused. "I didn't say anything! I can preemptively tell myself to shut the hell up, unlike these people." He then looked around at the Gryffindors. "Self-preservation isn't a big priority with Gryffindors, is it?"

Harry, Ron, George and Bill all looked at each other, contemplating, then answered all at once.

"No."


	21. December 1999

**Author's Note: Can you believe we're at the end? Only the epilogue left after this chapter!**

**December 1999**

_._

_-Congratulations. I read your submission in Challenges in Charming. Your application of the apparition charm will greatly benefit MLE and the Aurors. Filius keeps quoting it at meals to anyone who will listen. - S_

_Thank you. -H_

_-I hope you are well. I think of you often. -S_

_I think of you too. I just don't know what's true anymore. -H_

_-Will you be at the Ministry's Yule Ball? -S_

_Harry is making me go. -H_

_._

Severus already knew that Harry was making her go. He and Harry had been making quieter "plots and plans" over owl post. There wasn't much anyone could do, but all Severus needed was to see her in person. To remind Hermione that as angry as she was at him, that they used to be friends.

He traveled by floo to the Ministry, where the grand atrium had been set up for the Annual Yule Ball. It was filled with Ministry workers, large donors, war heroes and the like. The only perk to being a war hero was the invitation that was in his pocket for this event. He had needed a built-in way to see Hermione and it had arrived by owl three weeks prior. Instead of vanishing it immediately like he had one year ago, he instead pocketed it and sent an owl off to Harry. Harry had said that it hadn't been easy, but that Hermione had finally agreed to go. He also warned Severus that Hermione had told Harry to "stop the damn twinkling and meddling" and that Hermione hadn't softened much toward Severus.

Severus had arrived near the middle of the event. Just because he needed the event didn't mean he wanted to ruin his whole night. He found Hermione easily. She was sitting with Harry at a table off to the side while Ginny was dancing with Neville. Severus prayed that she would stand up and let him look at her properly, because what he could see of her dress was enough to hope he didn't trip walking over to her. It was a perfect dark green that made her skin glow and it came up only on one shoulder, leaving the other one bare. He had never seen her dressed like that and for the millionth time he wondered why he had been gifted to be matched with her. He watched her through a few songs. He watched her dance with Neville and Harry, but no other men approached her. Spineless, unworthy fools. She was left to sit alone again, and he knew it was time.

She eyed him nervously as he walked toward her and stood in front of her.

"Will you dance with me?"

Hermione nodded but looked wary. She took his outstretched hand.

They moved out onto the dance floor and he placed his other hand on her side as her other hand rested on his shoulder. This is where he wanted to be. This is where he wanted to be forever. He silently prayed that she would listen to him tonight.

"I've missed you, Hermione."

"I've missed you, too," she said softly.

"I have a solution."

"A solution? To what?"

"I have the truth," he said enigmatically.

Hermione looked skeptical. "Severus, this isn't something we can just," she began, but he forestalled her.

"You look beautiful tonight, Hermione."

Hermione sighed. "Thank you, but-"

"I especially like your earrings." He smiled at her.

"My earrings?"

"Yes," he reached up as if to touch her earring. "Oh my. Look what I found behind your earring." Severus performed a slight-of-hand trick and when he drew his hand back, there was a small crystal vial in his palm.

She stopped dancing and smiled, despite herself.

"It's magic," he whispered.

"I'm not very fond of magic at the moment," she said frankly. "What in the world are you up to, Severus?"

He placed the vial in the palm of her hand and wrapped her hand around the small vial. "It's veritaserum. _Our_ veritaserum, to be specific."

She opened her hand and looked at the vial with the label that she had written a year prior. She looked up at him.

He placed his hands out again to restart the dance. She put her hand in his, her other hand holding the vial and resting on his shoulder.

"So," he began, "our choices: we can pour that whole vial into that monstrosity of a punch bowl and have one hell of a night finding out who is sleeping with whom in the Ministry."

She mirrored his smirk. "Or, if we don't want the ministry to implode? What's behind door number two?"

"Behind door number two is the truth. The truth from me. And the truth from you. You know I'm not immune." He paused. "We _know_ you're not immune," he deadpanned.

She stepped on his foot in retaliation, but she was trying not to smile.

"Ow. Watch your feet, woman," he teased. He looked up as the music faded and couples all around them were wandering off the dance floor. He lowered his hand from her side and lowered their joined hands, but kept holding on to her hand. "Come talk with me, Hermione. Come yell at me. Hex me. Just come. Let's find the truth."

Hermione looked into his eyes and nodded. "Where? Now? I came with Harry and Ginny," she began.

He followed her line of sight and found Harry. Harry caught Hermione looking for him and cut a path straight to her.

"Severus," Harry greeted. "Hermione, are you all right?"

"We're going to go talk. I'll floo home from Hogwarts later. You and Ginny have fun."

"Thanks, Hermione. I'm glad. That's good, it's good. I'm glad."

Hermione rolled her eyes at Harry. "Leave, Harry. Go find Ginny."

Harry smiled sheepishly. "Love you, Hermione."

"Love you, too."

Hermione turned back to Severus. "I'm ready."

Severus put his hand on Hermione's back and walked with her to the Ministry fireplaces. "Floo to Minerva's Office. She's in her office waiting. She's expecting me and a few others to use her fireplace tonight." He watched as Hermione stepped into the flames calling out Minerva's office as her destination. He followed suit and moments later stepped out onto Minerva's rug.

"Evening, Severus," Minerva intoned from behind her desk. "You and Hermione are the last ones back. I'm going to ward the fireplace and go to bed. You know the password to the office when Hermione wants to floo back. Goodnight, Hermione, Severus."

"Goodnight, Minerva," they both replied. They left Minerva's office and made their way silently down to the dungeons. Severus opened the door to his quarters from his office and they made their way inside as they had so many times before.

He sat on the couch and was hopeful when she took her end of the couch instead of the wingback chair. She was sitting rather more stiffly than normal, but that was probably a combination of nerves and her dress. How was he supposed to concentrate on important issues with that damn dress driving him mad?

"Why are you doing this, Severus?"

"Best friends, Hermione. We were there before - before I had romantic feelings for you, I was - I still am - fiercely loyal to you as a friend. You said it yourself months ago. There aren't a lot of us who understand everything. You may not like how we got there, but I want my friend back. Now. Not months from now, not years from now. If I never," his throat stuck as he was about to talk about not having her as a partner, the lover and wife he had fantasized about. He knew that what he was about to say was true, but would kill him. "If I never get a romantic partner back but could have you as a friend, that would be enough." He ran his hand through his hair and muttered, "Shit," under his breath as the thought of losing her hit him again.

Hermione swallowed and still looked sad. "What else do I not know?"

Severus didn't hesitate. "I entered your wards disillusioned the night Harry retrieved the sword. Life at Hogwarts was miserable. I just wanted to be reminded that there was one person in the world who didn't hate me." He paused. "You felt me breach the wards, but the wards were obviously still up. I stood watching you for a few minutes and then left when Harry reentered."

Hermione breathed in and leaned her head back onto the couch. "And you knew you could because of the Sequitur Simul. All the wards understand Sequitur Simul. We were just there, Severus. You could have told me."

"I know."

"What else?"

Severus shook his head. "That's it. You know everything else. What have you found out about Sequitur Simul? Harry said you've been reading."

"Nothing. Just that it exists. It's like the magic harnessed in the Mirror of Erised. No one knows why or how."

"Okay."

"And that doesn't upset you?" she asked, incredulous.

"I think it's normal!" he challenged, raking his hand through his hair.

"How can you think this is normal? Magic tells you we're alike and that's the impetus for getting to know me. And that's normal?"

"What's so different?" His volume was rising to match hers. "If Harry had introduced us on a blind date and said, 'Hey Hermione, I know this man who is really smart and will actually be able to understand and appreciate the big words you use', would that be better? This is how people get to know one another and become friends, Hermione. They figure out that they are like each other. You're just upset because I had a shortcut and that shortcut was a smarter friend than Harry nudging me in the right direction. But if you like me even as an acquaintance that you would say hello to in the street, you'd better be damn grateful for that shortcut. Just the thought, the mere suggestion that you and I are in any way compatible scraped years or decades off of the process of me becoming 'relaxed, not-a-little-shit Severus' in front of you." He left the couch and kneeled in front of her, placing his hands on either side of her legs. They were now practically eye level. "Is there any part of you, Hermione, that is grateful for the Sequitur Simul? Because I am so thankful. Just knowing that magic thought we were alike gave me hope through some very dark days." Severus deflated slightly, still looking at her. "No one forced me to fall in love with you. And no one forced you to come down to my dungeons week after week to spend time with me. No one coerced you to seek me out for your projects." He thought for a moment and smirked. "Actually, that's not true. Filius could have helped you more than he let on, but he knew something."

Hermione looked livid. And when Severus smiled, she looked even more livid.

"He knew that I was fond of you. And he felt that you were fond of me, too. He knows nothing of the Sequitur Simul. Normal people can see these things even without magic. Maybe we would have figured it out all on our own, but I'm not sure, because I can be a stubborn arse even with magic helping me. And so can you." His thumbs rubbed the sides of her legs softly. "I should have told you about the Sequitur Simul earlier, gods, so many times I started to tell you. But I knew you would be upset to think you had been kept in the dark about something and I knew you would have the same feelings I did when I first learned of it. I just didn't know how to tell you. But as I came to know you better, the Sequitur Simul simply became confirmation of what I already knew as a man. That my magic calls out to your magic because your magic is you and you are so very attractive to me."

Hermione smiled at him, a genuine smile, for the first time since she had entered his quarters.

Severus' gut unclenched slightly as hope reentered that she still loved him. He reached out for her hands was relieved when she put her hands in his. He smiled when he found that the bottle of veritaserum was still tightly clutched in one. She rolled her eyes at him and smiled back.

Hermione looked at Severus and sobered. "I'm so sorry I accused you of saving me only because of Sequitur Simul. That was horrible. I don't think that. I would never think that of you."

Severus nodded. "If you watched my memories, you know that I wasn't at my best when I found out either."

Hermione smirked. "Ahhh yes, like telling Dumbledore how you weren't attracted to me?"

Severus narrowed his eyes at her. "You were seventeen. You know exactly what I meant." He grabbed the veritaserum. "It's time."

Confused, Hermione said, "We don't need that Severus. I know you are telling me the truth."

Severus watched her shock grow as he took the cork out of the vial.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"I want you to take some, too. I have some questions for you," he teased. He shook two drops into his mouth and then shook two drops into Hermione's mouth when she smiled and opened her mouth as well. Her eyebrows rose as she felt the potency level of the potion.

"Why did you wear that dress, Hermione?"

"Because I wanted you to like it and I wanted to see if other men found me attractive. I wanted to see if I was in control, if I could find other men as attractive as I find you."

"Did other men approach you tonight?"

"Not one."

"They think you're beautiful, Hermione, but you are out of their league and they know it. You intimidate men."

"Do I intimidate you, Severus?"

"No."

"Do you like my dress?"

"I haven't been able to take my eyes off of you all night. So beautiful."

Hermione smiled. "What would you like to do, Severus?"

At this, she stood and Severus followed suit, looking his fill of Hermione from her hair in an elegant updo to her silver shoes.

"I would like to kiss you. I would like to peel that dress off of you inch by inch and make love to you. I love you, Hermione. Do you love me?"

"Yes. So much yes."

They looked at each other and she blushed as the feeling of the Veritaserum faded. As he reached out to put his hands around her waist, her arms came around his neck and he kissed her. He poured all of his longing, all of the pain of being without her for a month into the kiss. After a few minutes had passed, he grudgingly stopped kissing her and used the hands on her waist to put space between them.

She smiled softly. "Who am I to say no to magic?"

"Hermione, will you go on a date with me?"

She traced his lips with her finger as she studied him. She nodded and he kissed her finger on his lips.

He took her hands and took a step back so that he could look at her once more in her dress.

Hermione smiled knowingly. "I'll keep this dress safe, too."


	22. Epilogue

**Author's Note: Here we are. I hope you enjoy as we peek through the curtains and catch a final glimpse of Severus and Hermione. Thank you again and again for reviewing and letting me know that you enjoyed the story; your reviews have made this such a fun experience for me.**

**Epilogue**

Bill Weasley ended up being a true friend rather than a "plots and plans only" friend. Professor Langham lasted through the Christmas Break that year, ensuring the curse was broken. In January, Bill was named as his replacement. He knew that Minerva and Bill had been discussing the position and Severus had agreed with Minerva that Bill was a good fit. So it was no surprise when Minerva announced the appointment at the staff meeting. What was a surprise, however, was that Fleur moved into the castle with him. He obviously knew that Bill was married to Fleur, but he thought they would live in Hogsmeade or a similar arrangement.

"How did that work, exactly?" Severus asked Bill a few evenings later in the staff room. He had been using the staff room significantly more since Hermione left.

"How did what work?"

"How did you convince Minerva to let Fleur move into the castle?"

"I didn't do anything," Bill responded. "Have you ever argued with a Veela? She just told Minerva she was moving in and how she envisioned it working."

Bill and Fleur became instant celebrities at Hogwarts when the students returned. The students loved them and having a married couple made Hogwarts feel much more like home to many of the younger students. Fleur quickly became a mentor to the older female students and her influence was tangible.

Every time Severus saw Fleur he saw a future with Hermione at Hogwarts. Every time he daydreamed about Hermione living in the castle with him, he ended up with the same thought: he couldn't believe the change in his life over his now forty years. Each decade was clear in his mind: Pre-Hogwarts and then Hogwarts, his twenties were marked with the transition from Death Eater to Spy. His thirties were all about the Second War and its aftermath. But this decade would be the Hermione decade and he was so thankful to be alive.

Severus and Hermione's first date was Muggle, on his birthday. Their "Plots and Plans Committee" - as Hermione had dubbed them - had already set up their first date in the Magical world and it wasn't for another week. So they decided Muggle would do just fine. They returned to "their chippy" - as Severus had dubbed it - and sat in a booth side by side facing the door. No one looked at them odd when Severus kissed Hermione outside the front of the shop as he opened the door for her, nor did they find it odd that Hermione paid the bill this time. It was lovely.

Their first date in the Magical World was not as smooth. It was a group date with Bill and Fleur and Harry and Ginny. It was casual and Severus didn't kiss Hermione outside any shop. But the atmosphere chilled in the magical pub as the group sat down. Severus was quite obviously paired with Hermione and the looks they were getting told them that public opinion was not on their side, at least not today in this pub.

"Damn," Ginny said, looking over Severus' shoulder. "There's a group from the Daily Prophet at the bar having drinks. Damn, damn, damn."

"Ginevra!" Severus chastised, making the whole table laugh, except Ginny who flashed him a rude gesture with her hand.

Severus sighed. "I've faced worse, Ginny. We all have. Let's just enjoy our dinner." So they enjoyed their dinner together, laughed and told stories like normal people.

The next morning, the Daily Prophet ran a scandalous article about Severus and Hermione, implying exactly what they knew it would: that Severus had seduced his apprentice while she was at Hogwarts. Severus noted that the article was, perhaps, one of the more factual articles he had read of late.

Minerva was not pleased. "You couldn't have waited a little longer?"

"There's not an expiration date on quality gossip, Minerva. I waited years. I'm not waiting or hiding any more. It'll die down eventually. Or Hermione will be sent to Azkaban for cursing a reporter. Either way, the Prophet will move on."

Severus' predication came true alarmingly quickly. The next morning's Prophet printed a full retraction citing "sources" that the couple were never seen interacting at Hogwarts and other "sources" that cited Hermione's apprenticeship had been tightly controlled by Filius Flitwick and Minerva MacGonagall. The reporter went so far as to wish the couple every happiness.

Severus read the paper after Minerva almost choked on her tea and handed it to him. "Sources? Who? Did you or Filius give an interview?"

"What? Hand that here," Filius said, now sitting directly to Severus' right since Hermione's chair had been taken away. He read the article. "No one asked me anything," he said, handing the paper back to Severus. "But I wish you every happiness, too," the diminutive professor said affectionately.

"I didn't do this. I was planning to write to the Daily Prophet for all the good it would do, but I hadn't done so yet," Minerva added.

Just then more post owls swooped into the Great Hall dropping letters on the student tables and delivering packages. An owl landed on the table in front of Severus. He took the letter and looked at Filius and Minerva. Minerva took her wand and made a movement over the letter. "It's safe." She nodded at him to open it.

Severus read aloud: "Professor Snape. I apologize for any inconvenience our article may have caused. I got a howler from my granddaughter. She informed me that it was 'none of my business who Professor Snape loves'. She then went on to let me know that you are the only reason she is successfully apprenticing at St. Mungo's. You have always been a polarizing, interesting character for our readers, but my granddaughter is my life. All the best, Barnabus Cuffe, Editor-in-Chief, Daily Prophet."

Minerva and Filius looked as shocked as Severus felt. He left the Great Hall and arrived in his quarters to find a glowing notebook, just as he expected. Hermione was in awe when Severus relayed the story.

Hermione became a frequent visitor in the castle. Between Barnabus Cuffe's proclamation in the Daily Prophet coupled with an exclusive breaking story the following week in the Quibbler about Severus, Hermione and the Sequitur Simul, Hermione's presence next to Severus in the Great Hall was never questioned again. The plan to let the public know about the Sequitur Simul was birthed by Hermione the day the negative story broke. She decided to go forward with the plan even after the retraction.

Luna was very pleased to quote herself in the story as an eyewitness. "I've never interviewed myself before. Of course, my regular readers obviously knew what Sequitur Simul was, but I was so pleased to educate other witches and wizards."

At the end of January, Minerva contacted the Floo Regulation Department and instructed Severus' fireplace to be connected to Hermione's fireplace in her room at Grimmauld Place. She was tired of Hermione and Severus using her office like a train station.

The first time Severus woke up in the middle of the night next to Hermione, he startled and woke her up.

"It's me," she said sleepily, drifting back to sleep.

Severus laid his head back on his pillow. Hermione had stepped out of his fireplace that night wearing the blue dress. Severus didn't ask her if she was sure. Hermione never did anything without being sure. When he had fantasized about making love to Hermione the first time, he thought about things like going slowly and her comfort level. He wanted to be a considerate lover. But he was quickly reminded that Hermione also never did anything without researching first. And she was excellent at research. Questions like, "How would you like to be touched?" died on his lips as she grabbed his hand to show him exactly how she liked to be touched. Thoughts of being a loving guide went away in favor of, "Where did you learn to do that?" and "More, Hermione."

He worshipped her body with his mouth and hands and voice. But his voice caught in his throat as he saw the thinnest silver line bisecting her chest, the scar that his potions had helped but could not totally erase. She had received that scar the day he received the Sequitur Simul. She moaned as his tongue followed the scar. That scar was a dogeared page holding the favorite paragraph in a beloved book. A passage underlined and highlighted, memorized. He wanted to be reminded of that day every time he made love to her.

Severus, too, had always been an excellent student and filed away what he learned with every moan and every arch of her back. Hermione's body was a pristine copy of Advanced Potions Making: he itched to brew every recipe and the margins begged to be scribbled on.

Ever since the Ministry Ball, Hermione had been all in and both of them had been letting go of their fears: he was not Ron Weasley, and she was not Lily Evans. He was forever and Hermione had the ability to forgive. He had been patient and allowed her to catch up to his longer strides. He was ready for them to walk in step together.

~oOo~

"Stupefy!" The spell fizzled from Hermione's wand, just as they knew it would.

Severus sent a Petrificus Totalis curse her way, which also fizzled.

Hermione tried a Jelly Legs curse, while Severus tried a Tickling curse. Everything fizzled.

Their friends laughed. They were all at Grimmauld Place and of course it was Draco and Ron that egged the group on to demanding a duel between the two. Everyone was genuinely curious to see what the Sequitur Simul looked like. Severus had rolled his eyes, but was secretly glad to have a chance to curse Hermione. Up until then, it had only been Hermione trying to curse Severus over the years.

Severus sent one more curse at Hermione after she put away her wand. The look she gave him told him that he would pay for that later.

He was looking forward to it.


End file.
